One Night, One Mistake with the German Playboy
by JB-FAN-4-EVER
Summary: Sadie is now raising 2 1/2 year old Haley by her self. Tom wants nothing to do with Sadie, but it seems that Bill does. Carol doesn't know what to do anymore. Sean and Sadie are hiding a secret from the world. What the hell happened? SEQUEL.
1. Chapter 1

**One Night, One Mistake with the German Playboy**

That's all it took for my life to forever change. At the time, I thought I loved him. Wait no, I knew I loved him, but I didn't know that by loving him a child would out of it.

Getting pregnant was the last thing on my mind at the time. All I could concentrate was expressing my love for him. It was wonderful, fantastic even, but who know that one night with the guy I loved, could cause me to lose him?

I sat and watched the screen with moving pictures, but I wasn't really paying attention, until a young, familiar face appeared. I stared as he posed for pictures on the red carpet. A smug smile plastered his face, as if he had the perfect life. He knew that he was loved by all, that anything asked or said, a young fan would jump at the chance to do it for him.

I picked up the controller and muted the sound. I didn't want to hear him talk about his wonderful nights with the groupies. Two and half years later, he was still the same boy. Cocky and sometimes annoying during interviews, and slept with the desperate fan girls at night. Did those girls have any sense of self-respect? I mean the guy treats you like his toy for one night, and then the next day you are just another girl added to his list.

Sometimes I wondered if he ever missed me. When he fell asleep at night, was I on his mind? Does he ever feel the same pain I do because he's not around? When he left, my life crashed and fell apart. At first, I couldn't even believe it when he said he wanted out of the relationship. I thought he loved me, but now that I look back on it, he probably said it to just get into my pants. To think that he hated the boys that said that to me just to get what they want, and then he did the same. I expected the morning after the fight, to wake up to him holding me and telling me how much he loved me and how he'd been an idiot, but that wasn't the case. He didn't come back, and he still hasn't after two and a half years.

A small cry came from the baby monitor that was clipped to my belt. I let out a sigh before trudging upstairs to my baby daughter. She was sitting in her crib, tears streaming down her face. She stretched out her arms when she saw me.

"Hey baby girl." I picked her up and sat her on my hip, gently bouncing her. A lot of people didn't want me to have her. They told me that I was too young for such a big responsibility and that I should abort her, but I couldn't. There was no way in hell that would ever happen. My love for Haley grew as the due date drew near, but I never loved anyone as much I did her, when I saw her for the first time.

When I found out I was having a baby the news wasn't so terrible for me as it probably would be for others. Secretly, I had wished for my own kid since I was fourteen. At the age of 18 I got my wish and was now 21. I just had my birthday about two months ago, and believe me, it was very boring. It consisted of me drinking till I passed out, and my mom yelling and screaming at me when I woke up later. She said I was being very irresponsible because I had let myself forget about Haley as I drank my sorrows away. She had found Haley next to me, crying, thinking that her mommy was dead, when in reality I was just too drunk to function.

Haley continued to cry as I bounced her on my hip. "Shh… It's ok…" I always had to do this, but a few minutes later, she would fall right back to sleep. Haley had been blessed with my natural, light brown hair and creamy, coffee colored skin. Her cute nose, chocolate brown eyes, and pink lips she inherited from her father, Tom Kaulitz.

I bounced her a few more times and found that she had fallen back to sleep, her head lying on my chest. I quietly walked back to the crib and laid her down gently. I took a step back and stared at her. She really did look a lot like Tom, and that broke my heart. Everytime I looked her I wanted to cry. I wanted Tom to be me with right now, but he wasn't, and I had to deal with that.

The doorbell rang downstairs, so I took one more glance at my sleeping daughter and headed down the stairs. I looked through the peephole of the front door and grimaced. I really didn't want to let him in, but I did anyway. Maybe he would help take my mind off Tom.

"Baby!" The boy said and pulled me into a hug.

"Hi." I said with no emotion.

"What? Aren't you happy to see me?" I shrugged and let him walk through the front door. "Is your mom home?"

I shook my head. "And Haley just went back to sleep."

"Oh good." He smirked and pulled me close and rested his hand on my butt. "That gives us about two hours then."

I nodded and pulled Sean up stairs. "We'll use the guest room."

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**I bet you guys weren't expecting that huh?**

**Well… the sequel is up!!! Yay! This was just a teaser. I'm not ready yet to begin posting yet. I just wanted to get this out there for you guys. I should be ready to start posting regularly in the next two weeks. I hope you guys continue to read!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Ah…" Sean stretched upward before putting his shirt on. "Thanks babe." He leaned over the bed placed a kiss on my lips.

"Sure…" I never really was enthusiastic about this whole thing. Sleeping with Sean was not my idea of fun.

Sean threw a hundred dollar bill at me. "Here."

It floated down to my pant-covered legs, and then I flicked it away. "I don't want your money. You know that."

"Aw come on babe. Why won't you let me pay you?"

"Why should I let you pay me?" I snapped my bra back on. "Do you want me to feel like some cheap ass whore?"

He laughed. "You basically are, aren't you?"

I stopped fiddling with my bra and glared at him. "You had your fun. You can go now."

"That's fine. I have to leave anyway. I'm meeting Jenny in an hour." That's right. He has girlfriend, and she doesn't want sex. She wants to wait till marriage, and Sean can't stand that. He tells her he's completely fine with that and that he is willing to wait with her, when really he's just sleeping with me behind her back. Yea… I felt like a home wrecker, but whatever. I didn't care all that much. I mean, it's not me he's cheating on.

"Tell Jenny I say hi." I called after Sean as we descended down the stairs.

"Not likely." He smirked and reached the front door. I stood behind him in nothing but my pants and bra. "I'll be back in a few days."

I didn't meet his eyes "Whatever."

"Bye." He leaned in and placed another kiss on my lips, before turning to leave my house.

"Sadie. I'm home." My mom called from the kitchen. She had entered through the back door and held a big bag of groceries. She laid them on the counter and then looked at me.

"Sean came by." I said, knowing this would upset her.

She looked me up down and a disapproving look came to her face. "Sadie, I wish-"

"Whatever Mom." I sighed and trudged back up the stairs. Haley was crying again.

***

"_Oo! That looks good! Can I have some?" I reached out to grab a cheese-covered fry from Tom's plate._

"_Hey!" Tom swatted my hand away before I could grab a hold of one. "I didn't say you could eat my food."_

"_Well, I asked!" I reached out for another, but Tom repeated the same action. "Hey!"_

"_Hey what? You tried to steal my food!"_

"_Like you've never done that to me!"_

"_Ugh fine. Here." Tom picked up his plate of fries and dumped them on my plate._

"_The whole thing?"_

"_Yea…" He shrugged. "I was done with them anyway."_

"_What the hell Tom?" I laughed and pushed his shoulder, while he grinned. _

"Sadie." I felt someone shake me. "Sadie. Wake up."

I buried my head in my pillow. "What do you want mom?"

"You need to get up."

"Why? It's not like I'm getting up for anyone. " I grumbled.

"Well how about your daughter?"

"Ugh mom! Go away! Haley's not even awake yet." Of course, Haley just had to wake up right then.

"Sadie-"

"Yea mom, I'll get her." I forced myself out of bed and walked over to the crib.

Haley was sitting up with a big smile plastered to her face. "Mama"

"Hi baby." I picked up her up, placed her on my hip and bounced her like always. It was true. I wasn't really getting up for anyone but my daughter. I still had a fan base but it wasn't as major as it was when I was seventeen. The fans still went up to me and asked for an autograph and picture, but I wasn't mobbed. The most fans that surrounded me these days was like, fifteen.

When word got out that I was pregnant, chaos ensued. As if the media wasn't at my house enough… I couldn't even walk past the front window without reporters and paparazzi shouting at me. It was then that I invested in a gate around my house.

One of the topics in the big fight with Tom was if we were going to tell anyone it was his kid. We never resolved it, but a few days later Dawn, my manager, made a public statement saying that the father will not be revealed but made sure to say that Tom wasn't it. Many speculated that he was because of all the time we spent together, and they were right, but I didn't want them to know they were right. As much as I wanted the world to know, I knew it would kill Toms image. He could no longer act like "Tokio Tom." He would have to be the "responsible and grown up Tom." "Tokio Tom" was apart of him and I was sure he wasn't ready to let that go yet. I mean, nobody even knew we were dating, so he could still be "Tokio Tom" all he wanted. I didn't want to take that away from, not yet at least.

I stopped giving interviews, doing photo shoots and making movies and TV productions. I wanted to be there for Haley. I didn't want my career to get in the way of watching her grow up. I definitely did not want to be those actresses that had nannies watch their kids. I mean come on; you can only watch your child grow up once.

"Are you hungry?" I asked Haley, as we made our way downstairs. She nodded and leaned her head against my chest. "Ok. How about… lucky charms this morning?"

"Yay!" She laughed and clapped her hands. "Yucky charms!"

I laughed and sat her in her high chair, locking the tray in front of her so she didn't fall out. Haley wasn't that great with her L's yet, so she always pronounced an L word with a Y. I'm sure she'll grow out of it soon.

***

"Mom, can you watch Haley for a little while? I need to run some errands." I had just finished getting ready for the day. The paparazzi didn't chase me around anymore, but I still had to be presentable in case a fan wanted a picture with me. Which is why I kept my extensions in. Of course I replaced them, but I kept them in because my stupid hair wouldn't grow. The long, thick black hair made me look more mature in a way.

"No I can't. Don't you remember? I have the day shift at the hospital."

"But mom, I can't take Haley out-"

"I'm sorry honey, but this time your going to have to. Besides, Haley isn't out in the public enough. You always keep her confined to the little playground nearby or our backyard."

"That's _because_ I don't want anyone to take pictures of her!" My mom and I were in the kitchen while Haley was playing with building blocks in the living room. "She doesn't need to be exposed to my lifestyle. I want her to live a normal life, and she can't do that if people are freaking out and taking pictures of her!"

She put a hand on her hip. "Since when do people 'freak' out?"

"Well, you know what I mean! Ya know the whole, "Ohh! Isn't she cute? What a darling baby you have!"

"People do that with everyone's kids."

"Not like they do with Haley." I sighed and grabbed my keys from the counter. "Can you please just watch her for a bit?"

"I told you. I have to work."

"Ugh!" I groaned and stomped into the living room.

Haley looked up from the blocks and waved, "Hi mommy! Look!" She pointed to the blocks she was playing with.

The blocks I had gotten her were colorful with letters on them. At her young age of 2 ½ she was a very smart baby. Already able to spell out some words. With the blocks, she had spelled out the words Mom and Dad. "Good job Haley!" I clapped and she grinned at me.

"That's you." She pointed at the word Mom, and then her smiled faded. "Where's daddy?" Haley had never met her dad, ever. She figured out what Dad meant after watching TV shows. She would see the happy couple with their kid and then ask, "Where's my daddy?"

I sighed and ruffled her mess of curls. "Daddy's not here baby. Daddy's not here." I repeated that everytime she asked, and figured she was never going to stop asking until "Daddy" appeared.

***

I had pulled Haley's shoulder length her into a cute pony tail, and dressed her in a mint colored dress. She wasn't a big fan of the color pink, Thank God. I don't know if I would be able to stand seeing pink everyday. When she was born I made sure all the clothes she had were anything but pink.

Haley was buckled into her car seat in the back. Everytime we stopped at a stoplight and people would use the crosswalk, Haley would frantically start waving at them and then pout when they didn't wave back. "Mommy? Why don't they wave back?"

"They can't see you Haley. There is a magical black type of force field on all the windows, making it so people can't see you."

"But I want them to see me."

"Well the magical king doesn't think they should see you."

"Why not?"

"You should ask the king tonight when you go to sleep."

"Oh… ok." Haley said, satisfied with the answer, but not really because she began to wave at people again. The people could see me, but they couldn't see Haley.

"Haley." I laughed and watched as the people walked on, not seeing a little girl try to get their attention. "They can't see-"

And that's when I saw him. His hand wrapped around a girl's waist, leaning in close to her ear to talk. My breath caught in my throat when we suddenly locked eyes. A shocked expression formed on his face, as he almost stopped in the middle of the crosswalk. He quickly averted his eyes, acting as if nothing happened, and pulled his girl tighter to him. I swear I saw him glance back at me.

"Mommy! They're beeping!" Haley cried from the back seat.

"Oh right! Mommy's going!" I stepped on the gas and rolled forward, the people behind me happy to see me moving. After two and a half years, I finally saw him. Tom Kaulitz. The father of my child. Were Carol and Bill here too?

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**Tom is back?? Carol and Bill to?!**

**So, my life is going to get even MORE busier then before, so I will only be able to post once every 4-5 days. **

**Oh and if your not sure whether I've posted a new chapter or not, just go to the first page and my first post. I'm listing them there.**

**I hope you like! With Tom back in, the story can get moving now.**

**Your reviews always make me smile.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

No way had I just seen Tom. I mean, he's been practically non-existent in my life for almost three years now! You would think that since I live in Hollywood, I would see him all the time, but I never did! I stayed away from the public and the media in the safety of my home. There was always flashes going off, and mics shoved in my face whenever I went outside, so inside was the best choice for me.

Who was that girl with him? I knew that Tom had a new girl every night, but I didn't know that he actually hung out with them during the day. Did Tom get a new girlfriend? Did he finally move on? Tom never settled down after me, at least to the public eye, but I would know if he did. There was a look in his eye that he got when he was in love, and I hadn't seen it since he'd broken up with me.

"Why did have to break up with me?" I sniffed with a sigh.

"Mommy you ok?" Haley had pulled her attention from the cars to see if I was all right.

"Yea baby. Don't worry I'm fine. Just allergies."

I walked into the grocery store, still completely shocked at who I just saw. I can't believe I saw him. I can't believe I saw Tom in person. I got so use to seeing him on the tube or the computer that I didn't know what to think! I didn't even really pay attention the small group of fans who had come over to say hi.

"Aww! Haley's so cute! I hope my baby is as cute as yours!"

I gave a small smile and said, "Oh uhh… thank you." And grabbed a cart. I only had a few items to get, but I couldn't hold Haley, and hold a basket at the same time. I sat Haley in the seat in front of the cart and began to push it into the store.

"Wait! Can we get pictures with you!" One cried, and was already digging around for her camera.

"Yea sure." I backed a few feet away from my cart and posed next to one of the fans.

"Can we have Haley in the picture too?"

I hesitated, "Um…" But then gave in. "Sure ok." I might as well get over that fact that Haley will_ never_ be able to live a normal life. I picked Haley up from the cart and placed her on my hip, positioning myself next to the fan once again.

Haley rubbed her eyes after the flash went off. "Bright!"

"I know baby." I nodded.

"Can I get one with you two?" Another fan asked.

"Sure." I moved next to her, ready to pose when Haley cried "No! No more!"

I turned my attention to Haley. "Why, what's wrong baby?"

"No more pictures!" She frowned and crossed her arms.

"But Haley, we've only taken one."

"No more!" She cried again.

I looked at the fans regretfully. "Sorry guys. Haley doesn't want to take pictures right now, but I'll still pose if you want me to."

I ended up taking pictures with six more fans, while Haley sat in the cart watching everything going on around her.

I was nearing the end of my list of things to get when I heard excited chatter in the next aisle over. Normally I wouldn't have cared about that, but the voice sounded very familiar. I pushed my cart around the corner and peered into the next aisle. My eyes nearly popped out of my head.

There was Bill, all made up with his new hair and new makeup. Instead of the usual black mane, it was now dreaded with long white ropey pieces hanging below where the black stopped. His flawless makeup looked even more flawless!

Beside him stood a very pretty Carol. Her auburn hair had now grown quite a bit, and had reached her waist. The makeup she wore looked amazing! A few years back, her makeup was just eyeliner on the top lid with some mascara. Now it was a very dark, smokey eye look. I'm guessing Bill helped her on that. It really brought out her blue eyes, which I was jealous of.

Bill and Carol, who also had a bodyguard with them, were standing in the candy aisle trying to decide what to get. I smiled, remembering Bill's love for candy.

"Candy mommy!" Haley squealed. I broke my attention from watching the two and focused on Haley. "We'll get some when we're in the checkout aisle ok?" They must have heard me, because as soon as I finished speaking, the two slowly turned to look in my direction.

It was suddenly very quiet until Bill gasped, "Sadie!" and broke into a run, pulling me into a big hug. "Oh my God, Sadie!"

Carol ran up next to him and waited for Bill to let go, before pulling me into another hug. "I missed you!"

When the two finished hugging me, I let out a quiet, "Hi." First I see Tom, now I run into Bill and Carol. What's next?

"Are- are you ok?" Bill asked and crossed his arms, frowning at my shyness.

"Yea um… I'm fine. I just can't believe I'm standing in front of you guys. It's been… years."

"Mommy! He has white ropes in his hair!" Haley excitedly pointed out.

Bill, being distracted by Haley, squatted down to her height near the cart, and leaned his head towards Haley's hand. "Wanna touch it?"

Haley tentatively reached out and touched the dreads, only to start squealing as soon as her hand met them. "Ooo!" Haley grabbed one and began to tug, hard, on it. "Ropes mommy!" I suddenly remembered a little girl a while back having the same reaction when Bill let her touch his hair.

"OW!" Bill exclaimed and reeled backwards, just missing the display of butterscotch candies.

I cracked a grin and gently grabbed Haley's hand. "Haley, we don't pull people's hair ok?" She nodded and watched as Bill stood up, dusting himself off.

"Your kid has quite a grip." Bill said, surveying himself for any damage and then suddenly stopped to stare at Haley. "Wait a second… Oh my God! This is Haley!" He got all excited and went back to being at Haley's height. "I'm Bill!" He held out his hand for her to shake. She looked at him perplexed, not quite what sure to do next.

"Haley." I grabbed Carol's hand, she caught on, and we shook hands. "Like this."

"Oh…" She placed her small hand in Bill's and shook it. He grinned and Haley started to laugh. "I'm doing it mommy!"

"Good job baby." I smiled and took a step near Bill. "Can you keep her occupied for a minute?"

"Of course!" Bill exclaimed and proceeded on making funny faces at Haley, which had her in a fit of laughter. It was attracting quite a lot of attention. When people finally noticed the "celebrities" that were in the store, they didn't waste a second taking out their phones and cameras. This is exactly what I didn't want, people photographing Haley. Because Bill Kaulitz was around, these pictures were for sure to end up on the front covers of all the gossip magazines.

I took Carol aside, away from the crowd of people surrounding my baby and Bill. "So how are you?"

"I'm good."

"And you and Bill?"

"We're still together." She smiled, but it was forced. I could see sadness in her eyes.

I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Are you two ok?"

"Yea." She nodded. "We're fine." She sent me another forced smile. Why didn't she want to talk? "You know how long it's been since I last talked to you? Forever! We need to fill each other in on our lives."

"I know!" But I didn't know how much I wanted to tell her. I think I'll keep the whole sleeping with Sean thing to myself. She doesn't need to know about that. In fact, no one needs to know actually. "You and Bill should come have dinner at my place tonight. Of course… if you're not busy."

"No we're not. We'll I'm never busy. I'm always tagging along with Bill, but today he has the day off. So yea, we'd love to come and have dinner."

"Good." I looked over at Haley and Bill and saw that even more people we're crowding around the two. The bodyguard was just stepping in when a lady tried to touch Haley. He grabbed the lady's arm and threw it to the side, yelling at everyone to back up. Behind Carol and I were others taking pictures of us. "I think we should go now." I rushed over to the cart and pushed through the crowd, hurrying to a checkout counter. Bill, Carol and the bodyguard were right behind me, throwing their items on the conveyer belt as well.

As soon as we were finished checking out, we practically ran out of the store and to our cars. Word had gotten out that we were there and now there wereTONS of fans and paparazzi outside. I quickly put my groceries in my trunk and picked up Haley from the cart. As soon as I had Haley buckled in her car seat, I turned to where Bill and Carol finally reached their car. I waved a quick good bye and jumped into my car, speeding out of the parking lot as the paparazzi snapped pictures.

I can honestly say I did not miss the paparazzi. I hadn't been swarmed like that in a long time. At least a year I think. They left me alone, as I had gotten "boring" and "uninteresting" since I stayed away from the public and didn't keep in contact with any celebrities. I wasn't really friends with the Jonas Brothers anymore. I mean yea, we still talk, but it's rare. They moved onto bigger and better things, and it was hardly possible to even say quick hello to them.

"Mommy who were all those people?" Haley asked. She was playing with the sticker that read "Thank you for shopping with us" that the bagger had given her.

"They like to take pictures of us."

"Why?"

"Because it's their job."

"Can that be my job too?!" She asked excitedly.

"Somehow I think that when you're older, they will still be taking pictures of you." Just what she needs. To be followed around everywhere she goes. I waited for a response that never came, so I grabbed my ipod and hooked up it to the speakers in the car. I picked a play list and pushed play. _Durch Den Monson_ filled my car. I smiled as Haley started to quietly sing with it, and joined her when the chorus hit. Surprisingly, Tokio Hotel was her favorite band to listen to. Yes, I played the German songs more often, but she quickly picked it up. Bill sang her to sleep at night, and was still singing when she woke up. Sometimes I would watch their live concert DVD's and Haley would sit next to me quietly, and other times jumping and singing to the music. She doesn't know that she is related to the guitarist, but I think she feels a connection with him. When he would show up on the screen or she would see a picture of him, she would stop whatever she was doing just to watch him. She told me that Tom was her "favorite" and asked me to have him over one day for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I laughed and told her that it was impossible, that I didn't know him.

"Haley, you know that guy with the snakes in his hair, the one you just met?"

"Mhmm."

"That was Bill, from Tokio Hotel, the one singing right now."

She stayed quiet, thinking about what I just said, and then she smiled. "Yay! Billy!" Her eyes then widened. "He knows Tomi!"

"Damn it. Why'd I just say that?" I mumbled. "Um… yea he does."

"Maybe Billy can invite Tomi over for sandwiches!" She exclaimed.

I glanced at her. "Maybe." I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I looked at the caller ID and then turned on my blue tooth. "Hey Bill!"

"Hey Sadie!"

"Bill!" Haley screamed from the back.

"Haley!" Bill laughed. "Hey, Carol just told me about tonight. What time do you want us there? Oh and um… I was wondering if you wanted me to invite T-" I clicked off the blue tooth so fast, I thought I broke a nail. I grabbed the phone and held it up to my ear, even though that was illegal.

"I'm sorry, repeat that."

"I was wondering if you wanted me to invite… Tom." His voice was hesitant.

"Oh… uh… Sure I guess…" Things would probably be really awkward if Tom was there.

"I don't have to invite him Sadie…"

"No. I want you to. I haven't seen or heard from him in quite a while. Might be nice to re-connect with you guys."

"I'll ask him but… don't be surprised if he doesn't show. He's been kinda flakey lately. Always off with some gro- never mind!" Bill stopped himself before he could say it. It's not like I didn't know though. Of course he would be sleeping with groupies! It's what he does.

"It's ok… It'll be fun with just you and Carol." Although part of me REALLY wanted to see Tom again. "I'll see you guys tonight."

"Haley, Bill is coming over for dinner tonight." I said as soon as I hung up.

"Yay! Is Bill bringing Tomi?!" Her face full of excitement.

"Oh… uh… he probably won't be able to come. Very busy. Lots of activities going on."

"Oh." Her face saddened. "Ok…"

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**Finally! An update! Sorry for the wait guys! I had a bit of trouble putting this chapter together, but I finally managed. Sorry if isn't all cliffhanger dramatic. **

**For those of you who didn't read my past update, I know have a twitter account JUST for my stories. I will be updating on when a new chapter is going to be, or about to be posted. I'll answer any questions you guys have for me there. And it will be MUCH EASIER to contact me from there if you have any urgent questions. Yea, so follow me! For those of you who don't know, you don't need a twitter account to access my page. **

**My twitter = http:// twitter. com/TKaulitzfanfics (take out spaces)**

**Thanks for all the LOVELY reviews. I read each one and take into consideration any of the ideas you guys throw out there. They really make my day. :) **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Haley fell asleep by the time we got home, so I took her inside and put her in her crib. She was quickly out growing it and one day, she would need her own big girl bed. I wasn't too excited for that day to come. I was fine with her sleeping in her crib, or sleeping with me. Big girl bed meant that she was getting older.

My mom wasn't home from work yet, so I took up the liberty to clean up the kitchen. It was sort of a mess. We hadn't washed dishes in two days, so it was definitely piling up. About an hour later, just as I had pressed _start_ on the dishwasher, the doorbell rang. I dried off my hands with a dishtowel and made my way to the door.

"Hey Babe." Sean said as soon as I opened the door.

I stared at him. "What are you doing here?"

"You know why I'm here." He winked.

"Sean, it's been like a day. You said you would be back in a few days."

"Yea well, I changed my mind." He smirked and brushed by me. "Consider yourself lucky."

"Sean." I sighed. "I really… don't…"

"It'll be quickie." Sean closed my front door and grabbed my hand. "I promise."

***

Sean's hand glided up and down my theighs, his other hand tangled in my hair. His kiss was rough and full of lust, no ounce of love anywhere. He pushed my back against the wall, the bed underneath us creaked. I had helped him take off his shirt earlier and was now working on the buckle of his pants. I just wanted to get it over with, and was glad when his hands started attacking my pants too. He quickly slid mine off, but then got off me so he could get his own pants off. With both pants on the floor, his hands quickly reached around me and unhooked my bra. They were rough and calloused, nothing like Tom's smooth hands. He tugged at my panties and sat up a little, so they would come off easily. When Sean wanted sex, he really got to work. We had only been in the room for about 5 minutes. Talk about foreplay, yeah right. He just wanted to get right to it, no matter how much it hurt me.

"Mommy!" Haley screamed from my room. "Mommy!" I could hear the tears in her voice.

"Oh no." I quickly pushed Sean off me and threw on a shirt that I had discarded earlier.

"Babe!" Sean scrambled after me as I padded down quickly to my room. Haley was standing up in her crib, clutching the bar, tears streaming down her face. She outstretched her arms, and made grabby motions when she saw me.

I picked her up from the crib and she buried her head in my chest. "Haley. Sh… Mommy's here." I cooed, slightly rocking her.

"Babe. Come on. She'll be fine." He reached to grab my arm, but I stepped away.

"No. I'm taking care of Haley right now." Who was still sobbing. "Did you have a nightmare baby?" She nodded her head with a sniff. "Poor baby."

"Yes, come on!" He begged. "Let's finish what we started!"

"Can't you see I'm taking care of my daughter right now?" I snapped.

"Well how about you take care of _my _needs first, and then you take care of hers?"

I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't work like that Sean.

"Come on Sadie! We were really close!" I bet if he were desperate enough, he would get down on his knees and beg.

I shook my head. "Forget about it Sean."

"But babe!" He whined and clung to my arm.

I flinched and pushed him away. "Just go home. I don't really have time for this anyway."

"What?" Sean cracked a grin. " You have all the time in the world."

"No actually, I don't. I have company coming over in a few hours."

"Are you serious?" He started to laugh. "Ms. Sadie Hawkins is actually having _people_ over?" He laughed only because I never had people over. After Haley was born, I stopped going to see people, and I stopped having people over.

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No." He smiled. "Who are the lucky people that actually get to come over?"

"Carol and Bill Kaulitz."

He stopped laughing and his face became stone. "What?"

"I ran into them at the store today, and invited them over for dinner."

"Sadie you haven't seen them in almost _three_ years!"

"Which is why they are coming over. " Haley was still sobbing, but wasn't crying out loud anymore.

"No Tom?"

I shook my head. "I don't know…"

"Well how about I stay over for this lovely dinner party?" He smiled again.

"Umm… how about no. You'll ruin the whole thing." I left my room, still holding Haley, and entered the guest room. "Here." I threw his shirt and pants at him.

Sean snatched them before they hit him in the face, but just dropped them on the floor. "Come on Sadie. We're almost done. I swear we can climax in under five minutes!"

"No Sean! Now put on some clothes. You're not descent enough for Haley."

"I still got my boxers on… that are itching to come off…"

"Now Sean!"

He grumbled unhappily, but did what I said. "Happy?"

"Very." I sat Haley down on an empty chair. "Mommy will be right back ok?" She nodded and wiped at her watery eyes.

As soon as Sean finished getting his shoes on, I walked him to the door.

"Sadie please…" He whispered.

I shook my head. "No. Not today." Sean frowned. "Look, ugh… just come by tonight ok? Around two-ish."

A smile instantly grew. "You got it babe." He kissed me and instantly his tongue was in my mouth. This guy does not waste anytime.

"Sea- Sean." I pushed him away. "Save it for tonight."

***

I had told my mom about my plans for tonight, not about Sean though, and she was very happy and excited to help me get ready.

I let my mom do all the cooking while I cleaned up the rest of the house. I hadn't realized how many toys Haley had until I had to pick them all up. She was sitting on the couch watching Dora the Explorer. Basically it's about a cartoon named Dora. She has adventures in each episode, and along the way she teaches the kid Spanish.

I had texted Bill because, again, I failed to tell him what time to come over. It was now nearing seven and my house was finally ready. I stayed in my clothes that I was wearing earlier, but put Haley in another cute dress. She had gotten her other one all wrinkly when she was napping earlier.

My mom and I greeted Carol and Bill at the door. Hugs and kisses were exchanged. My mom couldn't get over how much Bill had changed. She still thought he was an adorable boy, which made him turn a bit red.

"Bill!" Haley screamed and ran towards Bill when he entered the living room.

"Haley!" He smiled and scooped her up, turning towards Carol. "This is Carol."

"Hi." Haley waved and then began to play with Bill's hair.

"Ow. Don't tug so hard." He laughed and carried her, following my mom into the dining room.

I exchanged glances with Carol. "He really likes her huh?"

"Yea. All he could talk about in the car today was how he was excited to finally be an uncle." Carol smiled.

"No Tom huh?"

She shook her head. "No… He was kinda busy all day today, if you catch my drift, and didn't really want to go out."

"Not even for me?" I asked sadly.

"He'll come around Sadie. I know it." She said assuredly.

"I highly doubt that. Apparently, the groupies are more important then I am." As much as it would pain me, and bring back old feelings, I really wanted to see Tom again. I wanted to feel his arms around me, and his lips on mine.

"Come on Sadie! Don't let him get you down. Ok?"

***

At dinner we caught up on each other's lives. Bill's life was just as crazy as usual, maybe even more. They won 14 more awards in the last two and a half years. I was definitely mega proud of the band. Georg was engaged, and Gustav was still hanging around bars, trying to avoid angry boyfriends. Tom was still sleeping around.

I asked Bill about his hair and he said, new album, new hair. He and Carol got back together again, about 6 months after the public fight. Carol said they realized how much they loved each other and that they couldn't live without the other. Bill smiled at her and took her hand, but it looked forced. I gave Carol a strange look, and she mouthed 'later.'

"You know what I just realized? How much Haley looks like you and Tom!" Bill sat his fork down to really get a good look at Haley. "She really looks like you two!"

"Thank you." I smiled. "I think so to."

"Wait! That means she looks like me too!" He said excitedly. "Awesome!"

It just hit Haley. "I look like Tom?"

"Yea! Because he's –" I threw the closest thing that was next to me, a roll, and threw it at Bills head. "What the hell…" I sent him a knowing look, which had Bill confused.

"Ix-nay on the Omi-tay." I said through gritted teeth.

"Oh…." Bill nodded "Ok."

"I want that!" Haley pointed at Bill's vanilla pudding.

"You want to try it?" Bill asked.

"Yea!" Haley clapped and opened her mouth. He dipped his spoon in the pudding and then brought it to Haley's mouth.

"I don't know if she's going to like it… She's more of a chocolate girl."

"Nonsense. Of course she'll like-" Bill screeched as Haley spit the pudding all over him.

"Haha." I laughed. "Maybe not!" The rest of the table laughed with me.

"My shirt! My shirt!" Bill exclaimed, starting to freak out.

"How much was that?"

"Only $400!" He stood up from the table and started wiping himself off.

"For a t-shirt?"

"It's a one of a kind Bill Kaulitz shirt." He said snobbily and wiped the rest off.

"It's just pudding Bill. I think you'll shirt will survive." Carol grabbed his hand and made him sit back down.

We looked back at Haley to see she a giant grin painted on her face. "Yucky." Bill glared at her, but then his face softened when she started to giggle.

***

I sat in the living room with Carol; both had coffee mugs in our hands. Haley was upstairs with Bill, showing him all her toys.

"What's going on with you and Bill?" I asked and sipped my black coffee.

She shrugged. "Nothing."

"Yea right. That smile between you and he at dinner, was _so_ forced."

"Was it?"

"Yea… What's going on?"

"I don't know." Carol sighed. "Things are a little complicated for us."

"Like how?" I took another sip.

"Like having to be with someone you don't really love, just so you can feel "loved."

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**Sorry guys! I would have have this up WAY EARLIER, but was being stupid and not letting me upload anything! At least it's up now :) **

**Are Carol and Bill being forced to be in a relationship together??**

**Yup, that's chapter 4. I think I'm going to be posting once a week. I want to try and post sooner, but we'll see. **

**I hope you liked it. We should see Tom… soon… **

**How awesome and amazing was the "Automatic" video? I loved it! Bill just keeps getting even more beautiful. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Wait, what?" I sat my cup of coffee on the table, awaiting a long explanation.

"The only reason Bill and I are together is because we have to be." Carol sighed. "What guy would want to go out with a girl that was with one of the most famous guys in the world, and ended up being called a whore in the end? They wouldn't think I'm faithful or trustworthy since I cheated on _Bill Kaulitz_."

"But you didn't cheat on him."

"Exactly! No one believes me though! They think if I cheat on Bill Kaulitz, I will have no problem cheating on someone else!" Carol took a quick sip of her coffee. "Those six months that I wasn't with Bill, was really hard for me. My friends and family called me to tell me how stupid I was, and how they couldn't believe I would do something like that. I swear, my dad only cared because he wanted me to marry Bill. Well actually marry him for his money, because you know Bill's rich and all…"

"But you don't care about that…"

"No, not at all! I don't care about his money! I'm back with Bill because no other guy really wants me. I tried getting together with other guys who didn't know about my dating past, but somehow they found out and dumped me. There was this one guy however, he was so sweet and knew that I had dated Bill. I told him it all a lie, that I had never been with any other guy, and he believed me. We were together for three months, until he was enlisted into the army. He was to be gone for five years, and didn't think it would be fair for to wait for him for that long, so he broke up with me."

I frowned. "I'm so sorry Carol."

She shrugged. "I was sad for a bit, but when Bill had come back around I thought my problems were over with. Nick had talked to him and told him what _really_ happened. Nick apologized to me, and Bill called me asking if I would forgive him and take him back."

"And you did."

"Of course! Bill was the only guy I ever really wanted! As soon as I had hung up with Bill, I had made arrangements to fly over to Germany to be with. The first year we were back together was great. I loved being with him and traveling to all the different countries, until one day, things changed." I shifted on the couch, trying to get into a more comfortable position. I nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"I don't really know what happened… It's like I woke up one day and my feelings for Bill had completely changed. I was no longer _in_ love with him, I just loved him, ya know the way you love your best friend. Like that. I think Bill was feeling the same way too. We didn't hold hands as much, or kiss or whatever. We kinda just grew apart."

"Then why are you with him? Why waste your time acting like a couple?"

"Things are better now. Well… it's more like a friends with benefits type thing." I swallowed. I knew all about that. "You know how Bill has trust issues?" I nodded. "He hasn't really found another girl, another girl he can trust. He figures that maybe… one day we'll be in love again…"

"You two shouldn't have to pretend to be in love if you really aren't! Do you think your fooling the fans, because you sure as hell aren't fooling me!" I scoffed and grabbed my coffee again.

"Sadie, you're different. You actually know us."

"So!" I slammed my coffee back down on the table. "You're forcing yourselves to be unhappy with each other when you can be happy with someone else!"

"Whoa!" Carol slightly moved away. "Why are you getting pissed?"

"I don't get it!" I jumped up from the couch. "Why do you do this if you don't like it?"

"Sadie, what the hell-"

"Why do you put yourselves through this! Why don't you just drop each other and go find someone you're actually happy with!" I screamed. "I know they're out there!"

Carol sat her coffee down and stood up. "Sadie, get a grip! This isn't happening to you! Stop getting so worked up over it!"

"I'm not getting worked up over it!" I stamped my feet, which caused me to hit the coffee table, spilling my drink everywhere. "Ugh!"

"Sadie!" Carol grabbed my arms. "Calm down"

"Can you just go?" I breathed. She gave me a strange look. "Just go!"

She eventually let go, and with a sigh, left the room. "Bill! Let's go!" Carol called.

Bill showed up at the top of the stairs with a frown. "Why? Haley was showing me her Barbie collection."

"Sadie's a bit upset right now and wants us to leave."

"Oh… Well I'm sure I can talk her out of it."

"No." Carol shook her head. "I'm sure you'd make it worse."

I walked up to Carol and stood next to her by the stairs. "She's right."

"Umm… ok!" Bill had seen the look in my eyes and decided it _was _time to leave. "I'm going to go say bye to Haley."

Carol turned to me. "I'm sorry if I said anything-"

"Whatever." I grumbled and looked at the floor. Bill came down the stairs with Haley in his arms, giggling as Bill purposefully bounced his way down.

"Bye Haley." Bill hugged her and put her down.

I watched as Haley latched onto his leg, and with a smile said "Bye Billy!"

"Can you say bye Carol?" Bill asked.

Haley let go of Bill's leg and waved. "Bye Carol!"

She smiled and waved back. "Bye Haley."

The two adults then looked at me. "See ya later Sadie." Carol mumbled and walked to the door with Bill.

I nodded at Bill, who looked back at me right before walking out the door. "Bye Sadie."

I sighed as soon as they were gone and picked up Haley. "Come on. It's time for a bath then bedtime."

"Yay! Bath time!" Haley squealed.

I sat on the closed toilet seat, watching Haley splash around in the tub, the water only coming up a little past her elbows. She had Barbie and Ken in the water with her, and was pretending Barbie was a mermaid. Ken wanted to save her, but he couldn't swim. I don't think Barbie needed saving though, she was a mermaid after all.

I don't know why what Carol had said earlier upset me so much. Maybe it was because I was living through the same thing? Maybe if I yelled and knocked some sense into her, it would change my situation as well? Why was I messing around with Sean if I didn't have to? I could save my self the emotional pain that came after the sex if I didn't do it all. I could save myself from explaining to Haley as to why I didn't tuck her into bed at night. I could go out into the world and find someone who actually wanted me for me, and not for my body. I had him though… he just seemed unreachable. Or at least I thought I did, I thought he wanted me for me, but under the current circumstances… I wasn't so sure. There has been so many days that I wanted to scream and cry and just beg for Tom to come back. To save me from feeling like this. He had chosen his path though. Groupies were his thing, relationships weren't.

I dried Haley off from her bath, got her into some jammies, combed her hair and put her to bed. I had just kissed her on the cheek when my mom came into my room.

"It was really nice seeing Bill and Carol again." She smiled and sat at the foot of my bed. I turned down the lights, until it was pretty dim, and sat down next to her. "You wish Tom was here too huh?"

I nodded and shrugged, "He had more important things to do.

"What could be more important for him then seeing you and his daughter?"

"Apparently the groupies."

"Honey…" She lightly squeezed my hand. "Things will work out. You'll see."

"I doubt it."

"Good night honey." She squeezed my hand once more and got up, closing the door behind her. I crawled into bed and looked at the time. Just one more hour.

***

I let out all my frustrations, and anger out that night with Sean. As soon as the boy had shown up, I grabbed him without a word spoke, and was ripping off his clothes the minute the door was shut to the guest room. He laughed and told me to slow down, but as soon as I did, he frowned and said he was just kidding. I was so angry the way my life had turned out and Sean was the perfect guy to "vent" to.

As soon as the deed was done, Sean got up and left, and that's what bugged me the most. He never actually stayed. As soon as his needs were satisfied he was gone, leaving me alone, and naked in the dark room. I don't even know how I let it get this far. How did I come to having casual sex two or three times a week with Sean? The guy who raped me.

***

"Sadie. Sadie!" My mom shook me awake. I opened my eyes to see that I was in my room, Haley still asleep in her crib.

"What mom?" I wanted to bury my head back in my pillow and go back to sleep.

"Look whose outside."

"Wha…"

"Just come on!" She yanked me out of bed; thankfully I had thrown on a long t-shirt, one of Tom's t-shirts in fact, and pushed me to the window. Sitting in the driveway, parked in his car was a Mr. Tom Kaulitz.

My jaw dropped. "How'd he get through the gates?"

"Bill must've given him the code."

"Am I supposed to go down there?"

"He's been sitting there for an hour."

"And you're just _now_ telling me?" I couldn't believe it. Tom Kaulitz was actually in my driveway. My breathing slowed as I placed my hands on my window and looked out.

"I thought he would have come in by now, I guess not."

"I need to talk to him!" I ripped myself from the window, and threw on some sweat pants that were lying near my bed.

"Are you sure you want to do this honey?"

I checked my hair in the mirror and grabbed a brush. "I've never been more sure of anything." This was it. This was my chance to actually talk to, and maybe get back together with Tom! I finished my hair and drew on a little eyeliner. My heart beat loud and fast as I ran down the stairs and to the door. As soon as the door had opened, our eyes connected, and my breathing had slowed. His eyes snapped down to the steering wheel, as I made my way over to him.

I reached the car, and pulled the handle, letting myself in. As soon as the door shut, my heart started beating even louder then before. I bet he could hear it too. I nervously played with my fingers as I took a quick peek at him. "You changed the color." I could've slapped myself! I meant to say that in my head.

"What?" Our eyes met again, and I felt myself tremble.

"Your lip ring. It's… it's black." I quickly looked away, embarrassment all over my face.

"Yea… I needed a change…" He whispered, his eyes never leaving me. "Is that my shirt?"

Crap he noticed! "Umm… yea." I nodded reluctantly. He didn't respond, but just kept staring at me. "What are you doing here?" I finally asked after three long minutes of silence.

"To be honest…" Tom sighed. "I don't know.

"Did Bill make you come?"

"Sort of. I kinda wanted to come anyway."

"Why?" I suddenly felt a bit bolder. "So you can sit in my driveway all day?"

"No."

"Well then why? It couldn't have been to see me. It's been almost three years now. Why should you care about me?"

"Sadie, I never stopped caring."

"Then why are you coming back now?" I looked him straight in the eye, now just noticing his new black braids. "Why after three years?"

"Sadie, It was complicated. I wanted to come back but-"

"You could've called! Written me a letter emailed, myspace, something! But no! You couldn't even do that."

"Sadie-"

"Was I that unimportant to you that you couldn't even leave me a stupid text message?" Tom didn't say anything as he stared at me intently. I felt like his eyes were reading into my soul. As much as I wanted to stop, I felt myself leaning in towards him. I screamed in my head that I should stop, but my lips had another plan. Within five seconds Tom's lips had met mine and was drawn out into a soft kiss.

I pulled away and stared up into his eyes. "Tom…" He shook his head and kissed me again, this time a bit more forceful, but I didn't mind. His arm reached around me and grabbed the lever that pushed my seat back. Tom skillfully climbed over the seats; our lips still connected, and practically straddled me. My arms snaked around his neck as I opened my mouth, our tongues danced. I felt his soft, warm hands reach under my shirt and touch my back. I shuddered, but was suddenly pulled back into reality.

"What the hell?!" I pushed Tom off me, and pulled my shirt down.

Tom hit the top of the car pretty hard, and was rubbing his head. "What the fuck Sadie?!"

"Don't ever do that again!" I growled and sat my chair up, pushing Tom to his side of the car. "You think that by finally showing up, everything is ok? Well it's not! The last thing I want to be doing is kissing you!" I used the back of my hand to wipe of my mouth roughly. I could think of plenty of other _things _I'd rather be doing with Tom. Things that involved my room, whip cream…

"I'm sorry! I couldn't help it!" Tom slumped back down in his seat with a scowl on his face. "I just…" His face softened. "I just really missed you."

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**Why didn't you call Tom if you missed her so much?**

**There's chapter 5! **

**I hope you guys liked it. Tom's finally back! **

**For those of you who haven't, yall should check out my one shot. It's sad. Yes, I know Bill's name isn't really William. It just worked for it. It's on this account. **

**Your reviews make me smile. Love you guys. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I scowled, "Whatever! You just missed getting into my pants!"

"That's not true." He whispered, resting his hand on mine.

I ripped it away and crossed my arms, glaring straight into his eyes. "Tom… you obviously didn't miss me… or else you would have been back years ago."

"I tried-"

"What the fuck?! No you didn't! You didn't try at all! While I was being grilled by the media 24/7 and then taking care of _our_ daughter," He flinched at the mention of Haley, "You were out touring with the band and fucking around with other girls!"

"I was not fuc-"

"Oh please Tom! As soon as I was out of the picture, you went back to your old self! Having groupie over groupie, becoming the sex God again…" I narrowed my eyes. "If you're looking for a quick fuck, you're not going to find it here."

His eyes saddened. "Sadie I-" Movements from Haley banging on the front window of my house caught our eye.

"Mommy!" She mouthed, hitting the window with her little fists. My mom appeared and swooped Haley into her arms, walking to the front door and opening it.

Tom's body stiffened at the sight of his daughter. "Haley…" He let out a quiet breath as his face went from calm, to almost terrified. The boy shook himself and looked down at his steering wheel. "Sadie, get out."

I glanced at Tom. "What?"

Haley suddenly started yelling. "TOM! TOM! TOM!" She had spotted him.

Tom shook his head even more. "Sadie, get out _now."_

"Tom! Tom!" She struggled to get out of the tight grip my mom had on her.

He squeezed his eyes shut. "Sadie, I mean it."

"But Tom-"

Haley had managed to get out of my mothers arms, and was now running towards the car.

"SADIE, GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY CAR!"

I jumped at the sudden outburst. Tom's hand tightened around the steering wheel, as he started the car with his other hand. I reached out and placed my hand on his. "Tom…" He glared at me out of the corner of his eye, and I knew it was time go.

"Tom! Tom!" Haley reached the car and was now banging on the car door. I opened it carefully, not wanting to hurt Haley, and shimmied out of the small space. As soon as I had shut the door, the engine roared to life, and I quickly picked up Haley, not wanting her to get in the way. "Tom!" He backed out of the drive way so fast; I swear I heard his tires screech. With one last glance, he sped away.

"Tom! Tom! No!" Haley's eyes filled with tears. "Make him come back mommy! Make him come back!"

"I'm sorry baby…" I whispered, still frozen in my spot. He was really here. Tom was really here. And just like that, he was gone again, out of my life.

"No! TOM!" Haley yelled at the top of her lungs, choking out sobs now. "Come back! Mommy why did he leave? I want Tom!" She cried, and threw her arms around my neck.

"Shh…" I rubbed her back. "It's ok…"

"I want Tom…" She sniffed, burying her head into my shoulder.

"As do I."

***

Haley had fallen asleep on the couch. The poor little tyke was miserable. The one boy she really wanted was here, and then gone in an instant. I felt for her, because she doesn't understand what is going on. She doesn't understand that her own father doesn't even want to see the sight of her. She wants so much to be with him though, as should any child her age. What little girl would not want to be with her father? Or more importantly, what father would not want to be with his little girl? A father who does not want responsibilities. A father that only cares about what he wants, and not for the wants of the life he helped create.

Tom was right there. Two and a half years of waiting, and he was right there. The boy I had once loved, now a man, but a man that I had no love for anymore. He thinks he can come back after years, and everything's ok? Hell no. He walked out on me then, and he just did it again. I can't love someone who runs when responsibility appears. I need him to be there for me all the time, but obviously Tom doesn't want to do that. He doesn't want the joys of being a parent, of actually loving someone.

I felt like breaking down and crying hysterically, but I couldn't. I had to be strong for Haley, show her that Tom is not important, and we can get along just fine with out him, just like we had been doing. I knew that was a lie though. I knew that my life would not be complete if I didn't have him. It hurt me to think that I may never have a future with him. He was my best friend, and if I can't have him as my boyfriend, I would gladly settle down for that.

I leaned back in my chair as I lazily scrolled through the Tokio US forum. I had just clicked on the _News_ sections when I read the first thread. _Sadie and Bill reunited!... Where's Tom?_ I quickly went to the page and was met with pictures of Bill, Carol, Haley and I at the grocery store. One was of Bill pulling me into a giant hug, another of Haley pulling Tom's hair, and the last was the four of us talking, well _three_ of us talking.

The fans were going absolutely nuts at "the return of Sadie!" Some were pleased to see me with Bill again, others were less then pleased. A lot of them were asking why Tom wasn't there, and most couldn't come up with explanation until someone had posted a picture of Tom was his arm around a girl, security nearby. They came to the conclusion that he was with her that day instead of with Bill and Carol. I had no idea who she was but apparently the fans did. I read some things like 'Oh, he's with that bitch again.' 'That girl is such a skank.' 'Wasn't she seen with him a few days ago?' 'Ya know I heard their fuck buddies. I wouldn't be surprised if that was true.' I wouldn't be surprised either. Her choice of clothing, well lack there of, was just screaming "Tom! Just fuck me now!"

There were a few fans that expressed how happy they were to see me with him, and that we don't lose contact again. I never said to anyone that I stopped talking to the boys, but I guess it was pretty obvious when the pictures stopped showing up. I scowled at a fan that stated that she was happy I wasn't around anymore. She said the boys could finally go out and hang around other girls without having me to wine and complain that they weren't hanging around me. I don't care if the boys hung around with other girls. The girls were only temporary. I was on tour with the boys, and I was their best friend, I'd get my time with them. Well… there is one boy that I would not have liked hanging around other girls, and I still don't.

My phone rang, and I quickly forgot about the forum answering it. "Hello?"

"Hey it's Bill. I just talked to Tom asking how it went, but apparently it didn't go very well…"

"Yea uh… no. It didn't." I sighed. "He left Haley crying her eyes out."

"What?!"

"As soon as Haley saw him, he raced out of the parking lot, not even saying goodbye or anything. Actually, he told me to get the fuck out of his car."

"Sadie, as brother to Tom, I would like to apologize for him. I am _so _sorry. I had no idea this was going to happen!"

I shrugged. "It's ok. I think Haley is feeling worse then I am, seeing that her hero totally ignored her."

"Why don't we go out to dinner tonight? Just you, me and Haley."

I glanced back at Haley who had just shifted in her sleep. "Just the three of us?"

"Yea. Catch up with each others lives."

"There's not much to tell…"

"I still would like to have dinner with you."

"What about Carol?"

Bill stayed silent for a moment. "I'm sure it will be fine."

"But won't it be weird if people see us together without her? You know how everyone likes to gossip."

"Let them talk!" He scoffed. "And really, it's just dinner between two friends. Where's the harm in that?"

"I guess it would be ok…"

"Great! I'll pick you up at 7:30"

"Uh… all right then…"

"Bye Sadie." How is it going to be ok for me to just have dinner with Bill and no Carol? I understand that we're old friends, but Bill and Carol are in a "relationship", according to the media, it's going to be a little weird, and I know people are going to talk.

***

Bill, Haley and I were seated in a small room towards the back of Mimi's café. I had picked to go there because I like the French feeling of the place, and the paparazzi wouldn't be waiting for a celebrity to show up. Unfortunately someone had to call the paps, and within the five minutes we were there, they had shown up. They had to stay outside the building though. Bill's security was seated at a table just outside our room, to give us privacy.

"So," Bill took a sip of his white wine. "You said Haley cried when Tom ignored her?"

"Mhmm." I stirred my straw around my water cup. "She ran out to see him, but he didn't want to see her." Bill looked at me curiously. "Ya see… Haley has always been fond of Tom. My love for your music hasn't changed, so I thought I'd share it with Haley. She loves your music to and uh…" I looked down out of embarrassment. "Sometimes we watch the concert DVDs. Every time Tom comes on the screen or she sees a picture of him, she gets all excited and riled up. She even told me that one day we have to have him over for sandwiches." I looked up at Bill to see him grinning. "I don't know… she feels this connection to him, like she's drawn to him in a way."

Bill furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms. "She doesn't know that Tom is…" I shook my head. "Why?"

"Why would I tell her that the guy she absolutely adores is her father, but she'll never get to meet him? I think it's best she doesn't know…" Haley reached out for another crayon to color on the kiddie menu the hostess had given her.

"Don't you think that one day she's going to figure out? She'll be mad that you never told her! And look at her," We both glanced at the toddler. "She looks just like Tom and I! It's painfully obvious!"

"I'm surprised the media hasn't caught on yet…" Bill raised an eyebrow. "I'll tell her ok? One day, when she's old enough to understand why her father isn't around."

"Hopefully that day is soon."

I shrugged. "We'll see."

Our food arrived 20 minutes later. I had ordered a cup of French Onion soup and Fried Zucchini spears. Bill had gotten a big ceaser salad and plate of fries. We both decided to share our food with Haley. Bill had told me about what was going on between he and Carol. It was pretty much the same thing Carol told me. He loved her, a lot; he just wasn't _in_ love with her. He told me how hard it was to find a girl to trust, but then I said he had already found two. Carol and I. He really wanted things to work out with Carol, and hoped that someday the feelings the two had for each other would come back.

I tried to pay for my portion of the meal, but Bill wouldn't have it, and ended paying for it himself. I thanked and told him the next time we go out, _I'm_ paying for it.

Bill's security tightened around us as we made our way out of the restaurant. The paparazzi were everywhere, and I could barley see straight from all the flashes going off. I was very thankful for the bodyguards. We escaped the madness as soon as we were in Bill's car driving away, security followed in a separate car behind.

"Haley," I turned around in my seat to my see my daughter in a car seat. "Show Bill how good you are at singing _Durch Den Monson_."

"Ok!" She grinned, but it quickly fell as she tried to remember the words.

"I'll start." Bill said, his eyes on the road, starting at the chorus. "Ich muss durch den monsoon…"

"Hinter die welt, ans ende der zeit, bis kein regen mehr fallt." Haley joined Bill and the two finished the chorus together. It was cute to watch, and I wish I could have recorded it for you to see. Haley was overjoyed to be singing with him.

"Oh my goodness Haley! You are amazing! You should join our band!" Bill gushed, glancing at Haley with a big grin on his face. "How long did it take her to learn that?"

"Not long. She memorizes pretty quickly."

"And in German no less." We were stopped at a red light so Bill turned around to Haley. "High five!"

She giggled and 'high fived' him. "Again!" Bill was about to high five her, but Haley shook her head. "The song!"

"You want to sing _Durch Den Monson_ again?" He asked.

"Yea!"

Bill laughed and turned around just in time, the light had turned green. "Ok." The rest of the car ride home, I was forced to listen to the chorus over and over and over again, not that I minded though. Haley loved to sing with Bill.

Bill pulled up to my driveway, security staying out on the street, and hopped out of the car, racing to Haley to help her get out of the car. He carried her as I moved the car seat from Bill's car back into mine. My mom was inside to greet us and offered to get Haley ready for bed so I could say good night to Bill.

I clasped my hands together in front of me and looked up at Bill. "Thank you for the nice time tonight. I haven't done that in a while."

He smiled. "Yea it was fun. I really missed hanging out with you."

"You and Haley seem to really hit it off."

"Yea!" His eyes sparkled. "I really like her! I'm glad she's my niece! Thank you for giving birth to her!"

I laughed and went in for a hug. "You're welcome, and thanks again Bill."

"No problem." Bill gave me a tight hug. "We'll be seeing each other more often I hope?"

"It's a good possibility." I smiled when we pulled away.

"Good." He then leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. "Gute nacht Sadie." And with that he left. Butterflies started flapping around in my stomach and I felt warm with happiness.

* * *

**So I'm back!! Sorry for the long hiatus, but it was necessary! Even if I hadn't gone on hiatus I wouldn't have had time to write, but I'm glad I did though. I've had time to come up with ideas for this fic. I'm so glad to finally start writing again. I've really missed Sadie and I miss you guys! Hope you liked it! Next chapter about the same time next week!**

**Copyright © November 12, 2009**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I lay, exhausted, next to a naked Sean, our hearts beating fast. Haley was out running some errands with my mom so I invited Sean over. He dropped the video game he was playing and quickly made his way to my house.

He looked at me with hungry eyes, a smirk set on his lips. "How about another round?" He purred and rolled onto his side.

"What?" I laughed. "Since when do men recover so quickly?"

"Well God blessed some of us men, like me," He winked. "With a quick recovery time."

I smiled and pressed my body to his. "Apparently." Just as I was about to give him a quick kiss, my phone went off. "Ugh. Hold on." I rolled over and grabbed my phone that was lying on my dresser. I picked it up without even checking the caller ID. My eyes widened at the voice.

"Hey Sadie." Bill. "You busy right now?"

"Ugh…" I glanced over at Sean. "Not at the moment. Why?"

"Well Carol and I wanted to stop by real quick."

"Stop by?" I felt Sean ran two, rough fingers down my back, and then up again. It was giving me the chills. "STOP!"

"I'm sorry?"

"Not you Bill!" I glared at Sean, who casually smiled back. "I was talking to my ugh uh… cat!"

"You have a cat?"

"Yea! Fluffy! Yup uh…that's his name!" Sean silently laughed at my lame excuse.

"Fluffy? Well that's original…"

"Well you should see him! He's a big, fluffy, black cat!"

"A fluffy, black cat? I don't think I've ever seen one before! I definitely would like to see Fluffy!"

My voice dropped. "You wanna see him?" That made Sean laugh at loud, so I flipped him the bird.

"Yea… is someone there with you?"

"No! I'm uh… watching TV! Dora the explorer!" I really needed to come up with better excuses.

"Dora? Um… ok?" Bill paused. "Anyway, Carol and I'll be there in ten minutes so-"

I shot up in bed, pulling the covers around me. "Ten minutes?!"

"Yes. Is that ok?"

"It's fine. Ok. Gotta go. Bye!" I hung up and quickly started pushing Sean out of my bed.

"What are you doing women?!" He exclaimed as he tried to keep the covers around him. My room was rather chilly.

"Go home!"

"Why?"

"Bill is coming over!"

"So can I meet him then?" He braced himself so I couldn't push him anymore.

"What? No!"

"Aww why not?" He fake pouted.

"Bill doesn't know about you!"

"Well he can get to know about me."

"No!" I started pushing him again, but he didn't go anywhere.

"What, are you two together or something?"

"NO!" I whipped the covers off, exposing him to the cool air.

Sean quickly balled himself up. "What the hell Sadie?!"

"Get out Sean!"

"Sadie…"

"SEAN!"

He looked at me with sad eyes and then puckered his lips. "Not until you kiss me."

I sighed and ran a hand threw my damp hair. "Sean…"

"Kiss me."

"Ugh. Fine." I leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Satisfied, Sean got off my bed and started throwing his clothes on. "Hurry up." I urged him.

"You've got time."

"No I don't! I have to take a shower!"

"Just take one after." On went the shirt and boxers.

"Sean! I smell like sex!"

"And boy does that turn me on." He growled with a wink. After a few more attempts, I finally got Sean out the door and on his way. I then ran into my shower, prepared to take the quickest ones of my life.

The past few weeks have been some of the best in my life, well the past three years of my life. Bill and Carol had been around a lot lately. When Bill wasn't busy with band business, he was hanging out with me and playing with Haley. Haley had grown very fond of Bill, basically forgetting about Tom. Whenever I would mention his name Haley would scream his name, and then scream even louder when he showed up. Bill took us out for some day trips, and Haley was thrilled. We went to the zoo, got ice cream, played at the park and even rented out a movie theater. His security was there, but never close enough to interfere with our fun. The media has gotten pretty suspicious lately, seeing as how Bill is always with Haley and I, and hardly with the band and Carol anymore. Carol spent time with us too, but it was mainly just Bill.

I still haven't heard from Tom. No texts, no phone calls… nothing. I once tried to call to him, don't ask me why, but it went straight to voice mail. The boy was definitely avoiding me, and it only made me want to talk to him even more. I was on the Tom boards on the Tokio forum the other day and found out that girl I saw with him, was named Bianca. Apparently she has been seen with him a lot lately. I don't think they were dating, but there was definitely something going on between them. She just looked like a slutty whore to me.

I turned off the shower and quickly dried off, throwing my clothes on over my slightly damp skin and running a brush through my hair. I decided I didn't have time to deal with makeup, and made way downstairs just as the doorbell rang. Perfect timing.

"Hey Sadie!" Bill pulled me into a hug. "Did you just take a shower?" He wiped off the side of his face that had brushed against my hair. "Oo! And I want see your cat Fluffy!"

After explaining that "Fluffy" was scared of strangers and was hiding, Bill had invited me to his show that night. At first I said no. I didn't want to have to deal with Tom, and Bill knew that, but he wanted me to come anyway. If Tom wasn't going to be there I would have said yes instantly, but as I remembered how much fun their shows could be, I quickly started to consider it.

"Please Sadie!" Bill begged. "You haven't been to a Tokio Hotel show in forever! I need to know if we suck are not."

"Psh." I laughed. "You guys don't suck."

"You don't know that! If you come tonight then you will know if we suck or not."

"Bill I really don't…"

"PLEASE!" He was on his knees now.

I sighed and looked away, considering my options for the evening. Sit at home with Haley and watch Sponge Bob reruns or go to a rockin' concert. "Fine."

***

My mom had, surprisingly, offered to watch Haley so I could run off to a rock concert. I arrived twenty minutes before the show was 'scheduled' to start, but we all knew it was going to be at least another forty minutes. As soon as I walked into the venue, screams erupted. Apparently the Tokio fans had not forgotten about me. Bill had sent a security guard with me, and I'm glad he did, or I would have been mauled. The fans around me were freaking out and calling their friends to tell them that I had shown up. I guess I was a pretty big deal since I use to be best friends with Tom. I was a bit scared when the fans started pulling on my clothes. It had been so long since I had to deal with hysterical fans, that I had forgotten what it was like. My wonderful security guard escorted me to a special VIP section in the venue. It was about 15 rows back, but it was above the floor so that was ok with me.

The concert was amazing, as usual for Tokio Hotel, but I had no idea how much I missed watching the band perform live. I love the freedom you have to just sing your heart out. Nobody is watching you; they are all watching the four boys onstage. You can sing at the top of your lungs, and nobody will give you a second glance. Carol had joined me as soon as the group had started. We sang our hearts out together. I had forgotten how much passion the boys put into performing. They put their heart and soul into it, and never stopped pleasing the crowd. My feelings for Tom had even escaped, even if it was only for a little over an hour. I gasped when he first came out, the boy looked so damn good in purple. He never wore that around me.

I glanced at the flimsy backstage pass that hung around my neck and made my decision. All evening I had been trying to decide if I wanted to go backstage afterwards. Bill had given it to me back at my house.

"Come on." Carol smiled. "Ya know you want to."

"I do but…"

"Don't worry," She said and pulled me to the exit where a security guard was waiting. "It'll be fine."

***

Carol had walked in ahead of me so I had a few moments to collect my thoughts. Tom was in there, but that didn't mean I had to acknowledge him. He probably wouldn't even acknowledge me anyway. I took a deep breath and walked in. Carol was hugging Bill and they acted like a couple, probably just because there were a few groupies in here and they had to keep up their act. From what I heard from Bill, Georg had a girlfriend and she was back in Berlin, so he had no girls around him, but Gustav did and so did Tom. I didn't care about the two girls that surrounded Gustav, but I did care about that one girl that sat next to, I'm sorry, I mean _on top_ of Tom.

Tom hadn't noticed I had walked in, he was playing with his phone, but she did, Bianca. She eyed me for about two seconds, smirked and then brought Tom's lips to hers. I coulda slapped her, but I remained where I was standing. Tom still hadn't noticed me, most likely it was because the slut, I mean _Bianca_, had turned around and was now straddling him, grinding her hips into his. I could almost hear them swapping spit and sickened the hell outta me. I cleared my throat, but you know what the whore did? She took a hand off Tom's chest and flipped me off.

My jaw dropped and I was just about to yell some profanity, when Georg saw me. "Sadie? Oh my God!" He jumped off his stool and quickly strolled over to me, pulling me into a hug. Tom still didn't know I was in the room. "It's been way too long!"

I smiled, still very annoyed, and returned the hug. "It has been."

"Bill told me he invited you, but he wasn't sure if you were coming backstage." He led me over to a couch across from Tom and the hoe. I quickly scanned her and found that she was wearing almost nothing. A very _tiny_ tube top, and equally as tiny short shorts, with very strappy black heels. She had the average size body, not too small, not too big, just right, and I swear my eyes turned green. Why couldn't I look like that? My boobs were average, but my hips were huge! And I didn't have the long skyscraper legs she did. She looked perfect with her perfectly teased straight hair and dark Smokey makeup. Well I'm sure her make up is sort of smudged the way those two are going at it.

"Uh yea. I changed my mind." Gustav pulled himself from his lovely ladies and came over to say a quick hello.

"Tom." Bill had his arms around Carol's waist. "Tom!" Tom made a sound, which I think was of his way of responding, or maybe that was just the sound of their tongues slapping each other's. "Are you not going to greet our guest?"

"What guest?" Tom mumbled, his hands roaming all over the slutty hoe.

"Sadie." Tom heard my name and his eyes flew open, and almost threw the slutty whore hoe off him. I wish he did. That woulda been funny. Woulda made my night.

"Hi Tom." I stared him straight in the eyes, my face expressionless.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Bianca, the slutty whore hoe turned around and smirked.

Bitch.

* * *

**There ya go! There is chapter 7! I hope you liked it! Your comments/reviews are very much appreciated. Do you guys like Bianca?**

**I just want to thank **_**BurnedAfterReading**_** for paying attention and finding someone that was plagiarizing my work. Because she messaged, it sort of created a chain reaction and I was able to find **_**another**_** girl that was claiming my work. This is a very serious thing. I just want you guys to know I have a license on my work, so there is no point in stealing it, because I will find out and the consequences are not pretty. That was for the people who are stealing my work; I don't think any of my awesome readers would do that though. So yes, THANK YOU **_**BurnedAfterReading. **_**I am VERY grateful! And yall be sure to check out her fanfics!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"I invited her." Bill said through gritted teeth. He did not like the way Tom had spoken to me. I only nodded my head.

"Well… I'm surprised she actually showed up," Bianca started. "Seeing as some people doesn't want her around."

"Those people don't count. _I _ want her around," Carol flinched at Bill's words. "And that's all that matters."

"Well shouldn't the whole band be in agreement?" Tom's eyes hadn't left mine. "I mean if she is going to be spending time with you, shouldn't everyone want her around?" I felt like I had just been slapped in the face. Tears started to well up in my eyes. Tom didn't want me anymore. He didn't even want me in his presence.

Bill lightly pushed Carol away and took a step towards Tom. "There is no fucking reason," Bills a little mad now. "Why _you_ or anyone else in the band should not want Sadie around. If I got to choose who you hung out with, it would definitely not be _this_ slut." Bill nodded towards Bianca, whose jaw dropped and snapped her head to Tom.

Tom's grip around Bianca's waist tightened, his voice low. "Don't you talk about her like that."

I didn't want a fight to start, so I thought the best choice was to just leave. "Ya know what? I'm just going to go…"

"No." Bill reached out and took my hand. "You're hanging out with us tonight."

"Bill I can't, I-"

His eyes looked straight into mine. "Yes you can. It doesn't matter what the douche bag over their thinks."

"I can't because of Haley though…" Bills eyes turned into understanding. "I have to get home to her.

"Well, isn't your mom watching her? And besides, isn't she asleep now? It's almost 11:30."

"Yea but my mom-"

Bill put his hand in front of me, palm up. "Just let me talk to her. I'm sure she'll say yes."

"Uh…" I pulled out my cell phone and placed it in his hand. "Ok."

***

An hour later I was walking into _Club Ice Starz_ with the band and Carol. Tokio Hotel's security surrounded us as we slowly made our way through the hundreds of bodies to the VIP section upstairs. The people were so immersed in the lights, music and their drinks, that they didn't even notice us come in. I was glad that we were above all the craziness below. I didn't have to deal with the obnoxious music and bright, annoying lights in my eyes.

I sat next to Carol and Bill in the booth we were given. Tom and Bianca sat across from me and I knew I was going to be watching the two go at it all night. What's worse, I thought they were bad in the backstage room, now add alcohol to it and I'm pretty sure nothing would stop the two from getting it on right here.

I ordered a Screwdriver, rum and orange juice, and sipped it slowly. I wasn't here to get wasted, so the longer I take to finish my drink, the less drink's I'll buy. I had no idea what anybody else ordered, and I didn't really care either.

Bill had called and convinced my mom to let me stay out a little longer. Yes, I'm 21 now and am an adult, but I still lived with my mom, and she was watching my kid. I had to follow her rules if I ever wanted her to baby-sit for me again. Haley was fast asleep anyway, so my mom had no trouble letting me stay out later, so I guess Bill really didn't have to do much convincing. Although, she did say I better not come home wasted. Which is why I'm going to stick with _one_ Screwdriver tonight. If I let myself have two, then I'll be more open to having more, and more, and BAM, I'm gone.

Watching the girls that came with Gustav trying to flirt with Georg was very amusing. They would laugh and smile at anything he said, and then would put a hand on his shoulder or knee. Georg shrugged his shoulders and scooted closer to Carol, but somehow that didn't help very much. The girls would turn their attention back to Gustav, but sooner or later, it was back on Georg.

I lazily took a sip from my drink, rolling my eyes at the sight before me. Tom was leaning over Bianca in a major lip lock, one hand tangled in her hair, the other exploring underneath her shirt. That use to be me. Well we didn't make out in public, but in our alone time... I sighed, looking away, and took another sip of my Screwdriver. "I'm uh… gonna be right back…" I slid out of the booth just as Bill caught my wrist.

"Where are you going?" His other arm was thrown casually over Carols shoulder.

"Smoke break." I mouthed, before looking for the exit. I found one about twenty feet in front of me.

"You still smoke?" Carol didn't sound to happy.

"On rare occasions." I glanced at Tom and his make out partner. "This being one of them." I cleared my throat and walked towards the door, Carol shaking her with a roll of her eyes.

I opened the door slightly and looked around. It was an empty balcony with a few chairs here and there. I stepped outside and pulled out my box of Menthol Lights. Not very much wind blew so I didn't really have a problem with lighting my cigarette. I brought it to my lips and inhaled deeply before letting the smoke curl out slowly.

I did not want to be here. I did not want to have to sit and watch as Tom ran has hands and tongue, and everything else, all over another girl. It's just too hard to watch. I just wanted to be over him, but I knew I would never be completely. He was my first love, something I'll never forget.

"_Hi baby."_

_I looked up and turned from Tom's computer, he let me borrow it, as Tom walked in, closing the door to our hotel room. I was still trying to get use to the fact that I was actually Tom's girlfriend._

_I smiled. "Hi." I turned back to what I was doing, when I felt his strong arms embrace me from behind as he placed a kiss on my cheek._

"_Tom." I laughed as his arms loosed from around me. _

"_Come on." He now stood beside me, his arm outstretched. "Sit with me."_

_I took his hand with out a second thought and headed to our bed. He laid against the pillows as I lay down, my back to his chest. His arms found their way around me again and pulled me close. Warm lips grazed my neck as butterfly kisses were laid._

_I smirked and turned to face him. "Is there something you wanted hon?" Besides the obvious._

"_No." He gave me a quick kiss. "Sometimes I just like to hold you." I stared at him for a long minute before turning back around and snuggling back into his arms._

"_Ya know," Tom started after a few moments of comfortable silence, "I never really believed in true love. Well… until I met you." Butterflies erupted in my stomach. "You've been there, the whole time, for the last three years… and I never knew it. I'm glad now, now that I know, although I wish I could've known earlier."_

"_The feeling is definitely mutual Tom." I turned around to face him again. "I love you."_

"_I love you too." Tom closed the gap between our faces; making me melt with his soft, gentle kisses._

I blinked back the tears as I took another drag from my smoke. I would do anything to have that conversation with him again. To love and be loved was definitely something I missed. I have no inkling as to what that is anymore. What I had with Sean… I had nothing with Sean. Just pure lust, no love there. I wasn't even lusting after Sean though. I was just doing the horny man a favor.

The back door opened, revealing Bill and a box of cigarettes.

"So… you still smoke huh?" I nodded towards the pack of Camels in his hand.

"On occasion." He winked and pulled a smoke from the box. "Can I have a light?" I threw him my dark blue lighter, just as he brought the cigarette to his lips to light. "Thanks." He tossed it back and I put it in my back pocket.

"How'd you get away from Carol?" I flicked the ash off the end of my cancer stick.

"Not very easily." The smoke poured from his mouth.

I took another drag. "Still against them huh?"

"Oh yea."

"I bet she hates me right now."

He laughed. "Possibly.

I finished my cigarette a few minutes later before his was done and decided to light another. "Thanks for inviting me tonight."

"No problem." He paused. "Ya know… Tom isn't usually like this."

"Hmm?"

"Yea, Bianca is always with him and their usually kissing and stuff, but that's normally just it. None of these heated make out sessions in front of everyone." Bill placed the cigarette at his side, the smoke curling upward.

Bill was telling the truth. When I was with Tom, every once in a while we would kiss in public, but _not_ the way he was kissing Bianca! "It's cool… I guess." I brought the smoke towards my lips, but then dropped my hand. I suddenly wasn't feeling it anymore. "Who is this Bianca chick anyway? What is she to Tom?"

"I guess uh…" He shrugged, "You could call her Tom's head slut."

"He has more then one?"

"Yea… Tom, as you know, has a very big selection of women to chose from, and occasionally he does. But most of the time, he always goes back to Bianca… I wouldn't say they are in a relationship but I guess they are more then fuck buddies… maybe just good friends?"

"Friends? Tom is actually friends with that bitch?" My cigarette looked appealing again.

"I guess so. He met her a few months after he uh… well when you got pregnant. They got together pretty quickly…" Bill took one more drag and then put his smoke out.

"So basically Tom meets her, they fuck, and it's the best fuck Tom ever had so he doesn't leave her?"

"Uh... yea… basically."

I rolled my eyes and took a deep, angry drag; spewing it out quickly, not even bother to hold it. "I can't believe this!" Was I bad in bed or something?! Is that why he left?

Bill studied my facial expression and said, "That's not why he left…"

"Then why?!" I threw my cigarette on the ground and smushed it angrily.

"You're just going to have to ask him that for yourself."

"Bill, come on now…"

"It's not my place to say anything but… just know that even though you can't see it, he still cares about you…"

I looked up at him sadly. "No he doesn't."

"If he didn't at all, he wouldn't have shown up at your house the other day."

I sniffed as tears formed in my eyes. "Then why is he acting like such a dick?"

Bill frowned. "Come here." He said and pulled me into a hug. "He'll come around. You'll see."

***

I laid Haley down for her nap, and thought back to whom had just called. Dawn. My old manager. Ever since I started hanging out with Tokio Hotel again, my popularity has upped some. I have maybe one or two paparazzo's hanging around my house every day now. I can't walk _anywhere_ without having a few fans freaking out and asking for my autograph. Dawn called to ask if I was considering getting back out there, out into the acting world. Honestly, I wasn't sure yet. Sure, acting was my passion and something I absolutely loved, but I was just getting use to being "famous" again. The last thing I really wanted was a reason to be even more famous.

Dawn wanted to represent me, and I obliged, only because so far I was wanted for an interview with Tyra Banks on _The Tyra Banks Show_. She wanted to talk about my pregnancy and what I had been doing for the last few years. Didn't sound too bad, so I had that coming up in a few weeks.

Things with Tom haven't gotten an easier. He doesn't talk to me when I'm around, and when Bianca shows up… As horrible as it is to think, I really wanted to push the ugly bitch down the stairs, and pray that something bad happens. Ok, so maybe I didn't, but I wish Bianca would stop showing up!

_I had just arrived at the hotel where I would be meeting the boys. The front desk said they were sending someone down to get me. So I strode over to the elevators and waited for it to DING! to reveal security or something. No… it was Bianca._

_She glared as soon as she saw me, and threw her hair back. "Oh… it's you."_

"_Yup." I stepped into the elevator trying not to make eye contact with her._

"_Damn… I heard the screams outside. I thought I was getting someone important." Bianca studied her nails as the elevator went up._

"_Excuse me?" I looked over at her. "I am important."_

"_The hell you are."_

_I rolled my eyes and ground me feet into the carpet, praying the elevator trip would soon come to an end. _

"_Look," Bianca started, "Whatever you had with Tom, it's over now. I'm here. I've been here."_

_I shook my head. "I had nothing with Tom. And you call being fuck buddies with him having 'something?'_

"_It's a lot more then what you have." Bianca laughed. "He doesn't even want you around, and I don't blame him. I wouldn't want you around either."_

_I clenched my fists. "Can you just shut the hell up?"_

"_No. This is my territory now. You can't just walk right into it and expect to be excepted again."_

"_Bill excepts me! And so does the rest of the band!" I wanted to slap her, but I refrained._

"_All except the most important one. Tom. He doesn't except you…"_

My cell phone rang and I checked the caller ID to see it was Bill. "Hi Bill." I sat on the floor of my room, and messed around with my shag carpet.

"Hey. I wanted to ask you something."

**Sorry about the long wait guys! I made it a little longer then usual this time. **

**Remember, I have an official twitter account for this. If you ever have a question or want to know when the next update is going to be, just tweet me :) twitter . com/ TKaulitzfanfics (just take out spaces)**

**And thank you for all the lovely reviews. They make me smile and make my days. You guys are the best!**

**Quick shout to some of my best friends, Bianca and Mercedes. They got me awesome gifts for my 18****th**** birthday a few weeks ago!**

**Bianca (Yes, the bitch in the story, but she's not a bitch real life. She's the best!), she actually contacted Mike Muller and had him wish me a happy birthday! Yay! I LOVE Mike Muller!**

**And then Mercedes (Lovee this girl too) had a Mike Muller pillow made for me! It is not my FAVORITE pillow EVER. I feel asleep very happy now every night. Thanks girls!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Oh yea? What's up?" I pulled a piece of purple lint out that was stuck in my carpet.

"Um… I was wondering if you wanted to uh… fly back with me to Europe…" Bill sounded hesitant and shy.

"Huh?"

"The others are flying back today to start getting ready for the tour. I'm out here for one more day for an interview tomorrow. The magazine only wants to see me, so the others don't need to be here. They might as well get an early start on the tour preparation. So… I was hoping you'd fly back with me... It gets kinda lonely being up in a plane by yourself for 15 hours…" I could imagine Bill rubbing his arm nervously.

"So are you flying back in like two days? And why can't Carol go?"

"Yea I'm leaving on Tuesday at nine at night." Today was Sunday. "Carol is joining me in about 2 weeks, when the tour starts. I guess she wants to spend a little time with her Aunt before she leaves for 3 months"

"Oh… umm so I would fly there and come back?"

"Well… I was hoping that maybe you'd want to spend sometime with me – I mean the band! Spend time with the band. Mhmm!"

Spend time with Bill? Hm… that would be rather nice… Just him and I at night… enjoying each others company… making up for lost time… maybe a kiss here or there… WOAH WAIT! Kiss Bill?! Ha! Yea right! No! We're just friends! It's Tom I want! TOM! The hot, _masculine_ twin! Well… he's been kind of a jerk to me lately but I definitely don't want to kiss Bill! "I'd love to, but… what about Haley? I can't leave her…"

"Bring her with you."

"What? Are you serious? You know how much stuff I would have to take with me?"

"I'm sure we have all that stuff out here."

"Bill I don't know…"

"How come every time you can't do something it's because of Haley?"

"Bill, she's like my whole life! I have to plan and do everything with her included. I can't just get up and spontaneously leave the country for a few weeks… although I wish I could…" I threw the piece of purple lint that I had been playing with back into my thick shag carpet.

"I wish you could too." He whispered. "But I really like Haley and would love to have her in Europe with us!

"What about the press?"

"I don't give a sht about the press."

"Yea but the paparazzi is vicious out there! They are totally gonna question who the father is, and they won't leave us alone till they find out!"

"We'll just have to get more body guards."

"Like that's really gonna help."

"Aww come on Sadie! It'll work out just fine. I promise."

"You promise huh?"

"Yea I do…" Bill's voice softened. "If worse comes to worst, I'll say Haley is mine."

"No!" I yelled. "You can't do that! If you were the father it would make it look like you cheated on Carol! The time she was conceived was when you and Carol were together. I can't let you do that Bill… The media would tear you apart! If anything is to be said about the father, it should be Tom. Tom should just give up his stupid "I'm the sht" image and man up by telling the world he is the father. I mean what can they do?"

"Sadie, you and I both know that Tom is not going to do that."

"I know…" I sighed. "You know what? I think I'm going to go with you to Europe."

"Really?" He said a little too excitedly.

"Yea." Maybe my presence always being around will by some miracle help Tom and I. Maybe he'll love me again… if he ever did. "My mom's not going to be too happy about me bring Haley with me, but she's just going to have get over that.

"So wait, you have the option of leaving her with your mom?"

"No. I mean she'd rather I didn't go at all, but… I want to. Just get away from everything out here. Might be a nice change."

"Well… I can't promise that it'll be more peaceful. Like you said, the paparazzi are way more vicious out there."

"That's just a risk I'm willing to take."

***

I had everything worked out with my mom. Just as I had thought, she wasn't too happy about my leaving, but I wanted to do this. I hadn't really left Los Angeles for almost three years now. It was definitely time to leave for a bit.

I didn't really need to bring much with me for Haley. Just changes of clothes, bottles and toys. Everything else would be provided for me as soon as I stepped off the plane in Europe.

It was only 1 in the afternoon when I finished packing for Haley and I. I was supposed to meet Carol and Bill for lunch/dinner at 4 before the flight this evening. The more I thought about this little trip, the more excited I got. I haven't spent this much time with the boys since before I had Haley! Although, I was secretly very excited to just be able to hang out with Bill a lot. He's definitely become one of my best friends again. If I can't have Tom, I might as well have the next best thing right?

The doorbell rang and I heard my mom answer. "Sadie!" I zipped up the last suitcase and ran down the stairs to be met with my favorite person. Not. Sean.

"Oh… hey there." I rubbed my arm awkwardly hoping that my mom would leave.

"I was hoping you were home alone." Sean looked between my mom and I.

"No. She's not." My mom said bitterly.

"Yea uh… no. But I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind watching Haley for a bit."

"No. I will not watch Haley just so you two can go upstairs and create another human being! I want this to stop Sadie!" She turned to glare at Sean. "And I want you to leave."

I gritted my teeth. "He can stay Mom…"

Her voice began to raise. "Sadie…"

"Haley'll be fine in my room for the time being." I grabbed Sean's hand and walked towards the stairs.

"Sadie-"

I tuned out my mother and headed up the stairs with Sean.

"I can come back another time…" Sean whispered as we entered my room.

"No it's fine. I'm leaving for you Europe tonight." I grabbed some blocks and a few other toys and put them in Haley's crib to keep her occupied for a few hours.

"Mommy!" Haley exclaimed and bounced up and down from her spot on my bed.

"Mommy's busy right now." I picked her up and placed her in the crib. "I'm going to be busy for a few hours. Is that ok?" Haley's grin fell and her little bottom lip started to quiver. "Aww don't cry Haley. I'll put Tokio Hotel on ok? You can sing with Bill!"

That seemed to change her mind as her grin returned and she shouted, "Yay!" I grabbed the nearest Tokio Hotel CD on the shelf, "Scream" and put it the CD player. I woulda just used my iPod, but I had misplaced it a few days ago. I glanced at the clock and noticed that Haley's naptime was coming pretty soon anyway. She should have no problem falling asleep.

I grabbed the baby monitor, kissed Haley on the head and quietly left the room as she entertained her self with Tokio Hotel and her blocks.

***

He wrapped his arms tightly armed my waist and looked down into my face. "Do you really have to go to Europe?" Sean asked. "What about us?"

I slightly pulled back, "What about _us?_ We aren't anything."

"Aww come babe," Sean pulled me a little closer. "You don't feel the chemistry between us?"

I rolled my eyes with a shake of my head. "Umm no. There never has been, and there never will be." We'd finish up about a half hour. Haley had fallen asleep and Bill wasn't supposed to be here for another hour. I decided to kick Sean out early because I wanted a little peace and quiet before I was going to be carried halfway across the globe for the next 15 hours.

"Babe…" Sean leaned for a kiss but I turned my head.

"What about Jenny?" I whisepered Sean's girlfriend name. Guilt hung in my voice.

"She won't find out! It'll be our little secret."

"Yes she will! I'm starting to get famous again and the last thing I need the world to see is me hanging around you. It's bad publicity! And we already have our own little secret! A secret I'm not too proud of!" My voice had risen quite a bit.

"Sadie." Sean leaned in and caught my lips this time.

I kissed him for a few moments and then pulled away. "You should go. I need a little time to myself."

"Ah fine." He groaned and grasped the front door handle. "See you later babe." He gave me a swift kiss and then threw open the door.

"Hey Sadie- What the hell?!"

Standing in the door way was Bill and Carol, both wearing the same shocked expression. Oh shit. I don't need Bill to know, because if Bill knows, then Tom knows, and then Tom is going to make such a huge deal about it, somehow the media will find out!

"I better be going." Sean mumbled and practically ran past Bill to his car.

Bill looked at me angrily before stepping in and shutting the door. "What the fuck was he doing here?"

"Uh… he came over to talk?" I rubbed my arm nervously and turned towards the stair.

"But that's Sean! The boy who raped you!" Bill exclaimed, just a step behind me as I walked up towards my room.

"Mhmm. We're friends now."

"What?! How can you be friends with him?!"

I shrugged but then a thought came to me. "What are you doing here anyway? You're supposed to be here in an hour."

"We decided to come early." I heard Carol spoke for the first time today.

"I'm sure glad we did! Sadie, "Bill grabbed me and turned me around. "Were you going to tell me about this?"

I brushed his hands off my shoulders. "Umm, probably not."

"Why not?" Bill threw his hands in the air.

"Maybe because it's not any of your business?" I noticed Haley in her crib begin to stir.

"Sadie it became my business the day I found out he raped you!"

"Look!" I suddenly yelled. "Can we just fucking drop this? Mind your own damn business!" I don't know where the sudden outburst came from, but maybe it's because I was scared that if Bill kept prying, he would find out our little secret.

He looked taken aback but then a firm look came, "We're talking about this later."

"Whatever." I mumbled, picking up suitcases and bags from the floor.

***

The flight to Germany was long and uneventful. Bill kept prying about Sean and I, but I would either ignore him or come up with some false story, that Bill would believe, but then in the end I'd tell him I made it up. It seriously wasn't Bill's business. I trust the guy with everything, but I'm sure he would somehow make me feel horrible about this in the end. I would feel like some puppy being scolded.

Haley's eyes had lit up when she first caught sight of our private jet. She had never been in a plane before, so for the first hour of the flight she would ask, "What's this? What's that? Why?" I soon got tired of her questions so I let Bill take over. The two were rather taken to each other. Haley loved Bill. Bill loved Haley. It was almost as if Bill was the real father. I mean he certainly looked like, because you know he and Tom are twins. People could really mistake Bill for the father. The media in Europe is brutal and I know for sure the cameras are going to be in our faces. Especially because I'm back, and with a baby this time. There's no reason as to why the media wouldn't question it. I know Bill had said he would deal with it, but there was no way I could let him. He had nothing to do with Haley. Tom did.

I was just about to talk to Bill about it, but I had found he had fallen asleep with Haley in his arms. I checked the time to see we had about two hours left before we landed. There would be plenty of time to talk with Bill if I woke him up just a bit before we get there.

I could feel sleep begin to over take me, so I snuggled against Bill's arm and fell into dreamland.

* * *

**Hi guys! I'm so sorry for the long wait! **

**One of my new years resolutions is to update a lot more frequently. The holidays were very hectic this. When I wasn't working, or attending a party (Which I did both almost every day) I was sleeping most of the time. So I really hadn't a chance to tackle this chapter. But it's done now!**

**Remember to add my twitter account guys. I update there on what's going on and stuff. Easiest way to get my attention! Twitter . com / TKaulitzfanfics**

**I'm sure some of you guys are like "WHERE THE HELL IS TOM?!" Don't worry guys. He'll be back and me a major character again soon. I miss writing about Tom. I mean I love me some Bill, BUT TOM! Gotta love him.**

**Reviews/comments make me happy and motivated =) Sorry I can't respond to everyone, but know that every one is read and appreciated. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The fans went crazy at the airport. Not only were they seeing Bill Kaulitz (fan girl scream), but they were also seeing Sadie Hawkins again. The last time I was out here was about a week before I found out I was pregnant. After that, I never came back. I guess to the fans it seemed as if I vanished from the earth. The tabloids never had anything to write about. The media never had anything to talk about. All because I decided to hide from the world. Well yes, the tabloids and media did talk about my pregnancy, but only for so long. As soon as I stopped going outside, there was nothing to be said about me, besides the fact that somebody had knocked me up. It was no surprise when the fans pointed fingers at Tom. Though we both had denied it many times, it didn't matter. The true fans knew, but they had no idea they were right.

Bill had stopped just outside the entrance to sign autographs and take pictures with the fans. The fans, realizing I had Haley with me, started to yell and scream her name, which Haley was not comfortable with at all. She hid her head shyly in my shoulder, looking up every so often at the mob of people. I patted her on the back and whispered that she would be fine, but then a low whimper came out of her.

"Haley, are you scared?" She whimpered again and I took that as a yes.

"Sadie!" A fan screamed. "Can you sign this?" She held a picture of Tom and I when we were younger, and friends.

"Umm…" I turned towards one of the security guards. "Can you take her to the car?" Security nodded and held out his hands for Haley. I had difficulty prying her off my shoulder, but I eventually did it. "Mommy will be right there." Haley started to cry, but security was already off with her before I could react. I looked at the fans, momentarily forgetting about Haley, and searched my pockets for a Sharpie. No luck. "Hey Bill?"

He smiled at the camera a fan was holding, ready for a picture to be taken. As soon as it was done Bill looked in my direction. "Hmm?"

"Do you have an extra sharpie?"

"I think so…" Bill put a hand in his back pocket and pulled out a skinny silver sharpie. "Here."

"Thanks." I smiled, ready to sign autographs and take pictures.

About five minutes later I was being rushed towards the car. It was so nice to be with the European fans again. Something about them made me smile. Not that I didn't like any other countries fans, it's just the European ones were my favorite. They were all so friendly today. They told me how nice it was to see me, and that they missed me, and that Haley is beautiful etc…

As soon as I appeared in the doorway Haley started screaming my name. "Mommy! Mommy!" She reached out to me with grabby hands. Security helped me in and soon Haley was in my arms crying. I guess this amount of people was too much for her to handle.

Bill finally arrived, without a scratch I might add, and we were off to the Hotel. We were only stopping by for a moment to pick up Tom, _wonderful_, and because Bill had to grab his leather jacket, which was in his luggage that had just arrived. After we would be heading to the venue to practice for the new tour.

Bill was now holding Haley who had finally calmed down. "I'm sorry about that Sadie. I had no idea the fans would scare her!"

I sighed. "Yea, I didn't either. But she'll be fine. Just needs some peace and quiet for now. Actually, what I really think she needs is a nap. The time change has probably messed her up."

"Are you sleepy?" Bill asked cutely. Haley shook her head, just as a yawn came forth. Bill and I laughed softly. Haley laid the back of her head against Bill's chest and looked up at the ceiling. I didn't find it very interesting, but apparently she did.

I looked out the window and admired the scenery that was rushing by. "It's good to be back. I missed Germany."

"And Germany missed you." Bill winked, wrapping his thin arms softly around Haley.

***

We arrived at the hotel. Haley had fallen asleep in Bill's arms. He passed her slowly to me, careful not to wake her up so he could exit the car and get his jacket quickly. I heard some excited German outside the car and looked up just as the door opened. Tom locked eyes with me, no emotion at all. They quickly changed though, as his eyes widened at the sleeping child in my arms.

"Tom?" Security asked, wondering as to why Tom hadn't gotten in yet.

"Oh uh…" Tom quickly got in and shut the door. It was dead silent as Tom made himself comfortable two seats away from me.

"Hi." I whispered, loud enough for him to hear me. He nodded his head, showing that he had heard me. "How's the tour coming along?"

"Good." He then stole a quick glance at Haley. "How was the flight?"

"Good." I could feel his uneasiness. It radiated off him. His uneasiness to be near his daughter.

"She's going to be 3 soon…" I cleared my throat.

"Oh yea?" He asked like didn't care, but I could detect a hint of interest.

"Yea." The conversation ended there. Dead silence once again. There were no fans around surprisingly. I guess it's because they thought we were taking a straight shot to the venue. I mean that was the plan, but plans change. I think it's a bit crazy how the fans know about Tokio's schedule, and EVERYTHING else they seem to know about them.

Bill ended up sitting next to Tom, who had to sit right next to me. I was a little uncomfortable and wished I were else where, yet at the same time the only place I wished to be was right next to Tom. He was so close I could smell him. He still wore that same musky, spicy cologne that nearly drove me crazy when we made out. I suddenly wanted him, right here and now. Forget everyone else in the car. I just needed Tom. I quickly thought about horrible images before I attacked Tom. I'm supposed to make him want me, not me want him! But I did want him… I never stopped wanting him.

Tom pulled out his phone and was swiftly typing away. I glanced at his phone to see that he wasn't texting anybody. He just needed something to do, something to ease the tension in the car. It wasn't that great, but it was still there. I looked down and started to play with Haley's curls, careful to not wake her up.

***

It must have been so awkward for Tom to be sitting next his daughter that he has barley seen before. He doesn't even know her, yet he is completely and 100 percent related to her. Tom practically pushed Bill out of the car when it came to stop at the venue. Of course, the fans were there to welcome the boys, but we didn't get to greet them. Our driver drove us under the venue so we could get out without a hassle from the fans.

To my surprise, Haley was still asleep so we decided to let her continue her unending nap in the back stage room while everyone else was on stage. I came out to watch everything, but every once in a while I would go check on her.

Bill seemed to be picking up things pretty quickly. They hadn't gotten a whole lot done yet anyway. It had only been one day so far.

I held Haley close – she had finally woken up – as we made our way through the sea of fans outside the hotel. Georg, Tom and Gustav had gone ahead to the hotel an hour before we had gotten here. Bill was having some technical difficulties with his mike and wanted it fixed before he left for dinner. Haley seemed to be able to handle the fans better, probably because she wasn't so tired. She waved with a smile and was even disappointed that all the hype went away so quickly.

"Mommy. I wanna go down." Haley squirmed in my arms and pouted.

"Ok." I placed her on the ground and grabbed her little hand, following Bill and the others to the restaurant. The hostess nodded when she saw us and led us to a private room in the back. It was basically for the band and a few other workers who wanted to join us.

Haley suddenly gasped and let go of my hand, her little feet carrying her to a Mr. Tom Kaulitz. "Tomi!" She squealed and hugged his stomach and the chair.

Tom, not expecting for a 2 year old to be running at him, almost dropped his drink. "What the hell?!" He exclaimed and looked down to see our little girl trapping him in his chair. His eyes and mouth widened, "Um…"

Haley lifted her head and grinned at Tom. "It's you! Tomi!" She squealed again and hugged him tighter. Tom looked at Bill with wide eyes, not sure what to do next, but Bill just smirked and crossed his arms.

"Uh… hi." Tom reached out and patted her on the head uneasily.

"Can I sit next to you?" Haley asked excitedly.

Tom looked at the empty chair next to him. "Yea…" He gently placed his strong hands on Haley's arms and unwrapped them from him. He stood up, pushing his chair out, and pulled out the one next to him. Haley stared at the chair before it registered that he needed to help her. Tom picked her up and placed her in the chair, and then found that her head barley reached the table. He frowned and crossed his arms, trying to figure out what to do.

I cracked a smile and watch the scene unfold. Tom had no idea what he was doing, and it was very amusing. "You need a high chair Tom."

He whipped his head towards me. "What?" Bill understood and explained it in German. "Oh…"

We finally were all situated for dinner. I found it laughable that nobody tried to help Tom. Not even Bill. Haley ended up sitting in between Tom and I, which was fine with me. I didn't want to feel the urge to attack Tom again. It was cute watching Tom interact with Haley. She would not stop talking to him. I had no idea she could talk so much! She didn't know a bunch of words, but boy, could she carry on a conversation! Well… I guess it wasn't a conversation because Tom would only "hmm" or nod his at a few things.

Tom noticed Haley staring at his chocolate cake and ice cream when dessert came. He let out a loud sigh and asked if she wanted any. "Yes!" She nodded quickly and opened her mouth.

"Wha… oh." Tom dipped his spoon in the dessert and brought a huge glob to Haley's lips. The entire table laughed as she tried to fit her tiny mouth over the entire spoon. It didn't work.

"Not so much!" Bill scolded.

Tom turned to Bill and glared. "Well why don't you do it then?" Bill shook his and nodded at Haley, who was waiting. Tom growled and dumped some of the dessert off his spoon. "Let's try this again." He succeeded this time, and couldn't help but let out a proud smile.

By the time the two finished the plate, there was chocolate and ice cream all over Haley's face. I volunteered to clean her up. Not only had Tom helped her eat dessert, but also earlier he cut up chicken nuggets into tiny bit size pieces. I think he had enough for the night. You are probably wondering how we got Tom to do all that. Well, it was because Haley had insisted that it be Tom and no one else. He always made a face, but deep down inside, I'm sure it pleased Tom to be wanted, in a different way.

***

After dinner we all went up stairs to our rooms. My hotel room was just a few rooms down from the twins, but right across from Georg and Gustav.

"Wait!" Haley screamed at Tom who had just opened the door to his room. Once again he had a 2-year-old running up to him, but this time she wrapped herself around Tom's leg. "Don't leave me!"

Bill and I walked towards the two. "Haley you'll see him tomorrow morning."

"No!" She pouted. Tom looked very uncomfortable and helpless.

Bill squatted down to Haley's height. "We promise. Now come on, you can hang out with me. We can uh… play Barbie's or something." That got a laugh out of Tom, which Bill ignored.

A little smile formed on her face. "Yea?"

"Of course! I'll be Ken, you be Barbie."

"No I wanna be Ken!" Haley said stubbornly. "You be Barbie!"

"Deal." Another laugh from Tom.

"So can you say goodnight to Tom?" I asked, noticing that Tom was beginning to look anxious.

"Good night Tomi!" She practically screamed and let go of Tom's leg. "Barbie's!" She yelled and grabbed Bill's hand.

"Yea!" He smiled with fake enthusiasm and led her down to my room. Tom watched the two leave and then looked at me.

"You're her favorite you know. No, she doesn't know who you really are." I said before Tom could cut in. "She just feels a connection with you." Tom only nodded and turned back to his room.

"Just thought you should know."

"Whatever." Tom shrugged before walking into his room and closing the door, leaving me alone in the hallway.

***

About two hours later Bill and I tucked Haley in. She would be sharing a bed with me, but she was sleeping against the wall so she wouldn't fall off the bed in the middle of the night.

"Good night Haley" Bill whispered and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

I walked with him to my door and smiled. "Thanks for everything Bill."

"No problem. I like helping with her."

"You really don't have to though."

"Yea I know I don't have to, but I want to. Besides you guys are family now. We help each other out right?"

"True." I sighed. "But you do so much for me. I wanna do something for you."

Bill smiled sweetly. "You agreed to come with me to Europe for a little while. That's exactly what I wanted."

I sighed again. "I guess."

"Sadie… it's enough." He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. Now normally, that wouldn't be a big deal, but it had just become a big deal considering how close he was to my lips and how long the simple kiss lasted. He pulled away and whispered, "Gute nacht Sadie."

"Night Bill." I said, suddenly feeling something I'd never felt before for him. Oh how I wish he would've just kissed me.

* * *

**Sadie and Bill?! WHAT?! …… :D **

**Tokio Hotel on the Almost Alice sound track! Woooo! So excited for the movie! Not only do we get to see the most amazing actor (Johnny Depp) but also we get to hear the most amazing band! A+ in my book already.**

**So I hope everyone had an amazing holiday break :D I know I did! I got to hang with Bianca! (Yea the Bianca from this story)**

**Thank you for all the wonderful review/comments! They make my day! Member to add me on twitter . com/TKaulitzfanfics to find out when updates are happening. Also if you have ANY question for me about the story or about me, ask me here! ****htt p:/ /w**** ww.f /TKaulitzfanfics **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The day that Tom and Haley would meet, I honestly had no idea what to expect. I wanted everything to work out perfectly. For Tom to drop his stupid, arrogant attitude and to welcome Haley with open arms. For Tom to see that spending time with his daughter would be even better if he was spending time with the mother too. For us to live happily ever after. Unfortunately neither of those things happened. Maybe it would take time or something.

I tossed and turned in my bed, trying to ignore the fact that my body was in need of nicotine. Yea I smoked on occasion, but that 'occasion' was at least once a week. I continued to try and ignore my cravings by thinking about today, but it wasn't working. I wanted one and I wanted one now. I glanced at Haley, who was curled up in the fetal position, and decided it would be ok if I let her alone for a few minutes.

I pulled my hair up into ponytail before grabbing my cigarettes and lighter. I know the smoke would still get in my hair, but not as much as it would if my hair were down. I looked at Haley once more and pulled the blankets up a little higher on her body. It was a bit chilly in the room and I didn't want Haley waking up cold. I pulled on a big, purple sweatshirt and stepped out onto my patio with my cigarettes and lighter in hand.

Putting a cigarette to my lip, I was just about to light it when I noticed a figure pacing a few balconies down. I squinted my eyes a bit and finally recognized little black braids hidden underneath a beanie, and a silver lip ring that shined in the moonlight. Tom. He was holding a burning cigarette in his right hand, not even smoking it as he paced back and forth. Apparently Tom had continued to smoke over the years.

I stepped back into the shadows and lit up my own, my eyes never leaving him. I didn't want him to see me. I just wanted to watch him. Haven't been able to just look at him in person for almost three years now, and I didn't know when I would have the chance again.

"Scheisse!" He suddenly cussed aloud, dropping his cigarette that was quickly burning through the filter, and stomped it out. Grabbing the box from the table, he shook out another one, brought it to his gorgeous – I mean lips and lit it. Quickly after, smoke curled from his mouth and he began pacing again. I didn't know why he was doing it, but I continued to watch as I finished my own.

He finally stopped and turned to the rail, throwing his arms down on it and sighed loudly. He brought the cigarette to his lips again before leaning over with his head on his arms. The boy obviously had something on his mind, and I would've loved to find out what it was. Unfortunately I wasn't really in a place where I could just waltz over to his room and ask what was up. That was one of the privileges I had when we were going out, or at least friends.

I took one more puff from my cancer stick before stubbing it out in the ashtray next to me. Looking at Tom again, I noticed his shoulders slightly moving. I heard a sniffle and watched as he lifted his head and wiped at his eyes with his free hand. Was Tom Kaulitz crying? He moved his face to the side and I could see a single tear drop running down his face. Tom Kaulitz was crying! What the hel?! I wanted so much to run over to his room and comfort him, but… I couldn't. He didn't even know I was watching him, and he probably didn't want to be watched, which was why he was crying in the middle of the night.

He continued to sniffle and wipe at his eyes as my curiosity grew. I _had_ to know what was wrong with him! And then a thought came to my head. Was meeting Haley today too overwhelming for him? Surely he had known he was going to. I mean, Bill must've told him that I was coming on tour! Unless he failed to leave out Haley while telling him… I need to talk to Bill.

Tom stopped wiping his eyes, stood up straight and chucked his cigarette over the balcony angrily. He let out a giant huff and turned to go inside, picking up his cancer sticks as he went. As soon as I heard the door click shut, I felt it was safe to step out of the shadows again.

***

Bill had come over early the next morning to help get Haley dressed so I had time for myself. I was shocked that Bill had gotten himself ready so fast. He said it was because he was awake most of the night due to Tom. But wasn't Tom by himself? Maybe Bill had come over later. Doesn't matter really though, because Bill won't tell me why he was with Tom. The only information I got out of him was that Tom just wanted to talk. I have no idea about what though.

"Hey Bill?" I stepped out of the bathroom, securing my hair in a ponytail. "Did you tell Tom that I was coming?"

Bill was messing around with Haley's curls, trying to see if they could do something else. "Yea. Why?"

"I don't know, it's just he seemed surprised to see Haley."

He looked up and smiled. "Well you'd be surprised too if a two year old suddenly attacked you out no where. Specially when its your two year old daughter that you've _never_ met before."

"Well ya but… why didn't you tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

Looking in the mirror, I was satisfied with my appearance and joined Bill on the bed. "Tell him that Haley was coming along with me.

"Why would I have to tell him?" He asked. "Isn't it obvious? I mean why wouldn't you bring Haley?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It just seems like he was uh… surprised."

"Why are you repeating yourself?" Bill laughed.

"Never mind."

***

"Tom!" Haley screamed at Tom with a bright smile. She stood in front of him and lifted her arms and made a grabbing motion with her hands. Tom groaned slightly and scooped her up into his arms. He didn't like to show or admit that he liked having Haley here, but I know he did. His whole attitude changed when she came around. Usually he wore a bored expression unless he going at it with the boys, but when Haley would ran up to him, he suddenly seemed happier. Even though most of the time he didn't know what the hel he was doing, he seemed to enjoy it.

I've been here for a few days now, not a whole lot has changed, except that Tom is hanging around Haley now. I think Bill gets jealous sometimes. He will be playing with Haley and as soon as Tom enters the room, she bolts to Tom, leaving Bill by himself. Bill tried to act like it didn't bother him, but I know it did, and I completely understand. The past few months, he's been the one there for Haley, and not Tom. So as soon as Tom enters the picture, Haley drops him for Tom.

Haley giggled and hugged Tom as soon as she was in his arms. Tom laughed but then frowned, picking at something in her hair. "What's this? A French fry?" He examined it before throwing it away and checked out her hair again. "How'd you get a fry in there?" Haley's hair was a mess of curls today. Normally they were nice curls, but Haley screamed any time anybody went near her hair with a brush today, so we left it tangled. She's going to suffer the consequences later, when I _have_ to brush out the knots. I guess in a way it's my way of punishing her without yelling. She'll find out first hand that it's better to listen to mommy then be stubborn.

"I don't know." Haley laughed and threw her head back. "Spin me!"

Tom looked surprised. "What?"

Bill groaned. "Spin around really fast but make sure you are holding on to her back and legs."

"Umm… ok." Tom did as Bill said and began to spin Haley around. Haley laughs was infectious and soon Tom was laughing with her. "Ok… ok. I'm done." Tom said as he slowed down, tired and sat her on the ground.

Haley and I were watching the boy's photo shoot for a German magazine. Speaking of magazines, ever since I arrived in Europe my name has been mentioned in almost every article written about Tokio Hotel, specifically the twins. Nothing bad was written. Just the usual like how the boys are hanging around with me again, and that I've been MIA for almost three years. The magazines want to do a photo shoot with Haley and I, but I refuse. I will not let take pictures of Haley for money, nor do I want pictures to be taken of her. If the photographers get any picture of her, its when we are walking or going somewhere with the twins. Never directly at the camera. It still amazes me that the media has not accused the twins of being the father. Haley's face is very close to Bill and Tom's. It's a good thing though. I don't have to deal with rumors… for now.

***

"Animal crackers or goldfish?"

"Both!" Haley smiled, looking up from her tower of blocks she had just made.

"Ok." We came back from the photo shoot a few hours ago and had eaten dinner with the boys, but Haley was still hungry after eating a nice sized portion of spaghetti.

I had just grabbed both boxes out from under the TV cabinet, - we used that as storage/pantry – when I heard a knock at the door. I put the boxes on the bed before going to answer the door. Looking through the peephole, I could see Tom, standing with his hands in his pocket. I wondered what he wanted. "Hi." I said once I opened the door.

"Hey umm I, I mean Bill wanted to know if you wanted to go a club with us tonight?" He looked past me to see Haley on the floor.

"Why couldn't Bill just come and ask me himself?" I leaned against the doorframe with my arms crossed.

"You know Bill. He's getting ready to go. Could take ages. Gotta find the right shade of black."

I cracked a smile. The right shade of black, well according to Bill there is all different kinds. Onyx, coal, black patent etc… "Oh that's true huh… Um…" Clubbing actually sounded pretty fun at the moment. I've been so concentrated on Haley for the past few weeks; I haven't really gone and done anything for myself. Speaking of watching Haley… " You know I would love to go, but I can't. Someone's-"

"Georg will watch her." Tom finished for me.

"What?"

"You need someone to watch Haley right?"

"Yea."

"Georg will. He doesn't want to go clubbing tonight. Something about not feeling up to fending off girls or whatever. Like that would happen anyway." He smirked.

I laughed. "Oh he will? That's so sweet of him! But um… I mean is he even qualified to take care of a toddler?"

"What's could be so hard? Bill told me it's almost her bedtime anyway. All he has to do is get her ready for bed right? And then put her in the bed, and then he's good."

"Well, it's not quite that simple…" There was a lot more to it.

"Aww come on. Georg can handle it." Tom sounds like he actually wants me to go!

"Well, I uh… I guess I can go."

"Great!" He smiled, brushing past me into my room. Tom and I were beginning to talk, if you haven't noticed already. We weren't anything like we use to be, but I guess Tom realized that it's easier to be nice to me. A few times a day we would make light conversation, no texting though. If we talked, it was only in person, and very brief.

"Tomi!" Haley exclaimed when she saw him. "Look what I made!"

He squatted down to her level. "Oh that's a very nice uh castle!"

"It's not a castle! It's a dinosaur!" Haley pouted.

"Of course it is!" Tom looked back at me and raised an eyebrow. I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. "I was just kidding." I think Haley needs a teacher.

"Oh." Haley giggled and got up to give Tom a hug. She was a few inches from him when her left kicked the "dinosaur" sending the sculpture tumbling down. She started at the mess, her eyes welling up and then let out a big wail. "My dinosaur!" She cried and crashed onto Tom.

He tentatively wrapped an arm around her little body, and let the tears soak up his expensive looking, dark blue Pea Coat. "Umm… it's ok Haley…" He slightly turned around again and looked at me.

"Help her fix it." I mouthed.

He nodded and said, "Hey let's put it back together. Ya?"

Haley pulled away, rubbing her watery eyes, and sniffed. "Ok. She sat on the floor next to him and started stacking the blocks as Tom handed them to her. In a matter of moments the "dinosaur" was back. "Thank you Tom!" She jumped at him, this time missing the blocks and hugged him.

"You're welcome Haley." He smiled, but it didn't last long. Haley turned her head and planted a tiny kiss on Tom's cheek, which I could tell instantly shocked him. His whole body seemed to tense up, and his smile left. He started to get up, so Haley let go, and turned to look at me with wide eyes.

"I told you she likes you."

Tom stood there for a few more seconds and mumbled some agreement, and before I knew it, he was out of my room. I think Haley is starting to get to him.

***

With Bill, Tom, Gustav, David and a few bodyguards at our side, we entered the crazy nightclub, which held one of the last people I wanted to see.

* * *

**Hmm… why was tom crying? I think he likes Haley. What do you think???**

**And what can happen at a nightclub when you are under the influence? Some crazy things, or some not so crazy things, or nothing crazy at all…**

**I was telling the people on twitter, one of the reasons it takes so long for me to post is because I'll have the chapter typed up, and then BAM I'll be hit with another idea and have to change the whole thing. It can be very frustrating at times. Thanks for sticking with me guys! I LOVE YOU!**

**And I love your reviews too :D **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

I pulled on my sparkely, sequined shirt that was riding up as we weaved our way through the crowd of people to the VIP area. As usual, tons of people packed the dance floor, well actually the whole club, so we had some difficulty getting our special area. Once their, I took off my jacket and laid it over the chair.

Bill pulled out a chair with a big smile plastered on his face. "I'm ready to drink!" He sat down and looked at me. "What about you?"

"Uh…" I wasn't sure if I wanted one. Well I knew I wanted one, but having Haley around now a days was seriously limiting me on my drinking. Except my twenty first birthday…

"Tequila Shots!" Tom yelled and suddenly six shots were placed in the middle of the table. Bill grabbed two and put one in front of me. I counted the shot glasses. Six. But there was only five of us. Bill, Gustav, Tom, David and I…

"Tomi!" That voice just killed my night. I looked up from my glass to see the head of sluts jumping on Tom. Bianca…

"Hey babe." Tom leaned in and kissed her before grabbing the lone shot glass and handing it to her.

That shot suddenly sounded pretty good. David counted on the count of 3 and everybody threw back their head, swolling the nasty substance. I made a face as it went down, burning my throat.

Bill thought it was funny and laughed. "Don't like it much huh?

"I actually hate the taste of alcohol." I then smiled and grabbed a glass of coke that had been provided earlier. "I just love what it does to me." I took a big gulp of the coke, ridding my mouth of the awful taste, ready to have a drink that I actually enjoy. My happiness flew away as soon as I set my eyes upon that bitch. "What the hel is she doing here?" I whispered to Bill.

"Tom called her yesterday morning. I guess the boy gets lonely when he doesn't have anyone to fuk…" Bill sighed and studied his shot glass. "You up for another one?"

"Maybe later…" The two had barely been in each other's presence for more then an minute and were already eating each others face off. "I think I need a drink. Not a shot though."

"What do you want?" Bill asked getting up from the table.

"Hmm…" What sounds good… Oh I know. "A Mojito" It didn't take much for me to get drunk, so I was definitely going to need to watch myself tonight.

"You got it." He walked over to the bar and ordered drinks for the two of us. Ya know, I was really looking forward to reconnecting with Tom tonight... but no. That friken bitch just _had_ to show up. Argh… Why did Tom have to invite her? Just when things were getting good between us! I stared daggers at the two, hoping the bitch would suddenly burn up and that would be the end of her, but sadly, it didn't work.

Bill returned balancing three drinks and sat them up on the table. A Mojito and two, small shot glasses. "Tom." He called, pulling away Tom's attention from the skank for a moment. He nodded towards the shots and smiled. Tom nodded, letting go of Bianca and grabbed a shot glass. "One, two, three!" They put the glass to their lips and threw back their heads. "Yes!" Bill slammed the glass down. "I beat you!"

"What the hell? No you didn't!" Tom exclaimed.

"Yes I did!"

I rolled my eyes. Typical Kaulitz twins. One always had to beat the other at something.

Bianca was suddenly standing next to me, surveying my outfit. "I'm suprised security even let you in."

"Excuse me?" I found nothing wrong with my silver sequined top and leather leggings.

"With _that_ outfit, it should be illegal to even be out in public!" She pushed up her overly teased hair, and fake boobs and smirked.

"Oh my God… I really don't want to deal with you right now and your lame ass disses." I sipped my drink and tried not to look at her.

"Then leave."

"If anyone should leave, it should be you. You don't belong here."

"What the fuc?!" She cocked out her hip and placed a hand on it. "If there's anyone who doesn't belong here, it's you! You've been gone for three years! I don't know why you think you can just waltz back in here!"

"Umm hello, I'm the Kaulitz's twins best friend!"

"_Were. _Whatever relationship you had with Tom is fuking over now."

"I wasn't talking about just Tom."

"Oh please girl!" She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Everyone knows you had a thing with Tom. And honestly, I don't know how could even stand you."

"I could say the same for you." I gritted my teeth, and stirred my straw around my drink violently.

"Fine! Whatever!" Tom sighed and grabbed Bianca, taking her to a more secluded area.

"That bitch…" I grumbled and grabbed my cigarettes and a lighter from my purse. I noticed after walking in, that they allowed smoking in the club, and I was going to fully take advantage of that.

"You guys have a nice friendly chat?" Bill asked taking his seat next to me again.

"Of course." I grumbled and lit up, noticing four more empty shot glasses on the table. "How many did you and Tom have?"

"Umm… like three or four?" Bill leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "It should be hitting me pretty soon. I won by the way." He winked and grabbed my drink, taking a gigantic sip out of it.

"Hey!" I slapped his arm just as he set it back down. "Get your own!"

"Damn Sadie… just wanted a sip… and it wasn't even that good… I'm more of a rum and coke kind of guy."

"Then why don't you go get one?" My cigarette slowly burned. I hadn't even taken a puff out of it yet.

Bill nodded his head and stood up. "Good idea." And made his way over to the bar again.

"That boy is going to be so wasted by the end of the night." I laughed and finally put the cigarette to my lips. Really? Did they _really_ have to do that right now? Tom had Bianca back up into a corner, doing God knows what to her. Not that she minded though. Their were a few fans in the club. How could I tell? Well they were standing in front of the roped off VIP area holding their cell phones out with wide grins spread across their face. "Bill!" They called out, hoping to catch the attention of the favorite singer. Bill casually turned around and gave a small wave and smile before turning back to the bar.

I finished the rest of my Mojito and got up to join Bill at the bar. "I'll have what he's having." I said to the bartender taking another puff from my cigarette.

Bill turned to me. "A shot of vodka and rum and coke?"

Ugh. I hated the taste of Tequila but I really hated the taste of vodka. "Umm yea sure." I decided that it would be ok to go back to the hotel just a little tipsy. I'm sure Haley would be asleep anyway.

"Here ya go." The gruff bartender sat our drinks on the counter before us.

Bill and I grabbed for the shot glasses. "Ready, set, go!" We tipped back our heads and let the nasty liquid go down our throat. Bill quickly downed it and sang "It's time to run! The sky is changing we are one!" I think it was beginning to hit him. He then grabbed my hands and started jumping up and down. "Together we can make it while the world is crashing down." He then let go and turned his back on me. "Don't you turn around!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed "Wow…"

Bill turned around to grab his rum and coke and smiled. "I need to drink more!" He yelled and skipped off in the opposite direction of the bar; his drink splashing out of the cup.

I laughed and grabbed my drink. Thanking the bartender I made my way back to my seat. It just hit me that I already had like 3 drinks already within the first ten minutes. One more shot and my rum and coke, I would definitely be feeling it. Actually, I was already beginning to feel it. My reflexes were a bit slower, just a bit, and my mood was lifting, despite what was going on in the corner. Bill had basically just been taking shots and that crap hits you _fast_. I wasn't expecting a sober Bill for much longer.

Just as I had sat down, I was joined by the others, Gustav, Bill and David. Shockingly enough, Tom and Bianca went on break to sit with us. We made a few toasts towards the tour and continued to drink and talk.

"So Sadie, are you joining us for the tour too?" Gustav asked. He didn't recklessly drink like Bill or I so he was still pretty much sober.

Honestly I hadn't given it much thought past the two weeks that I would be spending time with the Bill as they prepped for the tour. "Oh um…"

Bill took a small slip and looked at me. "Yea. Tour starts in five days. Would be cool if you could stay at least for the first few shows." Wow… he sounded normal. Just wait. Bill won't be able to have a proper conversation in the next twenty minutes.

The way Haley was bonding with Tom, it really did seem like a good idea to keep the two near each other. Why split them up when they are finally together? And Tom and I are starting to talk again. What if we could get back together? Hopefully he would dump that dumb hoe bag. I would have to talk to Dawn about it though. I was scheduled to be on the "Tyra Banks Show" talk show next week. Maybe I could skip it? I'm sure this is better publicity anyway. I mean, I'll be on tour with the two most famous twins and the most famous German band. I'm sure the media is going to be all over them. More then usual. "I guess I can stay."

"Yay!" Bill clapped his hands together.

"Just for a few tour dates though. I really need to check with Dawn and see what's up for me."

"At least you'll be their opening night." Bill smiled and this time chugged the rest of his rum and coke.

"Yea. How long has it been since you've seen us perform live?"

"Almost three years." Funny how that number seems to be coming up all the time.

***

It had been about an hour and it had definitely hit me. The world around me moved very slowly, I felt completely high and anytime somebody said something I would think it's hysterical and start giggling like mad. I could barley hold myself up so I was slouching in my chair, my body against the table.

Gustav, who was still fine, kept trying to have a conversation with me but I was too giggly and stupid to keep up with him. He eventually got up with David and sat at the bar, drinking a beer while watching some guy show.

Bill was… well Bill was gone. I watched him just a few minutes ago basically crawl his way over to the rope that separated the VIP from the dance floor. He somehow pulled himself up and was no leaning onto a pole talking to a bunch of crazy fan girls. I think he thought he was a girl, because he kept flipping his long dreaded hair over his shoulder and making hand gestures that a girl would do. Every once in a while I would hear "Oh my God! I know right!" He sounded so… gay.

Tom and Bianca? Well what do you think they are doing? Making out of course, but much more then that. I swear that if I were sober I would say they were basically fuking in a dark corner in the club. I wasn't too sure though. My sight was definitely off, so I wasn't really sure what I was watching, but I did no for sure that it was _really_ pissing me off. I wouldn't be surprised though. Those two are like cats in heat when they're together! Bianca was suddenly moved up higher against the wall and was above Tom. I lazily looked her straight in the eye, and that's when she sent me a very powerful smirk. I wanted so much to walk over that and just punch that bitch in the face. Too bad I can barley walk.

I clumsily stood up from the chair and stumbled my way to the small bathroom in our area. All those drinks had caught up with me and I needed to let them go. Like now.

After somehow making it into the stall and peeing correctly, I washed my hands – yea I was smart enough to do that – and left the bathroom, I made my way back to the bar. I choose the end furthest away from David and Gustav and drunkingly ordered another Mojito. I'm actually very surprised he gave me another. I wouldn't give myself another one if I saw myself… if that makes sense.

I turn to go back to my seat but I stop dead in my tracks. Bill was sitting in my chair and he looked beautiful. An amazing piece of artwork with gorgeous alabaster angles and features…and pink kissable lips… that I just _had_ to have.

Before I knew it was standing next to him –of course I stumbled the entire way over- letting lust take over. Bill looked up at me, smiled lazily and patted his lap. "Sit with me."

"Gladly" I purred and sat across his bony legs, our chests facing each other. I reached out and lightly started to play with his hair, all while looking him at his seductively. "You know what I want Bill?"

"What?" He was clueless and looked at me curiously.

"I want _you._" I smirked at his eyes widening at what I just said. I posistioned myself so close to Bill, our chests were only a few inches apart.

"Really?" That boy was just so damn cute when he was confused. I nodded and slowly pressed my lips to his. There was a bit of a delayed reaction before he responded and finally kissed me back, with tongue. The boy moves fast.

I was suddenly aware of something and pulled away. "I must taste like an ash tray." I had probably three or four cigarettes tonight. "Does that bother you?"

"No." Bill barley got out before attacking my lips. In the back of my mind I could hardly believe it. I was kissing _Bill Kaulitz_. I was one lucky girl. He rested his hands on my ass as I wrapped my arms around his neck and was practically on top of him now. A thought had just hit me. Tom. Tom was in the room, kissing that ugly slut. I wonder what he would do if he found out I was kissing his twin brother? Maybe I would see the Tom who suddenly stops kissing Bianca and pulls us apart and yells at Bill for kissing his ex girlfriend. The girl he loved. The mother of his child. Or he could continue to kiss Bianca like it didn't bother him.

I could hear the gasps of the fan girls and saw the flashes of cameras go off when I blinked every so often. At the moment I didn't care that this was going to be all over the headlines tomorrow. All I cared about was that I was getting what I wanted and hopefully a reaction from Tom. I reluctantly pulled away from Bill and leaned towards the table to grab my Mojito. Just as I was taking a giant sip my eyes met with Tom, who looked _shocked_. His mouth hung open and his eyes wide. Bianca looked way past annoyed and shook Tom till he looked at her. I took another sip and was happy to see Tom looking at me again, his attention off Bianca. I smirked and sent a playful wink before turning back to his twin.

"Carol." Bill whispered as my lips touched his.

I kept very close to him and ran a hand through his hair. "Carols not here right now."

"She's coming though." We were still very close to each other that everytime we spoke our lips touched.

"Well enjoy the time you have with me then." I didn't give him a chance to speak as I had forcefully pressed my lips against his. The boy was a dam good kisser. Not as good as Tomi boy over there, but almost. Pretty boys definitely know how to kiss. Bill bit my lip playfully and removed his hands from my ass and onto my hips under my shirt. His cold hand on my warm skin made me jump a little. I felt him smile and bite a little harder. I never kissed a guy with his tongue pierced and dam did that little steel ball make everything hotter. Somehow I managed to get up and straddle the boy without our lips leaving each other and now his hands were traveling up to my boobs. I giggled as his hands played around with me.

Pulling away for a brief moment to take another sip from my drink, my eyes focused on Tom and Bianca. They were most definitely going at it and a burst of anger exploded in me. I gripped the cup in my hand stared daggers at the two. All of the sudden I heard a crack and the glass cup broke in my hand. I screamed as I felt glass immediately embed into my hand and red blood started to line the cuts. I dropped the rest of the cup and stared at my hand, the oozing blood turning my hand red. My breath got heavier and as I started to hyperventilate I fell against Bill's chest. He looked at me with wide eyes, frozen at the sight.

Security rushed around the two of us and I felt myself go numb to everything that was going on around me. Bill removed his hands and wrapped them around the back of his chair. Tom had finished with Bianca and was standing with the bodyguards, his face full of concern. Bianca just rolled her eyes and walked up behind Tom. Tapping him on the shoulder she said, "Call me in the morning. I really don't need to deal with this right now." She said in her bitchiest voice and quickly left the scene.

I think I was in shock at what had happened, and I also was _very_ drunk, so I kind of became unresponsive. David examined my hand that was laying limp against my side and quickly said, "She needs to be taken to the Emergency room." Security gently picked me off Bill and lifted me into a cradled position in his arms. I lay limp in his arms, just staring at the ceiling above me. I didn't even flinch when my glass ridden hand was swung into the table. Taking a table napkin, they wrapped my hand that was bleeding profusely in it, to suppress it some. I didn't know how much glass I had in my hand, but I knew it was a lot, and that tomorrow it was really going to hurt.

Bill began to freak out as security took me out of the club. "Is she ok?! Oh God, did I hurt her?" Security ignored him and yelled at people to move out of the way. The people stared at us and the immidately started taking out their cell phones making to tell their friends what happened, to call the media or take more pictures of the sight. The fan girls tried to rush around the twins that stood between the security guards, but could never quite get to them. David and Tom stood on either side of Bill and supported his drunken body out of the club.

Somehow it seemed to be even louder outside then it was inside. The media was already here and questions and flashes were flying everywhere. I closed my eyes and let my head fall over into the security's chest, not wanting to be seen right now.

A few minutes later I was in our Escalade, still laying in the security arms. Silent tears escaped my eyes. I felt numb and responsive due to the alcohol. I turned my head and looked at the twins. Bill was laying in Tom's arms, shaking and repeating over and over that it was his fault. He thought I was going to die.

Honestly what was happening was not that big of deal, but because we were both so drunk, everything seemed magnified. I really couldn't even think straight and had no idea what was going on anymore. Tom's eyes glazed over and he wiped at them. It's amazing what alcohol could to someone. It could make you feel something for someone you don't actually feel. Make you care about someone or something that doesn't matter. In my normal state of my mind, I would have _never_ kissed Bill. I betrayed Carol. One of my best friends. You don't do that. You don't kiss your friends boyfriend or EX boyfriend.

The last thing I remembered before blacking out was Tom whispering to Bill, "She's going to be fine Bill. She has to be."

* * *

**Hey guys! I hope you liked this update! Longest chapter so far! And by far the most frustrating. I had saved it and then my computer decided to freeze so I lost some of it and had to re-write some of it. So… did you like it?**

**Sorry if the spelling and grammer is a bit off. I didn't have a chance to "spell check" it because my computer kept freezing. **

**Thank you for all the reviews and the "UPDATE NOW!s. I love em!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Oh my God…" I groaned and placed a hand on my forehead as I began to wake up. My other hand felt oddly weighed down by something, but I was too tired to care at the moment. "My head…" I had the worst, pounding headache and felt extremely nauseas.

"Theirs a trashcan on the side of the bed."

"What do I need a trashcan for?" I mumbled, not even realizing there was somebody else in the room.

"Just in case you need to-" At that instant their was a gagging sensation at the back of my throat, and before I knew it my eyes were open and I was leaning over the bed, my head in the trash can.

"Throw up." I heard some amusement in the voice and that did not make me happy.

As soon as I had finished, what I thought to be the entire contents of my stomach, I looked up from the trashcan while wiping my mouth. Tom was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed smirking. "Glad to see you're finally awake. You must feel like crap."

"Yea." I rolled back onto the bed and took in my surroundings. I was back in my hotel room. Glancing at the clock I noticed it to be about three in the afternoon. That was fairly obvious with the amount of sunshine pouring into my room. "Did you open the curtains?"

"Yes."

"Can you please close them? It's too bright in here."

"No. You'll go back to sleep. It's time to wake up."

"Jerk." I then remembered the odd weighty feeling on my hand. I looked down to see my left hand all bandaged up. Thick, white bandages at that. Even my ring finger and middle finger were bandaged up. "What the hell?"

"What do you remember from last night?" Tom slowly came towards me and stopped a few feet from the bed.

"Umm… I was with Haley, then you came and asked me to go the club with you guys-"

"Because Bill wanted you to come."

"Fine. Whatever. Anyway… we went to the club, had a few drinks then um… I made out with bill," My face flushed red and I swear I saw Tom flinch, " and then something happened with my hand… flashes everywhere… a car… and um… that's it."

"You don't remember anything else?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Um… no."

"Well let me finish it for you." Tom sat down at the edge of my bed and made himself comfortable.

"Wait I wanna sit up." I attempted to sit myself up, but it didn't really happen. What with pounding headache, nauseas stomach, achy body and maybe broken hand, this hangover was killing me. My body felt like a ton of bricks. Funny thing is, that in a few hours I'm going to feel completely normal, except my hand of course.

"Here," Tom rolled his eyes and came forward. "Let me help you." I held out my arms, which he grabbed and pulled me, while pushing on my knees making me slide back and gently hit the headboard.

"Thanks." My face turned red again. I was slightly embarrassed that he had to help me.

He slightly nodded his head and sat down right next to my legs. "Maybe it'll come back to you as I talk. Ok, so after you passed out we took Bill back to the hotel. He barely made it out of car before he threw up." Just hearing that word made me want to heave so I turned over and my head was in the bag. I'm sure Tom looked disgusted. I finished spitting and looked up at Tom again. Yea he looked disgusted.

"Sorry." I mumbled with sigh.

"Um… ok. Well after Bill did his thing I took him up to his hotel room and got him situated while you were rushed to the emergency room with Gustav and David. I wasn't there so Gustav told me what happened."

"Where were you?" I zoned out for a brief moment.

"With Bill."

"Oh yea."

"So they took you into the emergency room, and luckily it wasn't that busy. I guess you only had like a twenty-minute wait or whatever. Apparently it doesn't matter who you, you still gotta wait!" Yea, because we are normal people. "They finally took you into a room-"

"Was I still passed out?"

"Yes until-"

"Until what?"

"Let me finish!"

"Ok. Sorry." I looked down at my hand that was covered in tape, gauze and white bandages. It was big and bulky looking. So unattractive.

"_Anyway_ they took you into the room and the doctor started to remove the pieces of glass from your hand. You _then_ woke up and apparently you started screaming. Gustav said people kept coming into check on you." It was all beginning to come back to me. I remembered the surging pain I felt as the doctor removed each fragment of glass.

"Well that sh!t hurt!" I exclaimed.

"Ah, you remember."

"Yea, now I do, but you can continue. My head hurts too much to think right now."

"The doctor removed it all. Said there were at least three big chunks and tons of little pieces scattered throughout your hand. Very bloody mess I'm sure." Blood… yea glad I don't remember seeing that. Hey don't think I'm afraid of my period, because I'm not. If it's not natural bleeding, then it freaks the hel outta me! "That's when you started throwing up. The sight of blood just made you hurl… all over Gustav…"

"What?!" I jerked forward, but instantly regretted it. Stupid pounding headache.

"Yup. He said he forgives you because you were too gone to realize what was happening." I was gone that night. I remember the pain of the glass being removed, but everything else was fuzzy. I think I kept slipping in and out of sleep.

"Oh great…"

"So yea that pretty much brings you to here. You were brought home from the emergency room and put to bed. Not by me. I was getting my beauty sleep." I rolled my eyes. "David did it. He also put a trashcan next to your bed for when you wake up and want to well… you know." Tom avoided the word so I didn't want to… you know.

"Wait why are you in here?"

"I came in to check on you."

"Check on me?" Why? I thought he didn't care.

"Well someone had to do it! David is off doing business crap and Gustav is still asleep from the long night. Bill is probably still passed out in his room, and Georg is with Haley right now."

My daughter! "Haley! Where is she?!"

Tom sighed, annoyed that he kept having to repeat himself. "I said she is with Georg, and don't worry she's fine. Dunja's been checking up on the two to see that everything has been going allright."

"Have you checked up on her?"

"Not on purpose. I had to talk to Georg and she was there, so I could see that she was fine." I'm sure she attacked Tom with a hug.

"Why didn't you bring her in here?"

"Are you serious Sadie? You were fuking passed out, and you look horrible right now." Thanks Tom. "No kid should have to see her mom like that!" Tom moved off of my bed and went to lean on the wall again.

"Not the first time she has…" I mumbled.

Tom raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"21st birthday. Got wasted, passed out in the kitchen. Haley thought I was dead."

"Seems Bill and Haley have something in common. Both thought you were dead when you were just too drunk to function."

I was quiet before speaking up again. "How's Bill?"

"Sadie, you really need to keep up with me. Like I said, Bill is passed out. Nothing more to know. Probably will be waking up soon, just like you."

"Were you watching me sleep?" How long had Tom been in my room?

"No. I just walked in about two minutes before you woke up. I was just seeing that you all right."

"How thoughtful Tom." I smiled.

"No. Just doing my good deed of the day." My smile faded and I closed my eyes. Good to know that Haley was all right. Now I just gotta get myself better. I felt like drifting off to sleep when I smelled… smoke? I opened my eyes to see Tom with a lit cigarette in his mouth. "Are you really smoking right now?!"

Tom shrugged, "Yea." And took another puff.

"This is a non smoking room!"

"Sadie… I'm Tom fuking Kaulitz! I can do whatever the hel I want." He smirked and flicked the butt, sending ashes to the ground.

"Well stop!"

"Why?" Another puff.

"Because you're not allowed too! What about the hotel?" We have rules to abide by, no matter who we are.

"Screw the hotel. I'll pay for whatever damage, if any damage, is done."

I couldn't believe him. "What about the people in the other rooms. You know, the vents _connect_."

"Relax Sadie! It's one cigarette!"

"Ah! Can you just uh… go on the patio?"

"Well why didn't you say so?" He smirked and headed off in the direction of it.

"Asshole!" I said frustrated and crossed my arms, avoiding my hand of course.

"That's what they tell me." He called before stepping outside.

I rubbed my temples, with the one good hand, and sighed. Stupid Tom. Can be such a jerk. _ You look horrible right now._ I had to know what he meant, so I slowly sat up and made my way to the bathroom. My head still felt heavy, but I managed. I turned on the bathroom light and looked in the mirror. I didn't look horrible! I looked hideous! My normally straight hair was starting to curl and sticking up in odd directions. My Smokey eyes, looked too Smokey. Dark smudges of eyeliner all down my face. My eyes were blood shot red and I looked tired. Very tired. Big bags under my eyes.

"I look like crap. Not fit to see day light again." I muttered right before the gagging feeling at the back of my throat started again. I suddenly was on my knees, my head in the toilet, throwing up my guts. I felt two calloused; yet soft hands pull my hair back and out of the way. I finished but kept my head in the toilet, too tired to move.

"See, I'm not a complete asshole." Tom said and gently let go of my hair.

"Whatever." I groaned and felt it coming up again, and luckily Tom grabbed my hair again. He was being nice I guess. I mean, he could've let my hair fall into the toilet water full of the contents of my stomach. But he didn't. He cared enough to help.

Five minutes later I was sitting on the sink, my back to the mirror, with a cold washcloth on my head, that Tom was holding on for me. "I guess…"

"Hmm?"

"I guess you're not a complete asshole." I gave a slight smile, and Tom gave one back.

***

Carol had barely walked out of the terminal, when FLASH, cameras started going off and people were suddenly yelling at her. Carol stared at the paparazzi dumbfounded. She'd never had this type of welcoming before.

"Carol! Carol! Are you mad that Bill cheated on you with Sadie?" Those words slapped her in the face. She had no idea what the paparazzo was talking about. "Are you going to dump him?! Isn't Sadie your best friend? What does this do for your relationship with Bill? How does it feel to know that your boyfriend felt up another girl?!"

Carol continued to look confused as she walked through the airport, until a picture was shoved in her face. She came to halt and grabbed the picture, not believing what she was seeing. The paparazzi swarmed around her and tried to catch her reaction to the picture. It was a mixture of pain, sadness, and anger.

Suddenly security swooped in and grabbed her arm, dragging her away from the screaming and flashy crowd. She was led to the car and was told that her bags had already been put in the back. Carol was still holding on to the picture and still couldn't believe what she saw. Looking up from the picture and out the window, tears filled her eyes as the car drove her to Bill and I.

***

An hour later I was in Bill's room, feeling better, but definitely not my best. Bill was standing in the mirror messing around with his hair, trying to get it to look half decent. "I look like sh!t."

"I can see that." Tom smirked. He was sitting in a chair playing his guitar.

Bill turned and glared at Tom, before turning back and giving a frustrated sigh. "I hate my hair!"

"At least you can wash it!" I was sprawled out on his bed watching the two guys. Yea, I can't wash my hair, or take a shower for that matter! Since I have stitches in my hand, the doctor doesn't want me to risk getting soap or any type of chemical in it. So that means, sponge baths. That's gonna take forever! And who is going to help me with my bra? Am I going to have to wear the same one?! Good thing is, it'll only be for a few days, but that's a few days too long!

"Thank God!" Bill exclaimed and stood back to admire his work. "Eh… it'll do."

I hadn't really tried to fix myself up yet. No point. Not like I'm going anywhere. Bill and I have been acting like nothing happened between us last night. Something did though, and we were going to have to talk about it… soon. "I need to see Haley." I started to get up from the bed, but Tom stopped me.

"She's sleeping right now. She'll be up later." Aww… Tom doesn't want me to wake her up. He wants to let her sleep. The boy does have a heart!

"Tom why are you ok?"

"What?" He looked up from his guitar and continued to play.

"I mean like, why aren't you hung over?" The boy seemed fine. He even looked pretty cute today too in all black clothes and white beanie.

Tom laughed. "Because I didn't have as much to drink as you and Bill. Yes I was drunk, but not like you too." He smirked. "I was a bit preoccupied."

"Yea… I know…" I rolled my eyes, and remembered the scene that had made me so mad and want to break the cup. I wanted to squash Bianca like the stupid little bug she was and then rub her guts in cow sh!t.

"I can hold my alcohol unlike you." And then looked at Bill. "And like you."

"Hey! I can hold mine too!" Bill exclaimed and Tom let out a small laugh. "For the most part!"

"Right." Tom continued to play, not wanting to start a fight with Bill.

I looked at the two and smiled. So alike, yet so very different. Tom being there for me earlier today really did lift my mood. I mean yea, I was hung over, and I still currently am, but my mood was better then it had been in ages! I just hoped that this was the beginning of something new for us. A new beginning is what we needed. "Hey Tom?"

"Yea?" His fingers strummed each string lightly.

"Thanks… for helping me today." It came out a little timid but I was glad I said it.

Tom looked up from his guitar and smiled, genuinely. "No problem."

Suddenly the door to Bill's room opened and in walked a tear stricken Carol. She flung a picture at us and quietly said, "Really guys? I can't believe you two."

I looked at the picture on the floor and gasped. It was a picture of Bill and I. A picture of Bill and I kissing. A picture of Bill and I kissing with his hands up my shirt. My eyes met Bill's, before we both looked down guiltily.

* * *

**Well there ya go guys! Sorry for the long wait! Big weekend coming up for me(Dance performance)! Been stressing out about it. **

**Uh-oh… looks like Bill and Sadie are in trouble! And Tom is beginning to be nice to Sadie again! Seems like he cares! Or is it just a façade? **

**I hope you guys are likeing the story! And your reviews are amazing and make me smile! :) **

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**Some of you have read it, some of you haven't. But if you get tired of waiting for me to update, check out my one shot! "To Hear His Voice One Last Time." It's sad :'( But I'm sure you'll like it lol**

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	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

I could feel her gaze fall on Bill and I, and boy, did it burn. I had no idea what to say! What, was I suppose to be like 'I'm sorry for making out with your boyfriend on accident. Won't happen again.' Oh please! I could never get off that easily!

"Carol, they were both not really feeling like themselves at-"

"Shut up!" Carol shouted at Tom. "Don't defend them!"

"I'm not defending them! I'm just sayin' it how it is." Tom shrugged and backed up against the wall, crossing his arms, trying to look like Carols outburst hadn't surprised him.

"I don't want to hear from you, I want to hear from _them!_"

"Uh…" Bill spoke up. "Sorry…"

"Is that all you have to say?! I trusted you Bill! I trusted you, even when I knew you were getting close to Sadie! I shouldn't have though." Her voice quieted. "I shoulda known when you broke one of our dates to be with _her_." She practically spit out that "her".

"Carol, it's not like that at all!" I really wish she hadn't started to shout. My pounding headache was just starting to fade.

"Really? Because that's what it looks like!" She kicked the picture, sending it right at the base of my feet. I looked like I was practically eating Bill's mouth, while really I was just biting his tongue ring. He had his hands up his shirt and it was _very_ obvious as to what he was doing. My hands were wrapped around his neck and tugging on his hair. His hips were in a slight "up" position as I straddled him.

"Oh my God…" We totally looked like we were enjoying every second of our time 'together'. I knew it was bad, but I didn't know it was this bad! My face grew red and I found myself looking anywhere but that picture.

Bill shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat. "Carol that wasn't meant to happen."

"You know what this looks like Bill? Revenge! I cheated you, so now you cheat on! With my best friend no less!"

"Hey! I know you didn't cheat on me! Why the hell would I be trying to get back at you?"

"I didn't say that you really were, but that's what the media is going to think!"

"Well fuk the media!" Bill exclaimed. "Who cares what they say!"

"I do! I have to live with it."

"Well so do I! We all do!"

"Yea!" I piped up. "Everyone's going to put me on blast about this!"

Carol crossed her arms. "Well it's your own dam fault!"

"What?"

"IF you didn't go around whoring yourself all the time, maybe this wouldn't happen!"

My eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

"First with Sean-" I tried to cut in but she continued. "Then with Tom! And look! Now you have a kid!" I wanted to say that it was out love, not out of lust, but she still continued. "Last night with Bill! Oh! And that time when Sean was over at your house a few weeks ago!" I didn't see it, but Tom instantly perked up and looked at me with wide eyes.

"WHAT THE FUK?!" I practically jumped off the bed, even though it didn't help my headache, and yelled in her face. "I was fukin raped! Why the hell would I be messing around with him!"

"Oh please! You practically reeked of sex, and I wasn't the only one to notice it!" She threw a look at Bill, who refused to look at me.

Oh my God! My heart started to race, and I could already feel myself start to sweat, but I had to keep my cool. I looked her straight in the eye and calmly said, "You better shut the fuk up. You have no idea what you're talking about. Just because _you_ can't get a guy to sleep with you doesn't mean you have to start making stories up about me."

And that's when I felt her hand connect with my cheek and painful sting to go along with it. The whole room went completely silent, as I stood there stunned, coming to terms with what had just happened. "You bitch!" I yelled out suddenly and pushed her back, sending her towards the wall. Tom caught her, much to my dismay, and wrapped his arms around her so she couldn't fight back. Searing pain went through my bandaged hand, and I instantly regretted pushing her.

"Don't ever touch me again!" Carol screamed, trying to get away from Tom, but he was too strong.

"Well then don't ever say sht like that again!" I started to move in on Carol, and that's when I felt Bill grab my arm, and roughly pull me against him. "Let go of me Bill! And watch the hand!"

"No. You two just need to calm down!" Bill restrained my other arm, being careful not to grab onto my hand.

"Fighting won't solve anything." Tom said, still holding on to Carol.

"Well it will definitely help me feel better about myself!"

I rolled my eyes at Carol's last comment, and glared at Bill. "Can you please let go of me?"

Bill looked at me warily. "If you promise not to hurt her in any way…"

"Done." He immediately released me but I knew that if I took one step towards Carol, he would have me in his death like grip again. For a skinny white boy, the boy was strong!

"Why Sadie?" Carol's voice was back to normal, and I could see Tom letting up on his grip a little.

I snapped my head at her. "What?"

"You can have _any _guy out there, and yet you choose Bill…" She almost sounded, sad.

"Carol." I breathed. "It was not meant to happen. I swear. I mean, yea, there were a few times where I wished Bill would've just kissed me," Both Bill and Tom's eyes widened, " but that's just because I was feeling lonely, and Bill was being so sweet that sometimes I mistook his sweetness for other things.

"You wanted me to kiss you?" Bill's voice came out hesitant and he sat down on the bed, staring at Tom. Tom was looking at the ground, his face hard, no emotion showing.

"Yea, but I see now how that ruined everything. I mean, it's obvious we weren't meant to be anything…" I wanted to crawl in a hole and die, at least till I got over this embarrassment.

"So last night wasn't on accident?" Tom asked, out of the blue. I wasn't really expecting to hear him talk during this discussion.

"Last night _was _on accident. I seriously had no idea that was going to happen. And like I said, sometimes I wish Bill 'd kissed me. I don't think that all the time though. I guess it was just a phase I was going through."

"Sadie, we're best friends. A best friend would _never_ do that." Tom had finally let go of Carol.

"Yea, well sometimes friends make mistakes." I gritted my teeth, mad that she didn't understand like I hoped she would.

"I don't know why the hel you even went to a club with Bill, knowing the way you feel about him, and knowing there was going to be alcohol there! Red flags should've gone up!"

"Carol! I told you! It wasn't meant to happen! I was hoping to go to a club with my friends and drink and have a little fun. That 'fun' did NOT include making out with Bill! I'm _sorry_ I got drunk! I'm sorry that I ever went to club with them. And I'm sorry for ever feeling something for Bill!" I huffed, and sat on the bed next to Bill. Of course keeping a good space between us. In just a few hours, everything is going to be awkward.

"I don't believe you." She straight out said. "You went to that club with the intentions of getting Bill."

"You know what? Fine! Believe what you want to! Apparently to you I'm just a stupid slut who goes around sleeps with every boy that is willing to!"

"Even the ones who raped you, which I'm beginning to think he didn't actually do. You wanted it." She smirked, knowing exactly the kind of reaction I would have. Bill knew too, and grabbed my arm quickly, restraining me from pounding the bich's face in. This time he wasn't strong enough as I had pulled away from and was very close to doing some permanent damage to Carol, before Tom grabbed me. He stepped out from behind Carol, grabbed my arms and did some twisty thing so that my back was now to his and his arms wrapped around my front. "Let me go Tom!" My bandaged hand was in between Tom and I, and it hurt like hell.

"No. You need to fuking calm down." He whispered in my ear. "We're leaving." He started to drag me towards the door, and sadly I couldn't put up much of a fight seeing as he was so much bigger and stronger then I was.

"No! Let the bich talk!" I screamed, squirming around, unsuccessfully I might add.

Tom didn't respond. He continued to pull me until we were out of the room. As soon as the door was shut, he let go of me. I instantly jumped away from and started pounding on Bill's door like a manic. "Let me in! We're not done!" Pain continued to surge, but I didn't care right then. I just wanted to beat Carol up.

"Give it a rest Sadie." Tom sighed. "You're not going back in there."

"That bich thinks she can talk sht on me?! Well guess again!" I continued to pound on Bill's door until a door down the hall way opened.

It was Gustav. "Sadie, please. I've been up with you all night. Let me get my sleep before I have to get up for rehearsals this evening."

It was like something clicked in me, and I suddenly calmed down. "Sorry." I muttered and backed away from the door. Gustav gave me a long look, before turning around and heading back into his room.

"You done?"

I nodded at Tom. "For now. Here." I handed him my room key from my pocket. He took it because I was too lazy, and opened the door. I followed him inside and slumped down on the floor at the base of my bed. "I feel like sht… physically and mentally." I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

Tom studied my face. "Does it hurt? It's still a little red."

"Still?" I touched my face and winced. She got me good and for a moment I wished I had gotten her good too.

Tom went into the bathroom and grabbed the same washcloth he had just used a few hours ago for my head, wetted it and tossed it to me. "Here." He squatted down and brushed the hair away from my face. "I didn't know you liked my brother." His voice was calm and I could detect a bit of sadness in it.

I hung my head and sighed. "I don't… not really. He was just a… nice distraction." All my energy, the little energy I had gained, was drained. I let my go of my knees with my good arm and let them hit the floor. I remembered my injured hand and looked at it. I may have ripped opened a few stitches, seeing as the bandage was turning red. "This sucks. Did the doctor prescribe me any pain killers?"

"Yea." Tom popped up and disappeared back into the bathroom. Why couldn't life be easy? Why did it have to be filled with this stupid drama crap? He returned with a glass of water and a big white pill.

"Thanks." I took both items and did what I was suppose to and then handed Tom back the glass, who just sat it down next to me. "I didn't mean to kiss Bill. It just happened…"

"I believe you."

I looked at Tom disbelievingly, "You do?"

"Yea." He crouched and then sat down next to me, throwing an arm around my shoulder. That caught me off guard, as my eyes widened and stared at his arm around me. "Relax." He chuckled and squeezed my shoulder. "I know you don't really like Bill, because you still have the hots for me." I rolled my eyes but was very surprised that he had suddenly brought up the past. Apparently Tom had just realized what he said and quickly changed the subject. "So… what is this I hear about you and Sean?"

Ah hell.

**Hey guys! Sorry if it wasn't all that interesting! Things should get more exciting once I bring Bianca and Sean back into the story! I like Tom and Sadie being nice to each other. Oh and I hope it flowed well enough!**

**Remember to check my twitter! I frequently post on their what's up and when updates are coming! Twitter. com /TKaulitzfanfics**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter15**

"Sean? What about Sean?" Tom's arm rested around my shoulder, my body tense as I tried to figure out what I was going to say.

"Yea… He was at your place?"

"Umm… yea. He was just visiting." That didn't sound too suspicious.

Apparently Tom was suspicious and raised an eyebrow. "Just _visiting_ huh…"

"Mhmm… well I mean it's been like almost three years. I'm kind of over what happened…" Which I am not by the way. I just didn't want Tom to know that. I really don't feel like talking about _that_ part of my past. Actually, I don't ever want to talk about it again.

"So now you guys are just… friends?"

I nodded. "Yup.

Tom sighed and dropped his arm from shoulder, bringing it back to cross his arms. "Why? I don't understand how you could be friends with that _fuker_ after he-"

"Tom, I don't want to talk about it." I said quickly, not wanting that certain word to come up. I act like it doesn't get to me, but it does. I don't want to relive the memory in my head if I don't have to.

"But Sadie-"

"I can be friends with whoever the hel I wanna be with."

"Sadie he hurt you!"

"And _others_ have hurt me as well." My voice had gone cold. "But obviously I give second chances."

Tom looked down at the floor and fiddled with fingers. "You… you give everyone second chances?"

"I shouldn't," It was pretty obvious Tom was talking about himself. "But I do."

He looked back up at me. "Even the ones who fuked up pretty badly?" He spoke in barely a whisper, but I heard him.

A moment of silence passed between us before I answered. "Even them." I could see Tom's body begin to relax, but then quickly tense up again. "But they have to work for it. I don't give second chances freely." He nodded with understanding, that part of the conversation clearly over with. I wasn't sure as to what I should be feeling. Should I be happy that Tom is going to try and make up for what he did? Or should I act like a bitch and never forgive him? I wanted to pretend this never happened, that things could go back to normal. Not the best friends normal, but the two best friends that were in love normal. I hated the fact that Tom and I were together again, but we weren't even really friends. Just two people forced to get a long for the sake of others. Does he even really mean it? Does he want to try again?

Tom's phone vibrated in his pocket. A new text message. "Umm… Sadie?"

"Hmm?" He held out his phone to me so I could read the screen. It was from Georg.

_So uh Carol has Haley now. Apparently I don't know how to take care of a child. I have no idea where she is going. _

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I jumped up from the floor, not realizing how fast I had, until a wave of dizziness crashed on me and I almost fell to the floor. Tom's reflexes were quick, so he was able to get up quickly and catch me. "Stupid hangover…" I groaned and clutched my head. "When will it go away?"

"I'm sure it won't be for that much longer." Tom said and led me to the bed.

I sat down and could feel my hand throbbing, the bandage not looking any better. Oh yea! Haley! "She has my daughter!" I yelled, trying to get up again, but Tom gently restrained me.

"Sadie, you really need to just get over this hangover before you do anything. It hasn't been in your favor at all today."

"But she has my kid!" I yelled, tears coming to my eyes. Oh great. Now I'm getting emotional. Ladies and gentlemen, never drink to get drunk. It just makes you do stupid things, and then the hangover comes and ruins your entire day, and makes you feel like crap and get upset easily.

"Sadie it'll be ok." Tom rubbed my back comfortingly.

"What if she hurts Haley?" I sniffed and let the tears fall. I feel like I'm on my period, times a hundred!

"Do you really think Carol would do that?"

"No… but why would she take her?"

"I'll call her." Tom stood up from the bed and walked out onto the balcony, lit a cigarette and called Carol. I fell back onto my bed miserably and sighed. One stupid kiss with Bill. That's all it was, and yet the situation is being made out like I slept with him or something. I don't even want to think what would happen if I did… Carol would probably shoot me! Ok, maybe not… but still!

Tom dropped his cigarette and smashed it into the ground before coming back in. Clearing his throat he said, "Well, I just talked to Carol."

"Apparently the only reason she took Haley was because Georg needed a break. You know he's been watching her since yesterday right?"

I sat up right. "She still could've asked!" Ooo! Head rush. I clutched my forehead and sighed, hoping that this stupid hangover was almost over. I need to get back to watching my kid! "Well, if he wanted a break why didn't he just ask?"

"Maybe because you were either passed out or throwing up your guts?"

"You could have watched her then!" He seemed perfectly fine. No hangover, enough sleep, no drama to deal with, fine.

Apparently the thought never entered his head because it looked like it had just dawned on him. "Oh… well I no nothing about watching a toddler!"

"There's not much to it. Just make sure she's clean, fed and doesn't hurt herself."

"Isn't that your job?"

"What? Why is it my job?!" Since when does the women do everything for their kid?

"Because you're the mother."

"And you're the father!" … Complete silence filed the room. Tom looked like I had just thrown a rock at him. His face blank, eyes wide.

_Cricket. Cricket._

"I have to go." And with that, Tom was gone.

"Great! Just when he was beginning to talk to you again!" I sighed and lay back on my again. "Way to make things awkward…"

***

Ya know, I really thought with the whole 'And you're the father!' comment would make things awkward between Tom and I again, but they weren't. Within twenty minutes he was back to normal. As if it never happened! Well, as normal as things have been between the two of us lately. I had to sit next to him in the car on the way to the venue and we we're fine. We didn't talk much, but there wasn't that thick tension that you could cut with a knife. No tension at all. He did touch my butt though. Only because he was looking for his phone, or was he… Just thought you should know.

"Tom, concentrate! Bring your mind back to the song you are playing! And Bill, where is your enthusiasm? Where is that boy who is always all over the stage?"

I was sitting back in one of the stray chairs scattered in the venue watching David Jost yell at the twins. Although, I don't think it was doing much good. They were practicing _Pain of Love_ and umm yea. It wasn't sounding too great. Every few seconds Tom would play the wrong note, resulting in it sounding like a completely different song. And Bill… wow. Could the boy sound any more monotone? He even hit a few off key notes… while sounding monotone! Georg and Gustav were playing their parts well, so therefore they didn't have to get yelled at.

"Guy's… we have three days… _three_ days until the tour starts. With the way you two are playing and singing right now I'm almost ready to cancel the whole thing!" Out of nowhere a drumstick came hurling through the twins and almost hit me. I looked past them to see a very pissed off Gustav.

"You stupid idiot!" Bill shouted. "You almost hit me!"

"Well sing the song right!" Gustav then looked at Tom. "And play the damn notes you are suppose to!"

"I'm sorry none of us can be as perfect as you Gustav." Tom hissed and turned away from Gustav. I could hear everything they were saying because their head set mics were on.

"Lay off, Tom." Georg threw his head back and groaned.

"What?" Tom snapped his head towards Georg. "Gustav threw a drum stick at me!"

"You mean at me!" Bill chimed in.

"You idiots!" Gustav got up from his spot in the back, "It wasn't meant to hit either of you!" And joined everyone at the front of the stage.

"Guys!" David interjected before another comment – or drum stick – was thrown. "Ok, Bill and Tom, you two know exactly how to play and sing the song correctly, so do that! Yes, I know some things happened last night," He briefly glanced at me, and I looked down at my lap in embarrassment. "But let's not take it out on the tour ok? Let's use this as an excuse to get away from it. Ok?"

A few agreements were mumbled before everyone was back at their specific spots on stage.

Gustav counted off on his drumsticks and the song began again… sounding a whole lot better then a few minutes ago. Tom wasn't really in his guitar groove and Bill still looked bored singing, but at least the song itself sounded good!

"Mommy!"

I turned around in my chair to see Haley squirming to get out of Carol's arms. As soon as she was down, she bounded up to me with a smile plastered on her face and hugged my legs. "Mommy!"

"Haley!" I laughed picking her up and hugged her tightly, shifting all her weight onto my right arm, avoiding my injured left hand.

"I missed you mommy!" Haley giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I missed you too!"

She then pulled away, a frown in place instead of the smile. "Why did you leave me?"

"I didn't mean to on purpose. I got sick last night."

"What happened?" Her voice was sad as she reached out to touch my hair.

"Do you remember that time when you were so sick that you were throwing up breakfast?" Haley nodded. "Well that's what happened to me last night. I got sick and threw up."

She gasped. "Did Tomi make you sick?!"

Haley frowned when I laughed at her comment. I couldn't help it though! She's so cute sometimes! "What?"

"Um… Tomi came over member? After that I don't see you no more."

"I didn't see you anymore" I corrected. "Yes, he did come over, but he didn't get me sick."

"Well how then?" She cocked her head to the side cutely. I could see that Georg tried to do something with her ratty hair, like comb it out and put a bow in it, but it just looked worse then before. Ahh… tonights going to be fun combing out those knots. I wonder if I can even do that with one hand? It was then she noticed my hand. "Mommy! Oh no!" She pointed and covered her mouth.

I laughed and kissed her cheek. "I'm fine honey. Don't worry about me."

"Ok." She smiled. Instantly forgetting her worries, she concentrated on the band on stage behind me.

"So…I'm surprised that you actually brought her back in one piece." I said to Carol, who was now standing in front of me, arms crossed.

"Excuse me? Are you insinuating that I don't know how to take care of a child?"

"We'll you certainly don't know how to take care of your relationship with Bill." I put Haley down, who just ran to the stage to watch, and crossed my arms, dead hand gently tucked under.

"What does Bill have to with this? He shouldn't even be in this conversation!"

"Girls!" David snapped. "Outside!"

"Fine." I sighed. "I'll be good." I didn't really want to go outside. Paparazzi everywhere, plus it was cold. "I don't know about this one over here…" I jerked my head at Carol.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up."

***

I had dinner with the band halfway through their practice. It was some vegetarian dish that the twins liked. I can't believe after almost three years, they are still vegetarians. Yea uh, not me. I love me some hamburger and am a happy carnivore! I appreciate all the yummy animals that God put on this earth for us to eat.

Dinner was a bit awkward for me. Well, for Bill and Carol too. Maybe even Tom. He had to live with the fact that his brother had made out with his ex girl friend that he impregnated. Haley, however, complained the entire meal. She had a bite of my bite of my vegetarian delight and spit it out, barley missing Gustav. "I want French fries!" She said after I wiped off her mouth. "That stuff," She pointed at my dish. "Is yucky! French fries!"

I didn't like it much either, but at least I was trying to eat it. "We'll get you French fries and chicken nuggets back at the hotel ok?"

"Yay!" She squealed and clapped her hands like Bill. Oh great… she's picking that up.

I barley made eye contact with the twins or Carol. I kept my conversation going on with Gustav and Georg. A few times during the meal I had caught Bill and Tom staring at me. I would just act like I didn't notice and continue to eat the amazing (not) food. I groaned inwardly, knowing that one-day, very soon, we would have to talk about the whole matter. Not like we did earlier in Bill's hotel room.

***

After stopping by McDonalds (nasty, and unhealthy) for Haley, I was ready to get some much-needed sleep. Oh yea, the band doctor came by when Haley was eating to check on my hand and change the bandages. He was a little upset that I hadn't called him earlier when the bleeding increased. Remember when I was pounding on Bill's door to get Carol out? Gently taking off the old bandages, the doctor examined my hand, and to my delight none of the stitches had ripped. He wrapped my hand in a new bandage and said he would stop by sometime the next day to change it again.

There was still that problem about getting my bra off…

_Knock! Knock!_

I got up off my bed and made my way to the door, glancing at Haley who was outside blowing bubble on the patio.

"Oh! Hi Tom." Wasn't expecting to see him here.

"Hi. I think I left my phone in here…"

"Really? Umm ok you can check." I stepped aside to let him pass and shut the door gently.

A moment or two later Tom had found his phone. It was sitting on the nightstand. Funny how I didn't even notice it there.

"I got it. Thanks…" Tom turned to the door when I called his name.

"Tom. I wanted to ask you something."

"Ok."

I didn't know how to phrase it well so I just said it. "I saw you out on the balcony the other night. You looked… upset." And miserable and had tears running down your face.

"You were there?"

"Mhmm. Couldn't sleep. Craving a cancer stick."

Before Tom could even reply, my door was swung open and in marched a fuming Bianca. "What are you doing in here with this slut?!"

I guess I didn't shut the door all the way…

* * *

**So I made this chapter longer then usual for you guys. I hope you are liking the way this story is unfolding. I know it's surprising me and I'm the author! I'm very sorry for the late update. I have my reasons. And I'll try not to say "I'm updating!" unless I really mean it. **

**Hey some of you need to make accounts. Because you guys ask me questions, but I have no way of responding because you don't have an actual account, and I want to :) **

**Oh and a BIG thank you to** _BurnedAfterReading_. **She has found ANOTHER stupid plagiarizer! Thank you sooooo much!**

**You guys are the best readers in the world! I couldn't have asked for better ones! Here, have a cookie *hands out cookies***

**To the person who called me a bitch for not updating, you don't know the shit I go through at my house EVERY single day. I REALLY don't need to hear it from one of my readers. I have reasons as to why I don't update when I say I'm going to. One reason is because I have carpal tunnel syndrome. ****A nerve disorder that causes pain, loss of feeling and loss of strength in the hands. Sometimes I can't update because pain just pops up out of nowhere. It's hard to type when your fingers are hurting. I have many other reasons as to why I can't update as fast as I would like to. ****Thank you for the compliments, but calling me a bitch was not needed.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I ignored her comment. "You just walk into peoples rooms without knocking?"

"Umm the door was cracked!" Bianca looked at Tom. "Again, what the hel are you doing in here with this slut?"

I didn't give Tom a chance to respond. "Look whose talking!"

Bianca put a hand on her hip, bitchyness radiating off her. "Excuse me?"

My eyes narrowed. "You heard me."

"Umm who was the one being groped by Bill?"

"Who was the one being fuked in public?!" I shouted at her. The room went silent. Face turning red, Tom looked down at the carpet, avoiding eye contact with me. Ha, I knew how to shut up the bitch.

"Mommy!" Haley yelled from out on the patio. She was outside blowing bubbles when Tom had come by. I sighed, even though I was greateful for the distraction, and headed out to the patio. Glancing at Tom, I could see him stuffing his hands into his pocket uncomfortably.

"What is it honey?" I found Haley looking down at the ground with her bottom lip sticking out.

"I spilled my bubbles." She whimpered, tears forming in her eyes.

"You did?" I squatted down next to her and saw an empty plastic bottle laying in a puddle of soapy water. "How did that happen?"

"I don't know…" Haley sniffed and rubbed her eyes. About ten seconds later she started to scream and rub her eyes harder. "Ow!" My eyes shot up from the puddle and pulled her hands away from her eyes. Well actually I used my left elbow instead of my left hand, since I currently couldn't use it. They were slowly turning red. About a second later Tom was out on the balcony with us, squatting down to Haley height, eyes full of concern.

"Oh Haley, you got soap in your eyes!" I cried and pulled her hands away from her eyes again so she didn't get anymore in them.

"I'll take care of her." Tom said, reaching out to Haley and picking her up.

"What?" Tom was going to help?

"I'll get rid of the soap in her eyes, just clean up the mess." And with that he was inside with a crying Haley, taking her into the bathroom. I sat there on my heels, a bit dumbfounded, not expecting Tom to do that. I looked back in the room, and didn't see Bianca. My guess was that she was gone. Reaching out, I grabbed the plastic bottle and stood up, looking for the little, yellow, plastic wand. I found it about a foot away from the puddle and grabbed it.

I headed back inside and went straight into the bathroom where Tom had Haley leaning over the sink. He was rinsing her eyes out with water. She was still crying, and sputtered as the water fell down her face. Tom glanced up at me and achnologed that I was there, but then went back to paying attention to Haley. He was standing behind her, holding her against the sink, his arm supporting her waist.

"The pain will go away in a few minutes." Tom muttered to Haley and rinsed her eyes out one more time before turning off the water. He pulled her away from the open sink and then turned her around, sitting her down on the solid counter top.

I almost couldn't believe the sight in front of me. I never thought I would live to see the day that Tom acted like a father. He knew exactly what to do, and he was so gentle about it. As soon as his daughter was hurt, he came to her rescue and saved her. Tom had grabbed a hand towel and was now lightly pressing it against her eyes.

"Feel better?" He asked, as soon as he had dried all the water. He looked genuinely concerned and I was sure that if I was to tell Bill about this, he wouldn't believe me. _'Tom acting like a father? Yea right!' _

"No." Haley shook her head, but wasn't rubbing her eyes anymore. They were bloodshot and made Haley look exhauseted, which I'm sure she really was. It was thirty minutes past her usual bedtime.

"Well what will make you feel better?" I asked, stepping into the bathroom more.

"If Tom stays with me tonight." She sounded timid, almost as if she was bracing herself to hear me say no. She was use to that from me. Haley had asked numerous times if Tom could stay the night. I always said no. Most of the time Bianca was in his bed, and also because I knew it would be awkward if he did. Where would he sleep? Certainly not on the bed with me!

"Haley, you know-"

"I can stay."

"Yay!" Haley squealed.

"What?" I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. _Umm no, you can't._

"I'll stay." He shrugged and looked back at Haley. "I just have to do a few things, but I'll be back ok?"

"Yay!" Haley squealed again and clapped her hands, just like Bill. Bill… I'm going to have to talk to him soon…

Tom grinned and ruffled her hair, "I'll be back soon." And left the bathroom.

I followed him out and said, "What are you doing?" right before he opened the door. I didn't really sound demanding, but I also wasn't very nice about it.

"I uh have to go on Bianca and-"

"I mean why are you staying over?" I crossed my arms, avoiding my injured limb, and looked at him hard.

"Because your kid asked me to." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"_Our_ kid." I corrected. Tom just sighed and shook his head before letting himself out. This was the second time he just left after I reminded him that Haley also belonged to him.

I walked into the bathroom and picked up Haley from the sink. She was waiting for me because with her being only like two feet tall, she was scared to jump down from the sink. That was fine with me though. I'd rather she waited for me rather then jump and might end up hurting herself.

"Do you really like Tom?" I asked and carried her to the bed, my right arm and hip supporting her.

"Yes!" She smiled. "I love Tom!"

"Really?" That was a first. I've _never_ heard her say that she loved someone other then my mom and I. "You do?"

"Mhmm!" She nodded and then looked at the TV. "Can we watch Dora the explorer?"

Wow. One track mind. I laughed and grabbed the TV remote. "I don't think it's on right now. It's like almost midnight. Besides, you need to get to sleep."

"But Tomi's not back yet! Please mommy! I want to watch TV!" She bounced herself up and down in her seated spot on my bed.

"Oh… alright. But you need to get in your jammies first!"

"Yay!" There she goes again doing that Bill hand clap thingy. I decided to let her watch TV because I knew the moving pictures would very soon send her into dream land.

Just as I had somehow got Haley into her jammies (aint that easy when you got one hand) I heard a knock on the door. I opened it to find Tom standing there in just a t-shirt and basketball shorts. He had a sweat shirt in hand. I guess he really was staying the night! "Come on in." I moved aside and let him walk through, closing the door behind him.

Tom turned to look at me. "Thanks for letting me stay the night."

I shrugged. "Well I couldn't really say no. You didn't give me a choice and a Haley wanted you to." I didn't mean for it to come out as bitchy as it did, but it was too late to go back and correct my tone. Tom's shoulders seemed to fall a bit as he turned around, ignoring my comment, and walked into show Haley that he had kept his word.

"Tomi!" She exclaimed and crawled to the front of the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You're here!" Tom was actually staying in my room tonight… great. He ain't sleeping on the bed, that's for sure! I turned and headed into the bathroom, my night clothes already in there, ready for me to change into.

After much struggling, I finally had gotten my shirt off, and a new one on. I left the bra alone, knowing I wasn't going to be able to get it off anyway if I didn't help.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I found Haley against the wall hugging Tom around his waist. Her short arms didn't really make it around was laying down right next to her. I'm guessing Haley didn't give him an option of where he could lay on the bed. I knew that Haley was going to be complaining about the weight of Tom on her arm that was underneath him in just a few minutes. He glanced at me and he looked awkward uncomfortably. I smirked and made my way to my chair. Look's like I won't sleeping on my bed tonight.

"Mommy come on! Sleep over here!" Haley said.

"No. Mommy's good. I'll sleep here tonight." I said as I was unfolding some blankets.

Haley had let go of Tom and was now sitting up in bed, giving me a sad puppy dog. "Please mommy."

I refused to look at her. That look always got me. I've yet to come to a time where it hasn't.

"Mommy!" Haley screamed, knowing that would get my attention.

"Oh fine!" I huffed and dragged my blanket over the full size bed. "But you have Tom tonight."

"I want both of you." She giggled and snuggled back into Tom again, satisfied for the night. I slowly laid down next to Tom, keeping a good foot and half between us. This was saverely awkward. I could feel the tension radiating off him as I sank into the mattress. I laid my injured hand on my stomach and my other right next to my side, as close as it could get. A flashback of one of the last few times I had shared a bed with Tom hit me. I'm guessing Tom just had something similar happen to him because he froze up suddenly, and then moved closer to Haley.

"Well… this is awkward." I said, staring up at the ceiling. Tom just nodded and threw his eyes at the TV that was currently playing a cartoon. I decided to not even try and make conversation with him. The easiest way to get through this night was to pretend that he wasn't there.

"I kicked Bianca out for the night." Hm… well there goes my idea of not talking. "I didn't want to deal with her tonight. She would probably just rant and rave about everything, and I'm really not in the mood to listen to that."

"So you decided to spend time with Haley…"

"Yea. Haley can be a lot cooler then Bianca at times. Well… actually most of the time." Tom and I refused to face each other, but this bit of talking was cutting down the tension just a bit.

"Well I'm sure Haley appreciates it."

***

A few hours later I felt the bed shift from under me. I opened my eyes to see Tom crawling towards the front of my bed and getting off. He grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door. "Tom?" I whispered, glancing at Haley, who was fast asleep. The room was dark. Apparently the TV had gotten turned off when I had fallen asleep. "Where you going?

"Back to my room."

"I thought you were staying here?"

"You really think I would stay the night? Obviously you don't want me here," I think I detected a bit of hurt in his voice. "And besides I'm not sleeping to well anyway. I need to get back to my room."

"What about Haley?"

"What about her? She asked me to stay, now I'm leaving. Whatever."

"Tom I'm pretty sure she wanted you to stay the entire night…"

"Yea well, she'll get over it." He shrugged. "I'm going back to my room. Night."

I sighed and scooted closer to Haley, vaguely smelling Tom on the pillow. I missed the spicy scent that stuck close to him. I closed my eyes to savor in the moment for a few seconds but then remembered the current scene. It's like Tom can only be nice for so long before he turns into an ass hole. Or visa versa.

* * *

**I'm sorry for the long wait guys! I have the next chapter semi written out already, so hopefully it comes out MUCH sooner then this one did. I hope it flows well. I literally wrote this while I was half asleep. My eyes kept closing as I wrote this.**

**Damn did you guys see that outfit that Bill wore for that radio show thing (3/18/10)?! The jeans with the plaid red shirt and beanie. Holy crap I almost fainted when I saw him like that! Bill plus that outfit equals the SEX. **

**Anyways thank you for the loving/demanding reviews! They keep me motivated! You have no idea how glad I am that you guys like this story! In a few weeks I'm going to be posting a youtube video or two with the REAL Bianca and Carol, so you can see them. Yay!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Tomi!... Tomi!" She cried. "Where are you?"

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes with my one good hand and sat up. "Haley, what are you doing?"

Haley glanced at me. "I'm looking for Tomi." She crouched on her knees and looked under the bed. "Tomi?" It was pointless to look under the bed, because underneath was a big, wooden block. It held up the bed, and there was no way anyone could get under there. Maybe if you were the size of a rabbit… and had a bottle that said _Drink me_.

"Haley, Tomi's not here."

Her head shot up in front of the bed. "Where is he?"

"He had to go back to his own room."

"Why?" Haley stood up and basically crawled over the edge of the bed and sat down next to me. "I thought he wanted to stay with me." She pouted, her head down and shoulders low.

"He did!" I had to think quickly. I didn't want Haley to think that Tom didn't like her! "He uh… had to go make a sandwich!" Yea, first thing that popped into my head.

Haley looked at me in shock. "Tomi likes sandwiches?"

"Yea! Remember how you wanted to invite him over sandwiches? Well Tom is practicing how to make one, so that when the day comes to make them, he'll know how!" I pictured myself telling this to a teenager and laughed. They would probably think I'm crazy. But that's what's so great about little kids. They think you are normal.

"Oh." She smiled, "Ok!" and started to crawl away, but didn't get too far. I grabbed her around her waist with my right arm and sat her on my legs. "We have to do something with your hair."

"No!" Haley tried to squirm of my grasp, but I was holding on too tight.

"Yes."

"No!"

"Why don't you want your hair to be nice and pretty?"

"Bill said that if I didn't comb my hair, it would…" She paused to think. "It would turn out like his!"

I looked at her oddly. "Bill told you this?"

"Yea!"

"Oh sweet baby Jesus." I muttered. "Why do you want hair like him?!" I exclaimed.

"It looks cool! Like… snakes!"

"And you want snakes in your hair?!"

"Yes!"

Oh gosh. Bill is corrupting my baby! "You can't have your hair like that Haley."

"Why?" She whined.

"Because only Bill can have hair like that."

"But I want hair like that!"

"No Haley."

"But I want it!" Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes and I knew that she was about to have a fit.

How do I explain this to her without her throwing a tantrum? "Haley, you don't want that hair because… because it's dirty! Who knows what kinds of bugs are living in his hair."

Her eyes widened. "Bugs?"

"Yea bugs! Spiders with _really_ long legs, and fleas that will bite up your face and make you look like a tomato!"

She gasped. "Really?"

"Yea! Now do you want spiders and fleas in your hair?"

"No!" Haley shook her head.

"Then it's best that I comb your hair and make it nice and pretty."

Haley frowned and took a moment to let what I said sink in. "Ok… but I want a yellow bow in my hair!"

"Of course!" I smiled, happy that I ended something before it even started.

"Mommy!" Haley suddenly exclaimed. "I'll wear one of Tomi's hats! You don't have to comb my hair!"

… This is going to be a long morning.

***

I stood outside the hotels conference room. Inside there was woman waiting to interview me. Dawn thought it would be a good way for me to get an official statement out about what happened, and an opportunity for people to be interested in me again. My appearance on Tyra was cancelled due to the fact that I wanted to tour with Tokio Hotel instead. I wasn't that thrilled to be giving an interview. I knew the questions they would ask and the answers they would want. But was I prepared to give them? I don't know. I knew I would feel a lot more comfortable if I had Bill with me. Yes, it would be awkward, but I felt I needed him for this. How am I to answer to for him? I would just have to do my best with the questions, and definitely think before speaking.

The door to the conference room opened revealing two cameramen, and a young woman. I stepped in and sat at my designated seat, just as the young women leaned over to shake my head.

"Hallo. I'm Sally Jaeger." She had bright red hair the color of a fire truck, and pale white skin. Her make up was applied nicely, but her shiny, white teeth totally stood out from the red lipstick that was stained on her mouth. "It's nice to finally meet the famous Sadie Hawkins."

I gave a slight smile and took her hand. "Ya, I've read some of your articles about Tokio Hotel." And hardly any of them were good. Well ok, _some_ of them were. But as you know, the only thing people really want to read about is the Tokio Hotel gossip. So of course she talked about all the rumors with the boys, and sometimes made them even worse! Some she fixed. I had no idea what to expect from this interview with her.

All of the sudden the lights, mics, and cameras were on. The interview was starting. Sally smiled at the camera and said, "I'm here with Sadie Hawkins, actress and best friend of the teeny band," I scoffed inside. "Tokio Hotel." She turned and looked at me. "So where are the boys, and most importantly, where is your daughter. Adorable child by the way."

I gave a fake smile – have a feeling I'll be doing a lot of those today – and laid my injured hand on top of my good one. "Thank you. Well Haley is being watched by one of the staff right now so I can give this interview and the boys are rehearsing for the last time. Tour starts tomorrow."

"Are you excited for this tour?"

"Yes. Very. Been almost three years since I've seen them perform live!"

"What happened in those three years?" She asked, eyebrow rose.

I gave a simple answer. "Life." Short and sweet, and to the point.

"Ah… I see." She must've thought I was referring to Haley, who I was, but I was also meaning that my life went on. "Look, I would love to reminisce with you about the last three years, but I think we both know what were here to discuss today."

Uh oh. Here it comes. "Yes."

Sally smirked and whipped out a photo that was placed underneath her note cards. "Is this you?"

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I kept them still and said, "Mhmm." _No shit Sherlock._

"Can you tell me what it's all about? What happened?"

"Well, this is what happens when you drink too much." Fake giggle.

"Yes, but can you tell us what compelled you to kiss Bill?"

"Um… isn't it obvious? When you're drunk, you tend to do stupid things."

"But why Bill?"

_Because for the past few months I've had this intense urge to kiss the living daylights out of the boy._ "I don't know… I just got to that point where anything looked good to me, and I saw what I wanted and knew I had to have it."

"You know they say old feelings come back when you're drunk…"

"Do they?" I knew what she was hinting at.

"Did you ever have a thing for Bill?"

"Me like Bill?" I laughed, forced of course. "Hell no! I mean yea, the boy is insanely attractive and has an amazing personality, but I've always thought of him as just a friend. And he's also with my best friend Carol."

"Speaking of Carol. How is she? How is she handling the fact that her boyfriend cheated on her?"

"Whoa. Hold up." I frowned. "Bill didn't cheat on her."

"Then what do you call this?" She thrust the picture at me, and it was the same picture Carol had earlier. Ya know, the one with Bill feeling me up.

"Look, he didn't even really know what he was doing! It was all me!"

Sally crossed her legs and leaned in. "So are you saying that you knew what was happening, but you didn't care that you were getting some from your best friends boyfriend?"

"Hell no!" I exclaimed, starting to get flustered. "I'm just saying that my drunken self started everything. If I hadn't, things probably wouldn't have happened."

"So basically you stabbed your best friend in the back?"

"Didn't I just say like a minute ago that I was drunk?" I was clearly annoyed. "I was so out of it, I broke a glass cup in my hand. See!" I held up my bandaged hand for her.

"How did that happen?"

"I don't even know!" Like I was really going to tell her why I broke the cup. "I don't even remember much from that night anyway!"

"How did you feel about Tom being with that one girl? Is that why you went after Bill?"

"Look, will you just fucking drop the subject!" I snapped. I was severely irritated already, and we really didn't need to bring Tom into this. "We either change the subject, or this interview is over."

She was a little surprised by my outburst, but moved on. "Fine." She smiled calmly and picked up her note card. "What's up with you and Tom lately? I remember when you two were younger, you guys were attached at the hip."

"Things change. People change. Tom and I changed."

"What happened to cause this change?

I shook my head. "No comment."

"Ahh… so not only is there a story with you and Bill," She grinned like a little kid who found the golden Easter egg. "But there is also one with you and Tom."

I groaned. "Look, there's no story about me with either of the twins. We're all friends. That's it." I stood up. "This interview is over." I said snootily and turned to leave the room.

***

"You what?!" Bill shrieked and grabbed his dreadlocks. I was standing underneath the stage with Bill. I came over to watch them rehearse after my interview.

"I had an interview today…" I rubbed my arm nervously, thinking maybe it would have been a good idea to wait for Bill.

"What did you tell them?" Bill's eyes were bulging from his head.

"I tried to tell them that what happened was neither of our faults, but I'm thinking I just made the situation worse.

"How much worse?!"

"Well… Sally basically thinks that you, Tom and I all had history together and that I'm a backstabbing best friend who goes after guys that are taken…" It suddenly hit me, the mess I had just caused. "Oh shit…"

"Yea oh shit!" Bill brought his fist to his forehead. "Why didn't you wait for me to say something, or at least wait to talk to me?"

"I'm sorry! Dawn thought it would be a good idea!"

"Well Dawn thought wrong!" Bill began to pace. "Great! Just great! One day before the tour, and we already have the media on our asses!" He suddenly stopped and his eyes widened. "Hey! This could actually work for us!"

"What… like publicity?"

"Exactly! More people that talk about us, more people that show up to the shows. Plus, we can always tell them at the end, it was just a publicity stunt."

"You want to tell the world that it was a publicity stunt?! Bill! Come on!" I exclaimed. "You know how lame and pathetic you would look?"

Bill seemed to understand. "Ok, so we don't tell them it was a publicity stunt, but still! It makes for great press!"

"Oh great." I groaned. "Just what I wanted. To come to Europe and be under the watchful eye of the media."

"Well you made it worse for yourself today."

"You made it sound like I did it on purpose!"

Bill put a hand on his cocked hip "Well did you?"

"What the hell? No!" Oh how I wished I could've made a scene. But I was already being too loud. The workers needed the venue to be quiet at the moment.

"Can you two shut up?" Tom asked. He was coming down the little elevator that was in the middle of the stage. "There trying to sound check and they can't with you two yelling at each other."

'

Just as I was going to respond, my phone began to ring, only I wouldn't be able to get to it fast enough to pick up. It was in my sitting at the very bottom of my deep purse. Stupid hand… "Wanna grab it for me?"

Tom nodded and stuck his hand in, second's later fishing out my cell phone. He glanced, and then did a double take when he saw the caller ID.

"So you and Sean have nothing huh?"

I frowned. "What the hell?" Tom placed the phone in my hand and rolled his eyes.

"Sean huh…" Bill crossed his arms.

I let my phone go to voicemail and stared at the twins. "Why do you care if I talk to Sean?" My phone suddenly vibrated, and without having time to react, Tom grabbed my phone and read the text that had appeared.

Tom seemed to re-read it a few times before he gave it back in my hands. "Ya know…" He sighed. "I really thought better of you Sadie…" He shook his head and clenched his fists before walking away, Bill following.

_Hey babe. I miss you. When can we be together again?_

* * *

**Sean's coming back in the story! Dun dun dun! Oh noez! **

**I'm sorry the wait. I had a pretty crappy weekend, and then right when it ended and I was hoping my week would get better, I got sick. Wicked headache, aching sore throat. All I did was sleep basically. Stupid sickness. I'm still sick now, but I'm better. I didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer.**

**Happy April fools day (to those who celebrate it)! Ok, I'm going to sleep now.**

**Reviews/comments are always welcome :) **


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

I dreamed of Tom that night, and in my dream we touched like we never touched before, kissed like we never kissed before, and just when it was starting to go the NC17 route, I woke up. The bus rattled beneath me as I came back to my pitiful reality. I growled as I realized that beautiful dream was over, and I was now stuck on a tour bus to Hannover in Germany. The first concert was in that city and we were going to be driving most of the night to get their. At about 6am we would arrive and from there we would be moved to hotel rooms for that night. The boys would be giving interviews and doing photo shoots all day. I was going to be hidden in my hotel room, away from the questioning world.

Haley was sleeping with Bill right now, who was in his room on the second floor of the bus. The bus only had two bed rooms on it, and they were both taken up by the twins. Georg and Gustav slept on a different bus, but it was pretty much the same style. Their was no way in hell that I would share a bed with Tom anytime soon, and I wasn't really close to the other workers who were on other busses. Carol was sleeping on Dunja's and Nathalie's tour bus. She had gotten to know them really well over the previous years. So basically that left me with only the couch to sleep on in one of the band busses. I was asleep on the Twins bus because Haley wanted to be with Bill. I had asked about the whole "No girls on the tour bus" rule, but they made an exception for me. I wasn't just some random groupie that wanted to sleep with the boys. I was Sadie Hawkins, best friend of the twins – well not really at the moment – and mother of Tom Kaulitz's daughter.

I stretched back out onto the couch from my sitting position and tried to go back to sleep. As much as I willed the wonderful dream to come back, it didn't. My mind was now alert and I couldn't go back to sleep. Just as I was about to give up and go do something productive, I heard what sounded like somebody banging into something, followed by a sharp 'ow!' The bus had hit a rather large dip in the road.

I sat up and peered into the darkness until I finally made out Tom's figure. He was slightly hunched over and rubbing his nose. "What the hell?" I whispered and swung my legs over the couch.

Tom's head snapped up at me and threw a hand over his heart. "Holy shit Sadie! You scared me!"

"I, scared Tom Kaulitz?" I smirked and got up from the couch, slowly making my way over to him, and crossed my arms.

"Uh… yea" He backed up a tiny step, and then quickly said, "What are you doing up anyway? It's 3:30 in the morning."

I found his eyes in the darkness and stared into them. "I should be asking you the same question."

"I was thirsty." Tom leaned over and flicked on a dim light that was on the counter next to us. "I wanted a beer."

"At 3:30 in the morning?" I raised an eyebrow, finding this hard to believe, my eyes adjusting to the small light.

He shrugged and turned towards the fridge. "Yea. Want one?"

I shook my head and watched him grab a bottle of Bud Light from the fridge. "After my previous experience with alcohol, no thanks."

Tom smiled and sat down at the table, beer in hand. "So you're going to let one bad experience stop you from having this amazing beverage again?" He popped open the top and took a quick swig.

"No. I'm just taking things slow now." I decided to sit across from him. "No need to rush things right?"

"I guess." He took another swig, his hand reaching up to touch his nose.

It was then I noticed the blood slowly streaming out of his nose and gasped. "Tom! You're bleeding!" I scrambled up from my seat and opened the freezer to find a cold pack or something. I grabbed a wad of paper towels and a bag of cold peas and laid them down in front of him. I couldn't find anything else. Peas were just going to have to do

Tom brought his hand up to examine it, but the sight didn't faze him. He chuckled at my attempt to help him. "It's all right Sadie. Just a little blood."

"Well then clean yourself up!" I exclaimed and threw one of the many paper towels at his face.

Tom picked one up and put it under his nose. "Happy?"

"Very." I nodded once and then before really thinking about it, I grabbed his bottle of beer and took a sip.

"Couldn't resist could you?" Tom was smirking and reached for his beer.

My face burned a little, but I remained full eye contact with him. "No." I was thirsty, and beer was pretty good. "But that's all I'm going to have."

He waved the beer bottle in my face. "Are you sure?" He taunted.

"Yes." I really didn't want anymore. I was good. One sip was all I needed. I sat back in my chair and relaxed, leaning my head on the wall behind me. We briefly smiled at each other and I could feel myself falling for him all over again. This is what I missed. Just being able to talk, light banter, no tension. My best friend was in front of me once again. I just couldn't help but wonder when he was going to go back to being a dick again.

The bus continued to rattle beneath us, but it was now oddly comforting. I think I was already beginning to get use to the tour bus.

"You don't like Bianca do you?"

My smile faded and my gaze landed on the floor. Now why did he have to go and bring her up? "That obvious huh?"

Tom nodded and removed the now bloody paper towel away from his face. "Yea. All the glares you send each other…" All clear now.

I sighed. "Yea well… I can't help it. She can be such a bitch at times."

Tom nodded. "I know."

"And it doesn't help that she's always all over you." I muttered that last part. It wasn't really meant for Tom's ears, but he had heard.

"Does that bother you?" He whispered.

I looked up at him, to find him fully staring straight into my eyes. He wanted the truth, but I wasn't sure I was ready to give it to him. "Umm… I find it more annoying then anything. I just think it should be… saved for the bed room." I said this slowly, trying to not give attitude, but we all know how I've been lately.

"Because you and Bill were doing a pretty good job of doing just that." His voice had suddenly gone cold, all the friendliness leaving his eyes.

"Hey." I was caught off guard by his sudden mood change. "Why do you have to bring that up? It was a mistake. You know that." My good mood had now changed too. I was now slightly annoyed with Tom.

"You said you wanted to kiss Bill." He was now glaring at me.

"Tom, why do you have to ruin us finally having a decent conversation?" I crossed my arms and scowled. "I would have never 'woken up' if I knew you were going to do this."

The anger suddenly vanished from his eyes and he seemed to go back into his relaxed self. "I'm sorry… I just… never mind."

"Ok…" I was confused. Was he on a period or something? What was with the sudden mood change? "I'm going back to sleep."

I stood up but Tom grabbed my arm, stopping me from going any further from the table. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin that… It's just I've been uh… thinking bout what happened at the club and it just jumped out. I'm sorry if it upset you." He let go of my arm as soon as he had seen I was going to listen.

"It's fine Tom." Things felt awkward for me again. I don't know why, but I just wanted to curl back up into the couch and hide.

He stood up and put a hand out. "Friends?"

I stared at the hand out in front of me. I wanted to take it. I wanted to say 'No… more then friends,' but it was so obvious we weren't. We were just two young, immature adults forced to be parents and get along for the sake of our kid. No love anywhere for the two of us. "Ok." I reached out and shook it, but I was totally surprised when Tom pulled me into a hug. It wasn't a bone crushing hug. It was a nice, gentle, almost 'we could be lovers' type of hug. As soon as my face gently collided with his shirt, my dream re-entered my head. He smelled AH-MAH-ZING. Spicy, musky and sweet. I missed it so much I almost buried my face in his chest. I remembered how he use to touch me, how he use to kiss me with those perfect pink lips. I remembered our one and only night together, and I didn't want to let go. I wanted to remain standing here with Tom holding me. I wanted to remain here because there was no chaos and drama in our life. Just Tom and I. I knew that if were I were to tip my face up, our lips would only be inches apart, but I didn't know if I would be able to control myself.

I shuddered and pulled away, knowing that it would never be. Why stay with something so good, and know it was never meant for you? "Good night Tom."

***

I opened the door to my hotel room, Bill standing right behind me. He was holding Haley bridal style, who was asleep in his arms. We had arrived right on time, 6am. The boy's interviews didn't start till around ten, so everyone decided to follow their plan and sleep for a few more hours. I would have all day, so it wasn't as crucial for me to get back to sleep, as it was for them. Still, I was tired. That little run in I had with Tom just a few hours ago had kept me awake and thinking.

Could their be an 'us' again? I mean we can barely be friends, but an 'us?' I don't know about that… Bill gently laid Haley down on the bed of the covers he had just pulled down and then tucked her in. She was still asleep, stirred a little, but asleep. It would be great though for Haley. I mean if Tom and I got back together again. She then might finally have a constant father figure in her life. The keyword is might. I don't even know if Tom wants to be, let alone ready, a father. I'm not sure if he's ready to put the whole playboy act aside and step up and be a man. I couldn't let one good time with Tom cloud my judgment about him though. He was still with Bianca and he was still an ass sometimes… well there were a few other good times recently.

"Thank you Bill." I said quietly and walked him to the door.

"Yea sure, no problem." Bill smiled. "She's always welcome to share my bunk with me." His face saddened. "Her company is quite nice though. It's been awfully lonely the past few days, because of the whole… you know."

"Carol still mad?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yea. It's understandable though. Sort of. I think I just need to make a better apology." Bill sighed. "I miss her. I hate us not talking."

"Bill I feel like this is my fault, and I'm very sorry." I was sincere. I _was_ sorry. I hated seeing them like this. I mean, they were growing apart anyway it seemed, but this just finished it. They had some room to come back together, but I killed it. "I know you love Carol and I know that you were really never interested in me, and I'm sorry I took advantage of you."

"Sadie you were drunk!"

"That still doesn't excuse what we did… what _I _did." I shook my head shamefully. "It wouldn't have even happened if it weren't for me."

"I think you're wrong." Bill said. "I think it would've happened." I raised an eyebrow, hoping it would have continued. "In my drunken state of mind, I kept thinking about you, I wanted you. You just… you just got to me first." He shrugged with a grave look. "Sadie, I think I've confused you for the past few months. Make you think things about us that were never really there. In truth, I kind of liked having another girl, per say. We weren't going out, but at times it felt like we were. Now don't think I was willing to cheat on Carol, because I wasn't and I'm not. It's just… our relationship was like… dead I guess. Nothing there. I don't know… it just seemed cool that I sort of had this thing going on with you that wasn't really going on."

I nodded my head, following his every word. "So in a way you were leading me on."

"I don't know… I guess. I didn't expect anything to happen though! Things were beginning to get cool between Carol and I again, and um… I was starting to get over you. I don't know if that I was necessarily into you, no offense because you are beautiful and all, but my heart belongs to Carol, and it always has."

I knew that Bill and I were never meant to be, but hearing him say that… it hurt me. I felt like he had just dropped a bridge on me. Just when it seems like a guy is interested in me for me, he leaves me hanging for the other girl, my best friend. I guess deep down inside of me, I had hoped it would work out between Bill and I, even though I knew it never would.

I coughed awkwardly and rubbed my arm with my good hand. "I understand." I didn't mean for it to come out so pitifully, but it did.

"Hey, hey." Bill reached out and pulled me into a tender hug. Two Kaulitz' hug in one night… lucky me. "I still love you, like you're my sister. You'll always be close to me. But if it makes you feel any better," He pulled away and looked me straight in the eye with a smirk. "You are a damn good kisser. "

***

Haley was playing with blocks when I had woken about five hours later. I kept a few of them for her in my purse so they were easily accessible.

"Good morning Haley." I said pleasantly and stretched.

"Hi mommy." Haley smiled and stacked the blocks by color.

I don't know why, but I felt so much more at peace. Maybe it was because I had finally talked to the twins and we had gotten some things sorted out. Yea, that must be it. I still had a lot to say to Tom, but at least we had agreed to try and make the effort to be friends. Tom hadn't brought up the text message with Sean, and I was glad of it. No unnecessary drama please.

I peered outside the window and looked down at the crowd of Tokio fans and paparazzi. I wondered if the day would ever come that I would not see a single fan or some type of media person outside of my hotel. Not likely to happen anytime soon, that's for sure. I continued to stare down at the crowd when I noticed a group of reporters interviewing someone. It was a news television team, so I checked what channel and then ran to my TV to turn it on. I found the channel and immediately my calmness went away. They were interviewing Bianca.

"Sadie and I? Umm ya know we use to be really tight, but now I don't really know what's going on." Bianca was dressed like a slut, as usual. "Sometimes I think that she is trying to steal Tom from me." She mock pouted for the media. My hand curled into a fist.

The journalist asked, "Would you say that was a part of the scene at the club?"

"Um… I don't really mean to start any thing, but yea. I kinda do. Also Bill and Carol are together. She had no right to be doing that. Apparently she doesn't care at all about her friend's feelings. Seriously, who does that? Sadie is gorgeous and can have guy she wants, so why does she want the Kaulitz twins? They are off the market." Bianca suddenly started to tear up. "It just, I don't know… makes me so sad. Sadie and I use to be like this," She crossed her index and middle finger, "But now all she wants is to ruin my relationship with Tom."

"What?!" I screamed and almost attacked the TV screen. She was only half right. I'm not trying to ruin Carol and Bill. I'm trying to ruin her and Tom. Tom was my man! Bianca needs to get her grubby little hands off of him and stay out of our lives. I started to stomp the floor angrily. I didn't know what else to do! I didn't want to start a huge scene in front of Haley.

"Mommy what are you doing?"

"Mommy is trying a new exercise routine." My teeth were greeted and I swear if looks could kill, that little Bianca bitch would be dead.

My cell phone rang, and I momentarily paused my fit to check it. One new text from Sean. I sighed not wanting to deal with him, but read it anyway.

_Hey babe. My flight leaves in a about an hour. Sorry I can't join you tonight in Hanover, but I will see you tomorrow in Essen. I miss your sexy self. Love, Sean. _

Oh great…

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**Hey guys!!! So yes, took me a while to update. But beside all these stupid events in my crazy life, I also had a serious case of writers block. Like I kept writing out this chapter, but then ended up hating it and would have to re write it, or take out a scene, or something!**

**Anways, remember to add me on twitter. username is TKaulitzfanfics. I post all my news their. Review :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

The tour was starting in just a few hours. I was standing in the middle of the big venue with Haley balanced on my hip. The stage was finally complete and it was amazing. It had three levels to it, and to get to each level there was an elevator in the middle, or stairs to the left and to the right of the stage. The catwalk was raised and could move above the crowd. So Bill could run out to the end and be gliding over at least 10 rows of fans. I tried it out the other day with Haley. It's so much fun! You gotta be careful though and not move around too much or else you will lose your balance and fall into the crowd. For some reason I didn't think the crowd would mind too much if Bill fell on top of them…

"Sadie!" Tom called from the stage. "You coming?"

"Yea! Be there in a sec!" I propped Haley onto my hip a little higher and walked up to the stairs that led onto the stage. They would be removed before the fans would enter the venue.

Haley made grabby hands at Tom, who had waited for me, and was happily pulled into Tom's arms. He was slowly getting use to the fact of having Haley want him all the time. I don't think he was acknowledging the fact she was his daughter yet, but he was accepting her into the tour family. In his mind Haley was probably just _my _daughter. She didn't belong to anyone but me.

I felt my phone in my pocket vibrate. I pulled it out and checked the caller ID. Sean. "Hey Tom, I'll meet you guy's back there in a bit. I gotta take this."

Tom tickled Haley and grinned as she began to laugh. "Who is it?"

"Just Dawn." I said relatively calm. First person to come to my mind!

"Oh yea, sure." I don't think Tom had really heard me. He was too entertained making Haley laugh.

As soon as Tom was out of earshot, I sighed and answered my phone. "Why the hell are you coming here?"

"What? No hello, nice to hear your sexy voice?"

I rolled my eyes. "What do you want?"

"Geez babe. I called to make sure you got my text."

"Yes I got your text." Around me, the stage crew was running around putting the last finishing touches on the stage.

"Well then why didn't you text me back?"

"I was hoping that if I didn't respond, you wouldn't want to come out here." Suddenly the stage blacked out and before I could say anything, a hundred million lights and laser beams were shooting through the venue. They even brought down this huge disco ball from the ceiling, all though I didn't know why there even was one. I didn't think a disco ball was going to be used during their performance.

Sean laughed. "Oh really now?"

"Yea." I covered my phone with my hand and whispered, "You shouldn't come here. The guy's hate you."

"You mean Tom hates me."

"No, I mean _everyone_ hates you." It was true. The other night Sean's name came up in a discussion, and nobody was afraid to voice his or her disgust for the guy.

"Why?"

"Sean, do I really have to bring that up?" The guy was playing stupid, and I wasn't up for any of his games.

"Aw come on babe. I thought you were over it. It's in the past." He talked as if what he had done to me was no big deal, when in fact it still was.

"I am over it." No I wasn't. "But I'm pretty sure everyone else out here isn't. It's not a good idea. You should just come home."

"And miss seeing your sexy self? Hell no."

I stomped on the stage, not even realizing how angry Sean was making me. "Sean please! It's not a good idea!" I guess I had yelled, because one of the stagehands had glanced over at me. I hoped they hadn't heard me say Sean's name.

"Babe, what are you so worried about? It'll be fine."

"No it won't be! Don't come here!" I ended the call and thrust my phone into my pocket.

**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

"_Get into wardrobe first, and then go to hair and makeup."_ _I smiled at the photographer who had given me a look over and was satisfied to have me in his studio._ _I was doing a shoot for Seventeen Magazine today. The magazine is all about fresh, happy looking girls, but luckily for me, they were letting me dress edgy, with a flare of happiness._

_I headed into wardrobe and was greeted by a lady who handed me a purple leather jacket, gray cut up shirt, black jeans with studs going down the sides and dark gray knee high boots. "Thank you." I grabbed the clothes and stepped into the dressing room. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't very small either. Probably could fit around 8 or 9 people comfortably. I've shot a Seventeen Magazine cover before, but for some reason, I was very excited to shoot today. I guess it's because my life has been pretty amazing lately. A week ago Tom and I had been together. Like together, together. Everytime I thought about it bursts of happiness erupted in me. Ya, we didn't get to see each other a lot since my mom found out, but when I did get to see him, I couldn't be happier._

_I had put on my pants and boots, when I heard a knock on the door just as I threw my shirt over my head. I didn't have a chance to respond or look over my shoulder, when I heard someone come in and wrap there arms around my waist from behind. I giggled as Tom kissed my neck and squeezed my waist. "Tom you're not supposed to be in here."_

"_Why?" It was muffled as he kissed my neck again. _

"_Because this is the dressing room." I leaned back into him and gently placed my hands on top of his._

"_Well then you should've locked the door." Tom pulled away and whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine._

"_Ya." I turned my head and our lips were inches apart. "That would've been a good idea." _

_Tom saw his chance and took it, bringing our lips together into a kiss. I tucked my fingers under his, standing on my tippy toes trying to make it easier. Oh man, had I missed the boy. It had only been 3 days, but it was 3 days too long! Tom dragged his mouth along my jaw and neckline, placing small kisses all the way down. _

"_Tom." I slightly moaned right as he stopped on my neck again, near my jugular vain, and sucked. "Not here." My protest was barely audible as Tom continued. His hands left my waist and slowly traveled up, the sucking getting harder. "Seriously Tom…" The boy was not about to give me a hicky! I had a magazine photo shoot! But damn… it felt amazing. Mustering all the strength I had in me, I pulled my neck away from Tom and turned to him. "Not here ok? I'm working!"_

"_When?" Tom wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, our chests touching. _

"_Tonight." I had been thinking about it for a few days. "My mom's working all night at the hospital. You could come over then."_

"_Or you could come over to my place."_

_I laughed. "Hotel Room? That's tacky."_

_Tom gasped. "What are you talking about? Lots of people have sex in hotel rooms," He paused." Everybody has sex in hotel rooms!"_

"_Ya well not me." I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled into his chest._

"_What about a honeymoon when you get married? Are you going to wait till you get home?"_

"_Oh yea huh…" I needed a good answer… there was no good answer. "Ok well, that's different! You're supposed have to sex in a hotel room then! Actually… I like the idea of sex on the beach."_

"_That," Tom's body twitched, "Is something I've always wanted to try."_

_I looked up at him and smirked. "Maybe one day we'll get the chance."_

"_Looking forward to it." He winked, thrusting his hands into my back pockets and kissed me._

_A knock on the door interrupted us and I had realized how much time I was taking to 'change'. "Tonight." I said and pecked his lips._

"_Tonight." Tom reaffirmed and snapped my bra strap. "This is a good look for you." _

_I playfully smacked his arm and threw on my shirt and leather jacket, anxious for the day to end. _

"Sadie. Hello?" I blinked a few times before I saw Tom's hand waving in my face.

"What?" I shook my head. "Sorry, spaced out." We were sitting in the green room with the rest of the guys. Carol was sitting in the corner with the Double G's and Haley, while Bill was getting the finishing touches on his makeup. Concert started in 3 hours and the boys had a meet and greet with a few lucky fans.

"Yea I thought so." Tom picked up his guitar and started to fiddle with the strings, getting ready to tune it. "Ok, I trying to ask, before you went off to space, if you wanted pizza or something else tonight. We're letting you girls choose."

"Um…" I still wasn't fully there yet. Half of me was still stuck in space. "Sure whatever."

"So you want pizza?"

"Uh huh." You know, that night never happened. Tom had forgotten he had an early press conference the next morning and we has decided to reschedule.

"Sadie!"

"What…" I was really bummed out. It didn't matter if we were going to have sex or not, I just wanted to be with him. Jost had thought it was good idea that Tom just stay 'home' for the evening. Tom always does what he wants to, but for some reason he had listened to Jost that night.

Tom snapped his fingers in my face. "Sadie!"

I snapped out of it and stared at Tom. "What! I'm here!"

"Gosh where were you…" Tom grumbled. "Can't even get your attention."

"Sorry." I apologized. "I'm here now. Pizzas great."

Tom laughed and played the opening chords to _Ready Set Go_.

"Hey Tom, I've been meaning to talk to you about Bianca." This morning, after watching the news, I spent my day by reorganizing my suitcase and planning ways that I could potentially hurt Bianca. That bitch was not going to get away with starting shit about me. I mean yea, I guess in a way it's true. I did want Tom back, and yea I was trying to steal him away from her, but that didn't she have to tell the whole world that!

He stopped playing, and furrowed his eyebrows. "What's up?"

"Earlier this morning, I was watching the news and she said that –"

The door opened to the room revealing Saki and Tobi. "Guy's, it's time."

The others stopped what they were doing and headed to the door as Tom put down his guitar. "We'll talk after the show yea?

I shrugged. "Sure whatever." Tom turned and left with the others, leaving me in the room with Carol and Haley. Oh how I hoped Carol hadn't said anything.

**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

It had been about eight months since the boys had last gone on tour, and it was very obvious how much the boys missed being on stage. The unending noise from the crowd pumped the guys up even more and it was amazing to see them in their element again. So much energy all over the stage. The four boys knew how to rock out.

Security had roped off a small section in the pit for Carol and I, and when I say small, it was small. Like basically enough room for maybe three or four people. They didn't want Carol and I to get attacked by the fans, so they set up three security guards around us. It didn't phase either of us. We sang and danced around in our little space, entranced by the four beauties on stage. It didn't matter that I was friends with them. As soon as the boys hit the stage, it was just me seeing my favorite band, not my friends.

Tom was only a few feet from me as I had requested I be placed on that side of the stage. They were playing Reden, one of my personal favs, even though I wasn't a fan of the subject matter. Tom's eyes opened and he searched the crowd until his eyes fell on mine. I looked around to make sure that he wasn't looking at another girl, but the only girl right next to me was Carol, and I was pretty sure he wasn't looking at her. Tom wiggled his eyebrows, his eyes full of excitement as his fingers ran over the strings. I laughed and shook my head at his nonsense, but he just winked and got right back into the music. There was my best friend. Again I wondered how long this good mood of his would last.

Bill ran down the catwalk and threw his sunglasses out into the crowd. About a hundred girls dove to the ground trying to the grab their idolized singers sunglasses. I don't know whom the lucky girl was, but I'm sure she fought hard for them. Carol and I glanced at each other with knowing looks. Their was no way in hell that we would get anywhere near the area where the sunglasses were. The girl was brave and we respected her determination.

Carol and I weren't the best of friends again, but we were on speaking terms again. I needed her help with changing earlier in the day because of my stupid bandaged hand.

"_Thanks for helping me"_

"_Whatever." Carol huffed and pulled the shirt over my head, avoiding my hand._

"_Ummm the orange one." I nodded to the folded orange t- shirt that lay in my suitcase. She grabbed it, shook it out and slid it over my head._

"_Thanks." I hated asking for her help. It was embarrassing. I'm surprised she even agreed to help since she was still mad at me. _

"_If you hand me the white jeans already buttoned, I should be able to get them on myself. They're loose enough." After much struggling of pulling each leg up, I got the pants on. I left the bra alone. It had only been like a day or two, so it wasn't that bad. Maybe tomorrow I'd change it. _

_Sitting down on the floor I slipped on my black vans, and contemplated how I would tie them. Usually tying took two hands, but I really didn't want to ask Carol, so I tried to do it with one hand. She couldn't stand watching my pathetic attempt so she kneeled down in front of me, slapped my hand away and grabbed the laces. "Haley, come here." She called to the three year old who was watching Dragon Tales. Haley obediently got up from the floor and walked over to where we were seated. _

"_This is how you tie a shoe. Watch." _

_Carol started to cross the laces when I stopped her. "What do you think you are doing?"_

"_Tying your shoes."_

"_No with Haley. She's 3!"_

"_Yea so? Nothing wrong with learning early."_

"_Maybe I don't want her to learn yet. She will learn when I feel she is ready to."_

"_There is nothing wrong with teaching a kid the basic concept. So Haley, you pull the right lace over the left-"_

"_Carol stop! You're not her mother! When I want her to learn, I will teach her." I was clearly aggravated, and so was she._

"_When's that going to be? You're too busy drinking, fucking Sean and messing around with my boyfriend behind my back!"_

"_What?" I gasped, completely missing the part where she said I was fucking Sean. "Carol how many times do I have to tell you! That wasn't supposed to happen!"_

"_Haley you can go back to watching Dragon Tales." The toddler nodded and sat back down in front of the TV. Carol glared at me. "How do I know that's true?"_

"_Because it is! Whatever happened between Bill and I was not supposed to happen! It was an accident! I had friken beer goggles on! My judgment was clouded!"_

"_How do you expect me to believe you?" By now Carol had tied my shoes, yay, but WAY too tight. I was losing the circulation in my feet._

_I stared up at her. "Have I given you a reason not too?"_

"_I watched the news this morning, and I heard what Bianca said, and honestly it makes sense." Carol crossed her arms. "Oh and you haven't been so truthful about your relationship with Sean."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_When you were in the bathroom when I first walked in, you got a new text. I only meant to glance at the name so I could tell you that so and so texted you, but when I saw Sean's name I had to read it. And I'm glad I did. Now I really know what's going on between you too."_

_I picked up the phone she had just thrown up at me and read the latest text from Sean. Babe. I hope you brought your light blue and cheetah underwear. You look like a fucking goddess in that. ;) I clenched my phone as fear surged through my body. Carol knew, and there was nothing I could do to deny it. _

_She stood up and glared at me. "I can't believe you're sleeping with your rapist." _

"_It's not like that! Believe me!" I pleaded, even though I knew it wasn't going to do anything._

"_Then what is it? There is no other explanation!" She paused. "Does Bill know? Does anyone know?"_

"_My mom." I whispered, looking at the floor shamefully. "No one else."_

"_So he's coming down tomorrow…" Carol's voice had calmed._

"_Yes, and I would appreciate if you didn't tell anyone." I stood up and put a foot on my bed, tugging on the laces with my good hand to loosen them a bit. _

_She looked up at me for a good ten seconds before agreeing. "Fine"_

I rubbed my neck, coming back to reality. Carol was next to me singing her lungs out, just as I should've been doing instead of dwelling on my problems. I hoped Haley wasn't too upset. I gave her to some of the crewmembers because being out the in the crowd was too dangerous for her.

**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

The concert had ended about 3 hours ago and we were already on our way to the next venue. The boys had played an amazing show and I couldn't have been more proud of them. We were leaving in about 15 minutes to spend the next few hours in a tour bus to the next venue. I was about 30 feet from the tour buses, smoking a quick cigarette before we left.

"Hey! Can I join you?"

I turned around to see Bill jogging up to me, pulling out a box of his own cancer sticks. "Yea sure."

"Thanks." He lit up and pretty soon smoke was pouring from his mouth. "Haley's asleep in my room on the bus."

"Oh yea? Well that makes my life easier then. I won't have to deal with trying to get her to go to sleep." I flicked the end of the cigarette and watched the ashes fade. "I'm hoping that maybe for the next concert we can get her into the venue, but a more secure spot. I'm sure she would love to see you guys play. And by the way, you guys were awesome tonight."

"Really?" Bill's eyes lit up. "Thank you! But yea, I was thinking about that too. I'm sure we can arrange something."

We stood in silence, enjoying each others company as our lungs filled with smoke for a moment or two, until Bill spoke up. "Hey so I heard you and Carol talked today. Thing's got pretty heated."

My body went rigid and my heart began to pound. Did she tell him? "What'd she say?"

**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

**If you feel the unexplainable urge to curse or go off at me, fire at will. I totally deserve it. I kept you guys waiting FOREVER, and I'm sorry! I've had so much crap going on in my life, I almost couldn't bear it! Almost got fired at my job too because I've been so distracted lately. Well I'm back!**

**I'm really sorry for keeping you waiting so long. But a HUGE thank you to everyone who wrote me wonderful reviews and sent wonderful comments. I could NEVER forget you guys, especially with all the love you guy's give me. I am officially out of school now, and Beauty school in the very near future (September to be exact)! Can't wait to start! Maybe I'll be doing hair and makeup on the Ellen Degeneres show one day and Tokio Hotel will be there getting interviewed! :o! **

**Anyways, I'm done rambling. Sorry for such a long wait and I look forward to hearing from you guys.**


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